Part 8 (1/2)
She should not push or try to climb; she should bide her time. In the meantime she might improve herself; she might study the piano, elocution or singing, and prepare for the day when opportunity will open the long-closed social door.
The Colored Woman Beautiful.
In spite of everything to be said on the subject the womanly woman is always the strongest magnet whether she is called beautiful or not.
If the colored girl has not been taught by her mother or guardian to train herself for a beautiful maturity even after she has pa.s.sed girlhood, it is not too late to train herself.
Good begets good, so she will exert herself to make a wide circle of friends altho she will be careful not to grow too intimate with any. She may be a real friend without undue intimacy.
It is conceded that most women ”must talk” to someone but too much intimacy means too much freedom and this often destroys friends.h.i.+p.
One cannot argue, quarrel, or criticize and still expect real friends.h.i.+p. One definition of a friend is, ”One you know all about and still like.” One should not try to ”make her friends over” and one never says disagreeable things to her friends nor does she make unfavorable comments about their personal attire or weaknesses. She lets her friends learn all unpleasant things from others. ”The links of the chain of friends.h.i.+p are held by a very delicate thread.” The tiniest word, doubt or action may sever the links.
The colored woman beautiful will try to love that she may be loved. She believes that ”man is his brother's keeper” and she has ideals and visions for the race. She has a moral obligation; she reaches out a helping hand to others. She can mix without being mixed. We can not help others unless we mix. There must be close contact--touch to lift up others.
The colored woman beautiful believes that everyone who gets up must pull up, or else she will be kept down by the weight of the racial burden.
Each one's welfare is closely bound with that of the ma.s.ses. The race as a whole must progress and prosper, or else no unit may prosper. The colored woman beautiful gives the best in her for race advancement. She works, thinks, and reads to be ready for the need of the tomorrow and its problems.
The colored woman beautiful will not carry ”chips on her shoulder,”
looking for slights and insults. If she carries the thought too strongly it becomes catching and someone will take up the idea. She will set into motion lesser vibrations in the minds and bodies of others and the things she imagines will happen.
She should resist thoughts of suspicion. She must not think about the things she wishes to keep secret, for thoughts are contagious.
The colored woman beautiful does not call another woman ”bad” just because she does not measure up to her ethical code. She must be so persistent in being good herself that everyone else seems to look and act good. If G.o.d loves the lowest, she can afford to do likewise. She follows the rule, ”Judge not that ye be not judged.” She does not make the mistake of criticising those who have not her strong will power, lest having stronger projection this unkindness may return swift and sure to her. To permit the absent to be disparaged or depreciated in her presence is almost as harmful to herself as if she had said things.
What is ”good” in (another) woman? What is ”bad” in (another) woman?
These are two difficult questions to answer and a woman must not judge by her own standard for herself. Women are inclined to be too narrow in their viewpoint in judging other women. While one may boast of her virtue of virtues some women may have a bundle of lesser virtues of which to boast. It takes more than one virtue to make a good woman.
Many women are unduly vain of their escape from the ”sin of sins” and some of these may have known no temptation.
When one notes how many good friends a so-called ”bad” woman may have, one wonders why it is. Those who understand the law of vibrations recognize that the woman has projected something of herself which has brought her a rich return in spite of her one weakness.
It is a terrible thing to be a bad example along any line to young girls, so every colored woman should try to conquer herself and live down any weakness or error. She should give out the best that is in her that she may be a good example to younger women. She lets the light of love and purity s.h.i.+ne in her face and transform it, and it will reflect in the faces of others and make her own soul the happier.
The Colored Wife Beautiful.
Married life is a co-partners.h.i.+p and the wife and husband pledge to mutual help, when they enter into the marriage contract.
If in their girlhood wives had only studied men instead of giving up all their time to so-called ”loving and courting,” there would not be so much dissatisfaction, heart-ache and complaint after marriage. A girl should try to select a man with control over himself, over his voice, his emotions, even the angle of his hat, and then she should practice control herself, until the two dispositions have become adjusted to each other.
The ignorant girl who marries is full of trust and inexperienced notions. The disillusionments of life seem to come too fast to suit the majority. Many young wives immediately become discouraged or desperate and fall out of the ranks by the wayside of the matrimonial highway, without trying to live up to their end of the contract, or even respecting their own vows at the altar.
”True loving is giving the best within us.” When we have company we give to them the best food, the best linen, the best china and silver-ware that we own. Yet to those we are pledged to love and cherish we give anything, and wonder why in return we have failed in receiving love and all that goes with it.
A divorce is a terrible ”something.” It is a blight to children and often means their ruin or the blasting of their future. If a woman has children she should try to endure her lot until they are grown. In the meantime she may prepare herself for a beautiful maturity and an entrance into the commercial world or another field of activity.