Part 35 (1/2)
”But even apart from that? Wouldn't the woman, for example, be very bad-natured if she didn't like to live with her husband; merely”-her voice undulated, and he guessed things-”merely because she had a personal feeling against it-a physical objection-a fastidiousness, or whatever it may be called-although she might respect and be grateful to him? I am merely putting a case. Ought she to try to overcome her pruderies?”
Jude threw a troubled look at her. He said, looking away: ”It would be just one of those cases in which my experiences go contrary to my dogmas. Speaking as an order-loving man-which I hope I am, though I fear I am not-I should say, yes. Speaking from experience and unbiased nature, I should say, no. ... Sue, I believe you are not happy!”
”Of course I am!” she contradicted. ”How can a woman be unhappy who has only been married eight weeks to a man she chose freely?”
”'Chose freely!'”
”Why do you repeat it? ... But I have to go back by the six o'clock train. You will be staying on here, I suppose?”
”For a few days to wind up Aunt's affairs. This house is gone now. Shall I go to the train with you?”
A little laugh of objection came from Sue. ”I think not. You may come part of the way.”
”But stop-you can't go to-night! That train won't take you to Shaston. You must stay and go back to-morrow. Mrs. Edlin has plenty of room, if you don't like to stay here?”
”Very well,” she said dubiously. ”I didn't tell him I would come for certain.”
Jude went to the widow's house adjoining, to let her know; and returning in a few minutes sat down again.
”It is horrible how we are circ.u.mstanced, Sue-horrible!” he said abruptly, with his eyes bent to the floor.
”No! Why?”
”I can't tell you all my part of the gloom. Your part is that you ought not to have married him. I saw it before you had done it, but I thought I mustn't interfere. I was wrong. I ought to have!”
”But what makes you a.s.sume all this, dear?”
”Because-I can see you through your feathers, my poor little bird!”
Her hand lay on the table, and Jude put his upon it. Sue drew hers away.
”That's absurd, Sue,” cried he, ”after what we've been talking about! I am more strict and formal than you, if it comes to that; and that you should object to such an innocent action shows that you are ridiculously inconsistent!”
”Perhaps it was too prudish,” she said repentantly. ”Only I have fancied it was a sort of trick of ours-too frequent perhaps. There, you may hold it as much as you like. Is that good of me?”
”Yes; very.”
”But I must tell him.”
”Who?”
”Richard.”
”Oh-of course, if you think it necessary. But as it means nothing it may be bothering him needlessly.”
”Well-are you sure you mean it only as my cousin?”
”Absolutely sure. I have no feelings of love left in me.”
”That's news. How has it come to be?”