Part 26 (1/2)
I walked towards the kitchen, briefly touching her hand as I walked from her. Poking my head in the fridge, I called out a number of options for dinner to Elise, who was now standing by my window in the lounge, gazing, as she often liked to, out across the sparkling lights over and across the river.
”So where did you go after I left today?” Elise called out.
I pulled two steaks out from the back of the fridge and, inspecting the eat-by date on them and seeing they were good for another two days, started to unravel the packaging.
”Just out.” I took the cellophane from the steaks and put it in the bin. ”What about you? Where did you go?”
”Are you sure you didn't go to a cat sanctuary?” Elise appeared behind me. She looped her arms round my waist and rested her chin on my shoulder. ”You're covered in hairs.” She dusted my front down, her chin still on my shoulder. ”On my hoodie,” she added, giving me a playful squeeze.
”That was Bella's gang.” I groaned, picking a few off my front and frowning. ”I lose count of the number of cats she has.”
”Bella?” Elise lifted her chin from my shoulder.
”Yeah,” I said lightly. ”I went to see her.”
”Today?” Elise's face darkened.
”Today,” I said, feeling Elise release me from her embrace.
”Right,” she said. She frowned. ”And you wore my hoodie to her house?”
”It's just a few cat hairs, Elise.” I flicked my hands over it. ”I'll wash it if it bothers you that much.”
”But she would have wondered why you were wearing my clothes,” Elise said, leaning against the kitchen unit, her arms crossed.
”Like Bella would know it was yours!” I snorted.
”She's seen me wear it at work.” Elise waved a hand to the front of it. ”It's quite distinctive, Hol.” She stared at me. ”She might have wondered why you were wearing it,” she repeated.
”Elise, it's fine.” I took a griddle pan from the cupboard and put it on top of the oven. ”It's just a hoodie.”
A long, awkward pause ensued.
”You told her, didn't you?”
My throat closed. ”About?”
”You know what about,” Elise said. ”Us.”
”No,” I replied, heat spreading from my neck up across my cheeks.
Elise didn't answer, instead she remained leaning against the unit. ”Did you?” she finally asked again.
For a moment, silence. Then, ”Yes, I did. I told her.” My stomach plunged the minute I'd said it. The immediate change in Elise's mood and the look on her face told me everything I already knew: she was furious with me.
”I said to you!” Elise flung her hands out. ”I specifically said not to breathe a word to anyone about this!” She stood in front of me, hands now on hips, face white with fury. She chewed angrily at her top lip with her bottom teeth, her jaw tight, her breath coming fast and short.
”But Bella's cool!” I said, hating to see Elise so angry. ”She won't say a word. She promised.”
”Oh, and that makes it okay, does it?” Elise glared at me, eyes blazing, waiting for me to answer.
”I don't see what the big deal is,” I said quietly. ”It's not like I announced it to the whole cast, is it?”
”You just don't get it, do you?” Elise started pacing the room, running her hands through her hair. ”The fact is I distinctly said I didn't want anyone knowing about me and you, yet you still went and blabbed about it!”
”I didn't blab,” I said feebly. ”Bella already knew. She's known for a long time.” I looked at Elise.
”She. Already. Knew?” Elise emphasised every word. ”Since when?”
”Ages,” I said. ”And she's never said a word to anyone, has she?” I jabbed at the b.u.t.tons on the oven. ”So quit stressing.”
”Terrific.” Elise wandered out of the kitchen and over to the lounge window.
”Don't go weird on me again, Elise,” I said. I came and stood just behind her, putting my arm round her shoulder.
”Don't,” she said. She took my hand and removed it from her shoulder, still staring coldly out in front of her.
I was stung by her reaction and stood, fuming. Elise frowned, evidently deep in thought.
I thought I'd try another angle. ”Would it really matter if people knew?” I asked quietly.
”Of course it would!” Elise sounded exasperated. ”Firstly, what do you think Kevin, Susie-s.h.i.+t, even Robbie!-would say if they knew?”
”I don't think they'd care,” I said truthfully. ”Kevin would probably be thinking about how it'd increase ratings.”
”f.u.c.k the ratings,” Elise spat, walking away from the window again.
”What!” I watched as she started pacing the room again. ”f.u.c.k the ratings? That's a new one, even for you.”
She didn't answer.
”When did you become such a hypocrite?” I demanded.
”Thanks for that.” Elise stared at me.
”I love you,” I said, stung by her stare, ”and I just needed to tell someone else that, rather than carrying it around with me like it's something I should be ashamed of.” A shock of realisation instantly went through me at my own words, and I suddenly understood everything. ”Is this what this is all about? Are you ashamed of us?” I said. ”This has got nothing to do with your career, has it? It's really because you're ashamed that you fell in love with a girl!”
That was why Elise was so furious. She was embarra.s.sed about being with another girl. She couldn't handle the fact she'd fallen in love, and it had been with me. Not with Robbie, or Stig, or Rory, or-heaven forbid-Pete, but me. Holly Croft. She'd fallen in love with Holly Croft-a girl-and she just couldn't hack it.
”I'm not ashamed,” Elise said. ”I told you a long time ago that this was all new to me, but you just seem determined to rush on ahead and tell people.”
”Not people, Elise, person,” I said. ”One discreet person.”
We stood, glaring at one another.