Part 14 (1/2)

Finding his voice, Alex deepened it. ”I'm mad at me, not you.” He stalked across the room, knowing he needed calm before handling Cutter's cutting.

”Yes, sir.”

Storm and Uli rushed to comfort Cutter, but Alex stepped in front of them. ”No, he's got issues and he needs help dealing with them, but this was pure thoughtlessness on his part. Don't reward him. He was selfish. He wasn't thinking of either of you or me.” Alex cupped Storm's and Uli's faces and pressed a soft kiss to each of their mouths. ”This is going to be difficult. Take care of each other while I take care of Cutler.”

Uli and Storm nodded their agreement, but their indecision showed on their faces. ”I got this. Promise.” This was everything he prepared for but hoped he'd never have to implement so seriously. He ambled over to the fridge in the corner and concentrated on his breathing.

”Anyone else need water?” After the others shook their heads, he slowly drank the water. He wasn't thirsty, but he concentrated on the cool liquid flowing down his throat. His anger at not recognizing the signs of how Cutter might handle the stress of the evening dissipated.

He touched the face of Uli and finally Storm. He lingered with Storm for a moment because the man leaned into his hand as if admitting his need. Alex smiled briefly.

Alex listened to his boots click on the floor. He was a head taller than Cutter. ”Tell me, did the clinic fail completely, or was this a slipup?”

”I don't know.” The honest desperation tore at Alex's heart.

”Do you want help?” After an eager nod, Alex explained, ”You'll work with a therapist?”

”Um, a...”

Storm burst out, ”Do it, Cut.”

Uli added a soft ”Please. For us.”

Alex stopped any further pleas. ”No, he can't do this for us. He needs to do it to for himself. Do you want this for you, Cutler?”

”I want to...but sometimes everything feels so big...” Cutter's hair covered his face as his eager nod turned into a shrug of what appeared to be learned helplessness.

Alex tugged the long-sleeved s.h.i.+rt up over both of Cutter's elbows. ”Take a good look. You don't deserve this. Do you?”

Cutter stared up at him with tears in his eyes.

”You will not treat our mates like this ever again.” No more. ”When you can't handle the stress and feel like hurting yourself, come to me. I'll give you what you need.”

Cutter s.h.i.+vered, but his eyes heated.

”Eventually, we'll alter your need from wanting to be hurt to wanting to use the pain as a method to fly.” Alex circled Cutler once, taking in every part of his distraught mate. ”I don't want you hurting yourself. You'll give me that control.”

Cutter s.h.i.+fted as he groaned. ”Yes, Alex. I want that.” He exhaled and transferred his gaze to his other two mates. ”I'm sorry.”

Uli opened his mouth to say something but Storm kissed him quiet.

”Undress, Cutler. My anger and frustration have subsided. First, you'll get your pain, but I'll take you past your misery to a better place.”

”Yes, sir.” With trembling hands, Cutter took off everything, folded each piece of clothing carefully, and set them on the chair.

”Very nice, Cutler.” His little mate beamed with the praise. ”Over to the bench.” Alex directed him to a padded bench with a hole cut out.

”Sir?” Cutter asked as he pointed to the flat surface.

”Put your shaft through the opening.” He'd gotten more comfortable using non-clinical words to describe male parts, but he still had to work on his terminology. This was not the time to practice or to be unsure. Alex guided Cutter over the bench so he was straddling the leather bed. Cutter lay forward to push his c.o.c.k through the hole as he straightened his legs.

Alex checked on his other mates. Uli and Storm were off to the side watching the proceedings while holding each other's hands.

”This won't be like the birthday spanking.” The event seemed so long ago, but barely a day had pa.s.sed. ”You'll get far more than twenty-one spanks.” Alex meandered over to the cabinet. He opened the door and ran his fingers over each implement in turn. The strength of all the other Doms who'd used this room seemed to cling to the objects of pleasure/pain. After careful consideration, he chose a simple but painful device.

He strutted back over to the bench, allowing his training, study, and hard work to give him the confidence he needed to begin exchanging Cutler's dependence on cutting to other coping mechanisms through therapy and support. Then they would be free to explore BDSM without his self-injurious habit warping the experience into something less than positive. Alex slapped the crop against his own leg, making Uli jump and Cutter wince. Ah, but they'd learn.

”Ready?” Alex asked.

”Yes, sir.”

Alex answered Cutter's agreement by the first slap of leather.

”No!” Uli yelled, as if he were being struck.

Inhaling and exhaling slowly, Alex put a hand on Cutter's back. ”I'm sorry for the disruption, Cutler.” Then he turned toward Uli who was being held back by a resolute Storm. ”Uli, honey.” Gently he stroked the man's soft cheek. ”I must do this. Cutler is desperate for me to tend to him. I need you to let me.” Though the blond's teeth were clenched, a slight head nod was given. Alex studied Storm for a moment before directing him. ”Storm, please distract Uli pleasantly so I may give Cutler what he needs.”

He removed his hand from Cutter's back and traced the single stripe across both b.u.t.t cheeks. Many more needed to be placed before they finished.

”Oh,” Uli groaned. Apparently Storm was distracting him properly.

”We shall begin again.” Alex raised the crop and bought it down. Cutter hissed, but thrust his a.s.s back up.

”Yes, Alex.” The barely audible words were mumbled in moan.

At a distance, Alex heard buckles being unlatched and clothing hitting the floor. A pocketful of change jiggled before pinging out to roll across the room. Moans, kisses, and grunts were all far away from Alex.

He concentrated on his bucking submissive and aiming to catch the unmarked flesh at a precise point. Alex drank in Cutter's response to the crop, to the rhythm, and to the Zen of las.h.i.+ng someone to the point of rapture. He could see Cutter's erection stretching well past the opening in the bench. Cutter thrust as if seeking enough friction to get off.

Alex couldn't have that. He rested the crop on Cutter's back and trailed it up until he was standing next to his head. Noticing the change in position, Cutter peeked up, eyes glazed and lips parted in blatant invitation.

Any dominant would have trouble not responding to such an overture. Alex ran a finger over Cutter's lips and they instantly parted to suck his digit inside. Cutter's mouth was hot, wet, and the suction was superb. Alex's erection pressed into his zipper, but he ignored his own needs in favor of his sweet sub.

”Look at them.” His voice cracked. Storm leaned against the wall, his jeans carelessly around his ankles, hand guiding Ulrich's head up and down on him.

Cutter moaned. Storm's eyes opened and his gaze locked onto Cutter's. It seemed to make him groan. He began to thrust into Uli's mouth with more urgency. Cutter squirmed and f.u.c.ked the opening that would never give him the relief he craved.

”What do you want, Cutler?” Alex asked, emphasizing his full name.

His answer was to arch his back and wiggle his a.s.s.

”You want satisfaction?” The words were accompanied by a particularly cutting strike. When no answer came, Alex swung again. ”Do you?”

Cutter danced in obvious pain but was seeking pure undiluted discipline. ”Yesssssss. Please, Alex.”

Alex kneeled. He wrapped his fist around Cutter's rampant erection and stroked. He delivered another slash of pain. ”I'm going to tell you when I want your completion. Be ready.”