Part 7 (1/2)

”I canna be tied down, worrit about Kate, when I should be out leading our men. This is not what is best for the Clan, and ye ken it, ye b.a.s.t.a.r.d!” Devon's fist thundered as it struck something in the room, possibly the wall or the desk.

”She's not at all bad tae look at, in fact, I wouldn't mind having her warm my bed. Ye can think of this as a favor, brother.” I could imagine Collin's vindictive smile as he taunted Devon. ”Let me ken your answer by morning. If I doona hear from ye, I'll make preparations to transfer the la.s.s tae the Camerons tomorrow afternoon.”

”f.u.c.k you,” Devon said harshly.

Numbly, I strode forward into the library, knowing that Devon was about to leave the room. I would be caught if I tried to flee down the hallway. Hearing Devon's clear aversion to marrying me had quite surprisingly hurt, his rejection stung even though I didn't want to marry either. Given the choice between him and this Cameron fellow, I was quite sure that Devon was my best option.

As I pushed though the door, both men turned, faces flushed and jaws clenched with the anger of their confrontation. I had caught them off guard.

”Kate!” Devon exclaimed, green eyes glancing nervously towards his brother.

I couldn't look at him, so I addressed Collin cordially. ”I was hoping to borrow that book now that the weather has turned,” I smiled shakily to cover just how uncomfortable I was.

Collin rose from behind his desk and walked briskly to the shelf across the room, deftly pulling out the volume that he had offered me earlier. He handed it to me and I reached my hand out swiftly, afraid that I was shaking.

”Thanks.”

”How much of that did ye overhear, la.s.s?” he asked directly.

”All of it,” I responded, and turned on my heel as I straightened my spine and walked from the room, fighting back tears that I wasn't sure why I had.

I was trying my hardest not to panic about my current circ.u.mstances. My rouse of normalcy consisted of a rather large gla.s.s of red wine, my second this evening, and Collin's book, a reminder of what had transpired earlier in the library. I feared that this situation was my penance for a.s.suming Katherine Berks.h.i.+re's ident.i.ty. I would now be used as Collin wished to make money for the Clan. I was angry at the situation but refused to be a victim. I would find a way out of this mess. Should I escape? Where would I go? Should I try to talk Devon into marrying me in order to save myself from a far worse fate? The thought of being Devon's wife sent my blood racing.

I couldn't focus on the contents of the book and found that alcohol coupled with a boring read could not distract me from thinking the prospect of my impending forced marriage. All of this on top of the fact that I was living under the a.s.sumed ident.i.ty of a woman I knew to be dead weighed heavily on my conscience.

What would Collin do when he found out that I was a fraud? Could I keep up this rouse and allow Katherine's dowry to be collected?

I took another gulp of wine, knowing that I would pay for my overindulgence tomorrow with one h.e.l.l of a headache, but also, not letting this knowledge stop me.

The idea of marrying Devon terrified me! Devon was certainly not unappealing. In fact he was quite the opposite. His quick wit and easy demeanor coupled with his rakish long hair and muscular physique were alluring. There was a connection between us and I could not deny that the kisses that we shared had been earth-shaking. The way my body responded to his touch was unlike anything that I had ever experienced.

If I became Devon's wife, it would force me to stay permanently at McClain castle. Staying here would increase the risk that my father's men might find me. Marrying Devon would eventually expose that I was not Katherine Berks.h.i.+re. I could not keep this fraud up indefinitely. Devon would offer me a temporary sense of security and belonging, but I loathed the idea of tying him up in my web of lies. Greedily, I wanted him, but my conscience knew that I should let him go.

I gave up on reading and closed the book, resting its leather weight next to me on the settee. I took another sip of wine, noticing that my gla.s.s was quickly becoming more empty than full, savoring its fruity warmth in my mouth before swallowing it down. I leaned by head back, closed my eyes and relaxed against the high back of the settee, tired from thinking so much about a situation that I had so little control over. Maybe I could work out a plan with Devon. After walking in on his heated conversation with Collin, it was clear that he also did not wish to be wed. Maybe he would help me to escape to avoid this unwanted marriage.

”Aghemm,” I startled, and turned at the sound of a throat being cleared behind me.

I raked a hand through my tousled hair and peered over the back of the settee. My eyes met Devon's and we both quickly glanced away, sensing immediately the precarious balance to our situation. He was carrying a bottle of wine and two of Collin's crystal goblets, which he sat on the small table next to me.

”May I join ye, la.s.s,” he said cautiously, searching my face for an answer. There was awkwardness between us that had never been there before and I knew that he felt this too by the way that his eyes nervously scanned the alcove as he awaited my answer.

”Of course,” I responded tersely, trying not to notice the way that the presence of this beautiful man affected me.

Oh, Devon. I want you so much. But now I know that you don't want me.

My heart sank.

”I came prepared, but I see that you started without me,” he chuckled as he surveyed my nearly empty gla.s.s, uncorked the wine and filled his own with ruby liquid. He took a deep drag of the wine, savoring it in his mouth for a few seconds before swallowing.

”Well, la.s.s, this is quite uncomfortable, is it no?” he said, acknowledging the strangeness of our situation. He raised the bottle of wine in invitation and I handed him my gla.s.s to refill.

”Yes. Yes it is,” I responded, nodding in agreement, thankful that I wasn't the only one on edge.

He took another deep swallow of wine and set the bottle down on the table between us. My eyes lingered on his lips. His lips set in a hard line as he began to talk. I remembered how lovely it had felt to kiss him.

”I'm sorry about what ye heard this morning, between my brother and I. I'd not intended ye to be there. I'm sorry.”

Now he focused on his gla.s.s, refusing to make eye contact with me.

”I could tell,” I said, surprised at the harsh tone of my voice. He had made his thoughts about marrying me quite clear. Quite clear indeed.

”It was not as ye thought. I mean, it's not that I don't want tae marry ye.” His eyes met mine and held my gaze with an intense stare.

”Devon, there's no need to lie. It was quite clear that you don't want to marry me, and believe me, I don't blame you.” I was not in the mood for excuses. ”I don't want to marry you either if that makes you feel any better.” I responded tartly, subconsciously admitting that my statement was a lie.

He smiled. ”A blow straight to my heart,” he said, clasping his hand to his chest.

”I've come to explain why I don't want to marry ye. I think that ye deserve an explanation.”

I straightened myself on the settee and looked directly into his green eyes. ”You do not need to give me an excuse, Devon McClain. Whatever your reason is, I don't need an explanation. You have no responsibility to me as far as I am concerned.” I had liked Devon from our first encounter in the great hall, in fact, I had been immediately attracted to him, yet I refused to allow him to be drawn further into my complicated situation.

Meeting my stare head on, the intensity in Devon's eyes dared me to look away and I noted the manner in which he clenched his angular jaw as he searched for the correct words to respond with.

”Yer right, Kate. I've nae responsibility to ye and certainly no claim upon ye. But I do fancy ye, and I'll put a claim on ye if need be so that I can offer ye my protection.”

”I don't need protection,” I challenged his argument, but my traitorous heart sped up at the implication of his words.

”When it comes to my brother, all women need protection. He sees you as a p.a.w.n in his game. A possession tae use for profit,” he said firmly, meeting my gaze. ”Collin will force ye tae marry, either tae me or the Cameron. Ye deserve more than that, Kate.”

The seriousness of his tone struck me.

”Collin knows that I doona want tae take a wife, that is part of the reason that he is forcing me tae wed ye. He takes great joy in controlling my life and it makes him feel powerful tae control me in such a way. He also kens that when the Cameron finds out that I've taken ye tae wife, he will be enraged. He'll take it as a personal insult, d.a.m.n the b.a.s.t.a.r.d! Most likely he will try to kill me himself.” Devon's brows furrowed together as he contemplated the situation.

”Why does the Cameron Laird want to marry me?” I questioned, not grasping the reasons behind the Laird, currently at war with the McLains, wanting to have Katherine Berks.h.i.+re for his wife.

”Money, mostly. But also, he's been seeking an alliance with yer Da for years. He wants to secure an alliance with the Berks.h.i.+res to secure a valuable trade route.”

”So he thinks that marrying me will help him align with my father?” I questioned, feeling strange claiming Kate Berks.h.i.+re's father as mine.

”That's what he's hoping. Yer father chose my Da over the Cameron initially, and I'm sure Cameron is happy tae have a second chance tae take ye tae wife.”

My stomach began to feel queasy the more we spoke about Katherine Berks.h.i.+re's father and her prospects of marriage. I knew that I would not be able to hide under her ident.i.ty for much longer.

”Don't marry me, Devon. Hide me away. Help me escape,” I pleaded, imploring him to help me elude this situation all together.

”It's no that easy la.s.s. If it were, I'd have already stolen ye away. Collin has his guards posted about the keep. They've been watching my every move. Have ye no noticed them watching ye as well? Ye are a very valuable possession tae my brother.”