Part 20 (2/2)

But he wanted her to know that he took her worries seriously, that it wasn't only s.e.x he wanted, so he held back and listened.

”That's what I wanted to explain to you.” Her fingertips went from his lips to his jaw, rasping over his beard shadow. ”When I can't...can't react the way I should, I don't want you to think that reflects on you.”

She couldn't be serious. ”So if I get mine and you don't get yours, it wouldn't be my fault?” By sheer force of will, he kept the disbelief from his expression. ”That's what you're saying?”

”I'm saying I can't seem to do...that, no matter what. So you wouldn't be to blame. There's just something broken in me.”

”Yvette-”

”You need to understand up front, so you won't be disappointed.”

So she'd made up her mind that they would be together? Knowing she'd climax, because he'd ensure it, he said, ”You could never disappoint me.”

”So far I've disappointed every guy I've ever been with.”

Yeah, not something he wanted to think about. ”You already told me I'm different.”

Her smile was sad and fleeting. ”And because of that, I'd still enjoy being close to you, being...with you. So if you want-” she stared him in the eyes ”-I'm willing.”

Willing? But not anxious. She hoped to be a sacrifice.

Screw that.

”What I don't want,” she continued, ”is for you to think if you try hard enough, if you're patient enough, it'll make a difference. I'm sorry, but I can't go through that again. It makes it even more frustrating.”

The words sank in. I can't go through that again. ”Spell that one out for me.”

With two fingers she anxiously toyed with a loose lock of hair that had escaped her braid. ”I dated guys who were c.o.c.ky enough to think they only had to finesse things a little more and I'd miraculously launch into a screaming climax.”

He stiffened. ”How many guys are we talking about?”

Defensively, she said, ”I was trying to find one that'd work!”

He laughed, but he sure as h.e.l.l wasn't amused.

Insulted, Yvette started to push off his lap.

Immediately he regretted his reaction. ”I'm sorry.” He held on, and when she continued to shove at him, he said again, ”I'm sorry! Swear.”

An inch from his face, she snarled, ”It is not funny.”

”No, it's not.” He ran his hands up and down her arms in apology. ”That was more a sound of jealousy than humor anyway.”

”Jealousy? Get real.” Still irked, she poked at his chest. ”You're the one who was with five women earlier.”

His brow went up. ”Not with them. Don't say it like that. I was just talking to them. Don't confuse me with Armie.”

At that she did a double take. In an appalled whisper, she asked, ”Five? Seriously? I mean, I know he's out there, but-”

”I was exaggerating.”

Somewhat disappointed, she said, ”Oh.”

”Back on track now, okay?” He eased her against him, arranged her the way he wanted with her snuggled close. And she went along with it, her head in the curve of his shoulder, her long legs draped over the side of his thigh.

”You tried with these other guys, but it didn't work out?”

”We had s.e.x. It was...okay. But I didn't...”

”Come.” He couldn't imagine what it'd be like to go through the motions but never find release. ”Did you tell them about your past?”

”No. I've never discussed that with anyone.”

”Not even Heath?”

”He knows only the basics, what was in the news. He knows that you saved me. But that's it.” She released a sigh. ”I've never been comfortable talking about it with others.”

Only him. He hugged her for that. ”So they thought... what?”

”One guy said I wasn't trying hard enough.”

What an idiot.

”Another a.s.sumed I wasn't s.e.xually attracted to him. He decided I must be into women instead.” Her hand tightened in his s.h.i.+rt. ”A couple didn't care enough to worry about it.”

d.a.m.n, but hearing that felt like another punch. He didn't resent her for seeking pleasure. She was young, healthy, beautiful. But now that she was back, now that he was with her again, he wanted her only with him, and vice versa. ”Even though you don't come, you enjoy s.e.x overall?”

”To a point. But it does get frustrating.” She tilted back to see him. ”Heath said I should at least fake it, pretend for his sake, but I couldn't do that.”

Jesus. ”Heath is a f.u.c.king idiot.” No, he didn't want her faking anything. He wanted the real deal, and he'd get it.

No doubts at all.

”In his defense, he was patient for a very long time. And he tried, far more than the other guys did.” She wrinkled her nose. ”It's just-”

Cannon put his fingers over her mouth. G.o.d almighty, the last thing he wanted to hear was s.e.x stories about her and Heath. ”Did he-did any guy-know he was on a tryout?”

”I don't know what you mean.”

Time for more plain speaking. ”You said you were trying to find a guy that'd make it work.”

She rolled in her lips. ”G.o.d, that sounds so awful, doesn't it?”

No, it sounded desperate. ”All women are different, honey. Some get off easy, some don't. Some like things slow, some rough. Maybe you just haven't found your way yet.”

She listened, her eyes wide, her cheeks warm.

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