Part 5 (1/2)

9. In case you're curious, the three players selected first overall following Sampson's freshman, soph.o.m.ore, and junior years were Joe Barry Carroll from Purdue, Mark Aguirre from DePaul, and James Worthy from North Carolina. It's possible that the seven-one Carroll would still have gone before Sampson in 1980, but Sampson was already viewed as having greater upside. Aguirre and Worthy were both smaller players and would have been less desirable commodities (although the Lakers would have faced an intriguing decision had Sampson applied to the draft in 1982-they already had Kareem Abdul-Jabbar on the roster).

10. Virginia still won both of these games. This is somewhat remarkable. The first game was against Hakeem Olajuwon (and Benny Anders!) and the rest of the Houston Cougars, a squad that would eventually play in that year's national champions.h.i.+p. Sampson did not play a single minute in the win against Houston. Rick Carlisle must have had an awesome night.

11. When Appalachian State beat Michigan in football early in 2007, many in the media (and even more in the blogosphere) argued that this was the biggest upset ever. In reality, it's not even close. App State was the defending 1-AA national champion, playing a Wolverine team that would go on to lose again the following week. Virginia was the best team in the country in 1983 and Chaminade was an NAIA school that had a basketball program for only the previous seven years.

1. It's hard to imagine a more convoluted way to commit a murder than what happens in Vertigo Vertigo. Quite frankly, it would have been easier for the villain in this film to have simply killed every single person he's ever met.

2. As evidence, Bret Easton Ellis made Body Double Body Double Patrick Bateman's favorite movie in Patrick Bateman's favorite movie in American Psycho American Psycho.

3. This process becomes more interesting when the individual who's ”tweeting” is an authentic person of interest. In February of 2009, Shaquille O'Neal sent a tweet on his ”Real Shaq” account informing his (then) 257,000 followers that he was hanging out in a specific Phoenix shopping mall and would award two free Suns tickets to the first person who responded to his message in person. This was a jarring example of how the Internet is causing the celebrity phenomenon to fork: While most media personalities think the Internet destroys their sense of privacy, guys like Shaq actively use it to give themselves less separation from the rest of society. Shaq wants wants to be bothered by freaks. In general, it's continually amazing how obsessed early adopters of technology are with their own low-level activities. When Dennis Crowley was launching his phone application Foursquare in 2009, he argued, ”What we wanted to do is turn life into a video game. You should be rewarded for going out more times than your friends, and hanging out with new people and going to new restaurants and going to new bars-just experiencing things that you wouldn't normally do.” to be bothered by freaks. In general, it's continually amazing how obsessed early adopters of technology are with their own low-level activities. When Dennis Crowley was launching his phone application Foursquare in 2009, he argued, ”What we wanted to do is turn life into a video game. You should be rewarded for going out more times than your friends, and hanging out with new people and going to new restaurants and going to new bars-just experiencing things that you wouldn't normally do.” Rewarded Rewarded. Crowley feels like technology should reward reward him ... for eating at different restaurants! him ... for eating at different restaurants!

1. Gratuitous aside: I find that ”(Don't Fear) The Reaper” significantly increases my fear of the Reaper. This song is a failure.

2. It would be easy to get sidetracked by all the goofy details in his five-hundred-word biography, so here are my favorites: Gaines was allegedly born in 1967 in Australia, the son of an Olympic swimmer. For some reason, the bio also mentions that this woman medaled in the Commonwealth Games. He is said to have completed his GED in 1987, which I'm guessing was included for inspirational reasons. A lot of people he knew throughout his life died violently, and Gaines almost perished in a 1992 one-car accident that forced him to get plastic surgery on his face, shoulder, and hands. I still have no idea why a doctor would do plastic surgery on somebody's shoulder. I could understand reconstructive bone surgery, but not cosmetic work. Who looks at a musician's shoulder blades? It seems about as relevant as Chris Gaines getting Tommy John surgery.

3. Of course, retail sales of two million in 2009 would have made it one of the five biggest alb.u.ms of the year. The ongoing deflation of sales figures makes it difficult to find a corollary for how In the Life of Chris Gaines In the Life of Chris Gaines would have performed in the present tense, a.s.suming all the other factors were the same-I would estimate total sales of around 180,000 in the current climate. Maybe less. would have performed in the present tense, a.s.suming all the other factors were the same-I would estimate total sales of around 180,000 in the current climate. Maybe less.

4. Of course, it's entirely possible Brooks enjoyed enjoyed promoting things. Some people are like this. promoting things. Some people are like this.

1. Note: This does not work if the person whose name you can't recall happens to be named Jamie.

1. The spread offense was so culturally pervasive in 2008 that it briefly became a plot point in season three of Friday Night Lights, Friday Night Lights, undoubtedly the first time a prime-time TV show felt the need to respond to what was happening in major college football. undoubtedly the first time a prime-time TV show felt the need to respond to what was happening in major college football.

2. I feel like the addition of radios inside the helmets of NFL quarterbacks has been an overlooked innovation in how football embraces change. The Cleveland Browns invented QB radios in 1956, but they were banned until 1994. This legislation, along with the use of instant replay for officials, shows how football is unusually willing to let technology dictate performance. More conservative sports (like baseball or soccer) would fight such modernization tooth and nail.

3. I feel an obligation to note that it wasn't really Favre's fault that announcers were in love with him. But it kind of was, it kind of was, because Favre perpetuated it, too. He openly played to their girlish wors.h.i.+p. because Favre perpetuated it, too. He openly played to their girlish wors.h.i.+p.

4. As a senior in 1981, USC's Marcus Allen rushed for 2,432 yards in twelve games. This is both astounding and understandable when you watch tape of the Trojans from that season-it often seems like half of the offensive plays were simple toss sweeps over the right tackle (the so-called ”Student Body Right”).

5. This is especially significant within the context of football's traditional relations.h.i.+p with hierarchical control: Since the 1970s, much of football's fascist reputation had to do with the way offensive plays are dictated by the coaching staff, often from a press box a hundred feet above the field of play. The actual athletes sometimes seem like p.a.w.ns. But choice routes gave autonomy to receivers.

6. ESPN commentator Tom Jackson once called Martz ”The worst kind of idiot-an idiot who thinks he's a genius.”

7. Malzahn is now at Auburn.

8. Gillman introduced the idea of the vertical pa.s.sing game in the 1950s and '60s.

9. Bellard popularized the wishbone option at the University of Texas in 1967, having taken the idea from Charles ”Spud” Carson, a junior high coach in Fort Worth, Texas.

10. Coryell is the father of the modern pro pa.s.sing game, particularly with the San Diego Chargers in the early 1980s. He also changed the way people looked at collegiate talent: He won 104 games with the San Diego State Aztecs by almost exclusively recruiting from junior colleges.

11. Easy example: In the annual New York Times Magazine New York Times Magazine ”The Year in Ideas” issue for 2008, there was a brief examination of the Wildcat formation and the spread offense. The piece concludes with a dismissive quote from Aaron Schatz, a contributor to ”The Year in Ideas” issue for 2008, there was a brief examination of the Wildcat formation and the spread offense. The piece concludes with a dismissive quote from Aaron Schatz, a contributor to Pro Football Prospectu Pro Football Prospectus. ”Wildcat got crazy,” said Schatz. ”It's a silly fad, like leg warmers or parachute pants.” Time may prove Schatz correct, but his condescension ignores some irrefutable results. The year before Miami started using the Wildcat, they were 115; the next season, the Dolphins went 115 and won the AFC East. In 2007, Ole Miss went 39, so they fired their head coach and hired Wildcat innovator Houston Nutt; with almost identical talent, Ole Miss won nine games in 2008 and were the only school to defeat the University of Florida all season. Ole Miss ultimately beat Leach's Texas Tech in the 2009 Cotton Bowl.

12. Although some of them did become addicted to gambling and cocaine.

13. This refers to a defensive alignment that has three linemen and four line-backers. And if you didn't know that already, I am pretty f.u.c.king impressed you're still hanging with this. It should also be noted that certain NFL teams have succeeded wildly with the 3-4 defense even when it was unpopular, particularly in the AFC; Miami won champions.h.i.+ps with the 3-4 during the mid-1970s and Pittsburgh has used a 3-4 attack for more than twenty years.

14. Unlike the 4-3 or the 3-4, the name of the 46 defense does not indicate the number of linemen and linebackers who are on the field. The reason Bears defensive coordinator Buddy Ryan called this formation the 46 was because its effectiveness hinged on the play of Chicago strong safety Doug Plank, whose jersey number was 46.

15. Even Halberstam would ultimately concede that his '74 piece did not hold up over time: In 2001, he wrote a much more affectionate essay called ”How I Fell in Love with the NFL.”