Part 18 (1/2)
Jeb almost went to her when her face drained of all color. She was thinking something terrible. Was she worried they were thinking about leaving?
”What is it?” She'd closed down, sounding cold now.
”Um, earlier when we were having s.e.x...”
”Making love,” Marshall interrupted him.
”Yeah?”
”Well, Marshall's condom leaked, and mine broke. We felt like you needed to know.” Jeb waited for her reaction.
”I see. And what are you suggesting?”
Marshall hurried in front of Jeb. ”Just that we want you to know that we care about you more than anything, and no matter what happens, you're who we want to spend the rest of our lives with.”
Drew pulled in a deep breath and turned to Jeb. ”And do you feel the same way?”
”Maybe even more so. I've wanted to say something for a long time but didn't feel like you'd welcome it from a couple of ex-cons like us.”
”I've never cared about your past, Jeb.”
”Maybe not as ranch hands and maybe not as friends but as lovers? I didn't dare hope.”
Marshall took her hands in his. ”What happened with the condoms isn't why we're confessing how we feel about you. It just pushed it up. We were sort of hoping to wait until we had some money to maybe put into the ranch ourselves.”
”I-I don't know what to think. I want to believe you. But why would you want to tie yourselves to me? This is what I want out of life. Just this ranch. I don't have any grand plans of becoming a huge spread with a thousand head of cattle.” She licked her lips. ”Kenny and Robert may be moving here and building their house here to live.”
”That doesn't bother us at all,” Jeb rushed to a.s.sure her. ”We like them and think they're great men.”'
”It will mean a lot more speculation and outright hara.s.sment from the town folk.”
”Had that already. It's not going to bother us,” Marshall a.s.sured her.
”I need to think about it. This is sort of sudden, and I can't help but believe you only feel this way in case I get pregnant.”
”I know you feel that way. But it isn't true. We already feel that way about you. You're everything we've ever wanted in a woman.” Jeb walked over and pulled her to her feet to kiss her.
Marshall wrapped his arms around her from the back and kissed the back of her neck.
”Just think about it, okay? Nothing's changed.”
Drew smiled a tentative smile and wrapped her arms around both men before ushering them into the kitchen for supper.
Drew couldn't believe her ears. They confessed they wanted her for more than a few months and then told her that she might be pregnant by one of them. She'd waited so long to hear those words from them. Well, that they loved her would have been better, but she figured men like them didn't use words like that. Still, now she didn't know if they were just saying that because of the d.a.m.n condom problems or because they really meant it.
She lay in her bubble bath in the spa tub and let the soothing water lull her into an uneasy s.p.a.ce between sleep and dozing. She wanted to believe them, G.o.d, how she wanted to. Should she take the chance and tell them that she loved them and wanted them to be a part of her life from now on?
Nothing came to her while she soaked, nothing but wrinkles from being in the water too long. She finally climbed out of the bath and dried off. She dried her hair with the blow dryer. Then she climbed into bed wondering if her men would come to her or stay away. She curled up in the middle of the bed and cried silent tears.
She wasn't sure how long she stayed awake, but finally, they came to bed, being as quiet as they could, and got undressed. She smiled that they even tried. She sat up in bed and let them off the hook.
”I'm awake. You can turn on the light so you don't break your necks.”
”Sorry, baby. We thought if we waited you'd get some sleep.” Jeb sat on the edge of the bed and pulled off his other boot.
”I couldn't sleep.”
”That's our fault,” Marshall said. ”I'm sorry.”
”It's okay. We needed to talk about our feelings anyway. We've been sleeping together for two weeks now and hadn't addressed it.”
”You know men,” Jeb began. ”We'd go all our lives without addressing it if we could.” He grinned a lopsided grin that always got to her.
”What can we do to help you fall asleep, baby?” Marshall asked. ”Do you want us to help you sleep?”
She chuckled. Their answer to everything was s.e.x. And sometimes that was the answer, but not this time. This time she needed something more from them.
”I just want you to hold me. Hold me like you never want to let me go.”
”We can do that, Drew, 'cause we never want to let you go.” Jeb wrapped his arms around her.
Marshall pulled her against his hard c.o.c.k and let her use his shoulder as a pillow. He smelled so good to her. Both of them did. She would miss their scent on the pillows next to her if they left. She would miss so much about them.
Jeb's hand ma.s.saged her lower back while Marshall's free hand ma.s.saged her shoulder. Always taking care of her, they had no idea how good that felt to her. No one had ever cared enough for her to do that. She'd been the caregiver to her late husband and then to the farm itself. To some extent, she'd watched out for Kenny.
She drifted off to sleep thinking about how good it felt to be cared for.
The next few days proved to be no different from the last few days. They worked the ranch and ate and made love and slept. The snow slowly melted until they could get the truck down the road to town. She and Jeb made ready to take the trip early on Friday morning. She had her list of supplies and goods they needed. Jeb would check in with the sheriff while they were there. She hoped he would have something about who'd tried to kidnap Kenny.
There were times she could almost forget that someone was after her or the farm, but then she'd try to go off and do something on her own, and one of the men would fuss at her. She chomped at the bit to be let free, yet she understood the need for no one to be alone.
They slipped and slid into town with a lot of luck. Jeb wanted to be loaded and gone before the crunchy melting snow and ice had time to refreeze. It would be treacherous to drive back under those conditions.
She dropped Jeb at the sheriff's and headed to the feed store for her order of sweet feed and more rope. She greeted Ricky and gave him her order. He sent the boys out to load her truck.
”About that rope,” he began. ”Do you want something soft that won't chafe the skin? Like when you might tie someone up?” He had a smirk on his face.
”Hmm, Ricky, I didn't know you were into that sort of stuff.”
”I'm not. I just, um, thought you might oh, um, never mind.” He huffed and puffed then walked back to the rope.
”You pick out what you want, and I'll cut it for you.”
”Just give me a roll of the hemp. It will do just fine.” She smiled and couldn't resist. ”Oh and, Ricky?”
”Yeah?”
”Scarves work best for that sort of thing.”