Part 30 (1/2)

”I'll never do anything to hurt you again,” Elise said.

”If everything you're saying is true, then prove it to me,” I said suddenly. What I was about to say was a risk, I knew, but I needed to know that Elise meant what she was saying to me.

”How?”

”You just said you wouldn't care if you lost your career because of me.”

”I did,” Elise said, ”but-”

”You know I'd never ask you to risk that,” I said. ”You know as well as I do that you belong in front of the camera, that's what you live for. I could never expect you to put all that in jeopardy for me. But I really don't think that you admitting to our relations.h.i.+p is going to harm your career, at least not over here.”

Elise started to speak but I hushed her. ”If you're willing to turn your back on LA because your agent wanted you to make a name for yourself by hooking up with nameless guys, then I think you're ready to come back to Portobello Road and be open about our relations.h.i.+p.” My heart was thumping out of control behind my ribs, my breath coming short and shallow as Elise and I stared at each other.

To my surprise, a slight smile tugged at the sides of Elise's mouth.

”I'm one step ahead of you,” she said.

”What do you mean?”

”I contacted some magazines,” Elise said slowly. ”All the big ones.”

”And said what?”

”Invited myself to be interviewed,” she said. ”Told them I had a scoop about my private life.”

”About...me and you?” I leant back and looked at her quizzically.

”No, about me,” Elise said simply. ”Your name doesn't have to come in-”

”But I want it to!” I interrupted. ”This is exactly what I want-openness about me and you.”

She reached out and took my hands in hers. ”Life's about being with the person who makes you laugh, who makes you happy, who makes you feel special, and that's what I'm going to tell them.” She dipped her head and looked up at me through her fringe. ”It's about being with the person you can't stop thinking about, the person who gives you a squishy feeling inside when you know you're going to see them,” she said. ”The person you can't imagine living without. The person you truly want to be with.” We held one another's gaze. ”I truly want to be with you, Holly, and soon the whole country will know that, too.”

I leant into her. I knew one more look from her was all that it would take.

”Sometimes it just takes someone to be an a.r.s.ehole before they realise what they've lost,” she said softly. ”And I have been.”

”Have been what?”

”An a.r.s.ehole.”

”You got that bit right,” I said, glancing at her, the hint of a smile on my lips.

”I've missed that, too.” She rested her head on my shoulder.

”Missed what?”

”Your smile,” Elise sighed.

My smile deepened. ”You'd do all that for me?” I asked.

Elise shook her head. ”I'd do it for us,” she said simply. ”Everything I've ever wanted in a person is sitting right here next to me. Everything.”

I rested my head on top of hers.

”You're funny and sweet and adorable and lovely and you're all I want,” she said, her breath fluttering against my neck. ”You're my Holly Eight-Year, do you know that?”

I raised my head away from hers.

”You mean that?” I asked.

”Every word.” She lifted her head off my shoulder and our eyes met, the look of complete love and longing on her face pulling me in to her, totally captivating me.

I let her take my hand, the feel of hers so warm and soft, making me feel safe again.

Slowly and tentatively she put her arm round my shoulder and pulled me to her. Her face was now millimetres from me, her warm breath on my skin, her lips almost touching mine.

”Please,” she finally said, her voice low and quiet. ”Just let me try again?”

Her words disappeared as my lips met hers. I was lost in her; the weeks of despair just drifted away as I kissed her back. I s.h.i.+vered as she slowly kissed me, the sensation of her tongue against mine sending tingles up and down my spine, and melted at the touch of her soft lips, her body pressed against me, her hand reaching up under my T-s.h.i.+rt and stroking my side as she kissed me, over and over again.

Finally, she pulled away and wrapped her arms tight against me again, as if she never wanted to let me go. I leant into her, Elise warm against me, her breath in my hair, all my feelings of love for her that I once thought I could ignore just flooding back again because they'd never gone away in the first place.

”I'm so sorry,” she said, her voice m.u.f.fled in my hair. ”You have no idea just how much I love you.”

”I do love you, too, Elise,” I said, tracing a finger up and down her arm. ”I've never stopped loving you.”

She cupped my face in her hands and kissed me again, softly and slowly. ”I've been such an idiot,” Elise said, kissing my face, my eyes, my hair, my forehead. ”Such an idiot.” She took my hands in hers and pressed them to her lips. ”No one else matters, Holly,” she said. ”All that matters from now on is us, and soon everyone will know just what you mean to me, too.”

She stood up, holding her hand out for me. I let her pull me to my feet and lead me over to my window. Elise stood behind me, her arms linked around my waist, her chin resting on my shoulder as we gazed out at the early evening lights flickering into life across London.

”My whole life's been one big act, Holly,” she said. ”I'm tired of trying to be someone I'm not, so this time, I'm playing it for real.” She softly kissed my neck. ”Are you with me, my little Holly Eight-Year?”

”Always, Elise,” I said. ”Always.”

Epilogue.

I settled back in the boat, the warmth of the wood, heated by the midafternoon sun, hot on my bare arms. Squinting up into the suns.h.i.+ne, I s.h.i.+elded my eyes with my hands as I watched the swallows quickly swoop and dive over the water's surface, which sparkled in the suns.h.i.+ne.

Idly dangling a hand over the boat's edge, I dipped my fingers in and out of the cool water and thought about everything that had happened to me over the last few months.

I was ridiculously, utterly, totally, absurdly happy.