Part 5 (1/2)
”Beg me again.” He was in charge, and he wanted the admission from Ulrich.
Uli inhaled sharply. ”Please, Alex. Please put the machine on me.”
The excitement of power raced up Alex's spine. ”Why?”
Desperation growing, Uli trembled. ”Please, Alex. I want you to milk me.”
Yes. That's right. Uli wanted him.
Alex longed to hear Uli's soft begging. When Uli accompanied the words with a soft whimper, Alex rewarded him. The machine descended under Alex's jurisdiction, pulled Ulrich's c.o.c.k into its depths, and sucked him.
”Come with me, Alex.” Uli turned pleading eyes on him, but Alex wasn't ready yet.
Instead, he watched the machine drive Uli to the edge. Each time, Alex lowered the intensity on Ulrich's tube right before he crossed over into o.r.g.a.s.m. A disappointed groan followed the decreased suction, reinforcing Alex's sense of power. Only then did he oil his erection and insert it in the tube. Still, he was more intent on Ulrich's pleasure than his own o.r.g.a.s.m.
He turned the dials slowly, controlling Uli's experience. Knowing neither of them could last much longer, he finally granted Uli the powerful sucking he needed. His own body was already poised to o.r.g.a.s.m.
But he had to witness Ulrich's pleasure first. Alex rotated the dial to fluctuate the stimulation. When Uli babbled and lost coherence, Alex cranked the k.n.o.b and let nature take its course.
Uli cried Alex's name as he fed the machine. When his body stopped writhing, Alex shut down Uli's tube.
Dreamy eyes opened to stare at Alex. Uli's voice dropped to a purr. ”So good. Alex.”
He had done that. Alex satisfied the man he loved.
He turned his own k.n.o.bs to gradually increase the suction. Alex was on edge, and when Uli cuddled into him with a blissful murmur, Alex shot everything he had left into the machine and let it milk him dry.
Sighing, he turned off the machine to find Uli curled up next to him. The angelic expression suggested he'd fallen asleep. Alex's heart nearly burst with emotion as he watched over Uli. He'd never felt so right in his own skin before.
Chapter Four.
Cutter allowed himself to sink into the plush chair. His ran his hands over the suede, making designs of lighter lines before pus.h.i.+ng the fabric forward to turn them back to navy. The therapist's decor coordinated with the chair in shades of soothing blue, even the Ikea desk in the corner and its matching bookcases. Though few books adorned the shelves, the good doctor displayed incense burners of every shape and size.
”So, Cutler, tell me... How are you doing?” When he remained silent, Dr. Cohen pressed. ”You've been here half the summer and will be leaving us shortly...”
Taking slow, deep breaths, Cutter resolved to play the game and get the h.e.l.l out of here. He needed to get a job and an apartment. He had no intention of living off Storm's family money. He'd known he'd never get the chance to go to college, but he figured once Storm stopped f.u.c.king around and picked one of the two schools holding a place for him, Cutter could get a job in the same town.
Staying near Storm had been the only concrete plan in his world, but now there was Uli to think about. And, well, Alex.
The doctor cleared his throat.
s.h.i.+t. Cutter needed to speak.
”I think we identified why I cut.” He barely restrained the eye roll. Life pretty much sucked. His mother died of cancer. His f.u.c.ked-up father was inattentive at best and abusive when he noticed him. Eventually a well-intentioned guidance counselor called the Child Protective Services, which swept him into the foster care system.
And in that system he had remained. His father didn't care enough to get him back.
”Have you talked to Ethan?”
”You mean Storm. Yeah. Storm visits every night.” Despite himself, he smiled. Storm hated his given name, and in the beginning of tenth grade, he refused to answer to Ethan. Storm was born. Cool, smart, hot, and completely out of Cutter's league. Even when Ethan renamed him with a less stuffy name for Cutler, a name change didn't matter; Cut was still the same kid everyone pitied.
The doctor gave him a pointed stare before scratching something on the yellow pad perched on his lap.
Cutter didn't want to rehash his tragic little teenage heartbreak. It was too cliche for words: gay boy in love with his straight best friend gets rejected. Though in his case, there was nothing straight about Storm except his long dark hair. Still, he wasn't surprised Storm didn't want him. Cutter wasn't cool or good enough to be Ethan's boyfriend, let alone Storm's.
”Would you like to persist in avoidance, or can we actually accomplish something this session?”
”Sure, Doc. Don't get your tightie-whities in a bunch.” He'd heard Storm use the wisecrack more than once, getting him suspended from school on two occasions. When a defense was needed, striking with humor was usually a good course of action.
”Have you talked to Ethan to gain closure?”
Cutter's sigh and crossed arms made the therapist write more on the notepad.
”It's closed.” d.a.m.n. Cutter uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, trying to show how open he was to the process. He could play psychological ring-around-the-crazy better than anyone. He'd had more than enough practice.
Whether he was open or not really wasn't important. Getting the h.e.l.l out of here became the goal. He was a prisoner and he had things to do.
”Then why do you think you haven't you had any other relations.h.i.+ps?” The doctor flipped through his pad. ”There was one guy you said you liked.”
Hopefully, this little disappearing trick didn't cause Uli to lose interest.
Thumb on a yellow page, the doctor paused and scanned down with his finger. ”Yes, right. Uli. Am I p.r.o.nouncing his name properly?”
”Yes.” The thought of Uli made blood rush into Cutter's c.o.c.k. ”Ulrich or Uli. He says Ulrich's old-fas.h.i.+oned but I think it's unique. I just met him a few months ago.”
In an annoyingly neutral voice, the doctor asked, ”And how do you feel about that?”
”Fine. He's a nice guy.” Why did Alex's image pop into Cutter's mind too whenever he thought of Uli? Why did he feel drawn to Alex and Uli while still in love with Storm? No doctor could fix the screwed-up things in Cutter's head.
Dr. Cohen checked his notes before peering over his gla.s.ses at Cutter. ”But the relations.h.i.+p has not turned physical.”
”Not yet. Nope.” Cutter laughed. ”Geez, give a man a chance.” He pushed out of his head the image of four bodies entwined and tangled in pleasure.
The d.a.m.ned doctor honed in on the question Cutter asked himself. ”You don't think you're holding out hope that Ethan will change his mind?”
Yes. ”No. Of course not, being shot down once was enough.” Though every day that ended without Storm throwing him down on a flat surface and having him was reinforcement of the rejection.
Flipping to the first page, the doctor skimmed the notes with his finger and removed his gla.s.ses to shoot Cutter a penetrating stare. ”You were together once. Do you think anything about that experience has stopped you from moving on?”
Not wanting to bulls.h.i.+t an answer the therapist wouldn't accept anyway, he reached below the surface. ”He was my first. I was his. He's my first love.”
”Still?”
f.u.c.k yes. Cutter shrugged. ”Well, I'm not in love with anyone else.”
Or at least he wasn't going to attach labels to what he felt for Uli. Besides, if he loved the German expat, he wouldn't find Alex so freaking alluring. Though, everyone at the club wanted Alex, so maybe his confusion was normal.