Part 16 (2/2)
”And you're hoping to reconnect with him?” Bethanne asked.
Ruth nodded. ”We had a...nasty falling-out, so I'm a bit apprehensive.”
”Oh, Grandma, he's probably just as excited about getting together as you are.”
”Do you really think so?”
Ruth's question was so sincere and charming that Bethanne wished she could lean over and hug her.
”So it's been years and years since you last saw him?” Annie asked.
”Oh, yes...so many that I can hardly believe it. I heard he lost his wife a few years back, and Richard's gone, and, well, I hoped... Oh, I don't know, other than that this would give me the opportunity to resolve things between us. We parted on such bitter terms.”
”Does he realize you're coming to the reunion?”
”I...I don't know.”
”Are you going to fall in love all over again and marry him, Grandma?” Annie teased.
”Annie,” Bethanne chastised. ”Come on. Don't put your grandmother on the spot like that.”
Ruth twisted around to look at Annie. ”Honey, remember we haven't seen each other in over fifty years and-and there's a lot we have to say.”
”Can't you say it on the phone?” Annie asked. ”You should call him.”
”Call him? When?”
”Now. Or before you show up at the reunion, anyway.”
”I don't think I can do it,” Ruth murmured, pressing her palms against her cheeks. ”What I need to tell him-well, it's the sort of thing I'd rather do face-to-face.”
”Oh,” Annie said as though she understood. ”You loved him, right?”
”Yes. Very much. And then I met your grandfather and...everything changed.”
”Do you still love Royce?”
”How could I possibly know? I was eighteen when we dated. He came from a poor family, and my father never really approved of our relations.h.i.+p. In retrospect, I know Daddy only wanted the best for me. He liked Richard and, well, it was such a long time ago....”
Ruth was so quiet all of a sudden that Bethanne glanced in her direction, shocked to see tears making wet tracks down her cheeks.
”Ruth,” she whispered. ”What is it?”
Shaking her head, Ruth buried her face in her hands and started to weep in earnest.
”Grandma?” Annie leaned forward, touching her grandmother's shoulder.
”What is it, Ruth?” Bethanne asked softly. Whatever it was must have to do with Royce.
”You don't understand,” Ruth managed between sobs.
”We will if you explain it to us,” Annie said in a gentle voice.
Ruth shook her head again. ”I don't know if I can face Royce after what I did to him.” Ruth's hands trembled and she took a gasping breath. ”I hurt him deeply.”
”Ruth, you were young. I'm sure he's gotten over it.”
Ruth refused to make eye contact. ”He might have, but I'm not sure I ever can.”
Annie handed Ruth a tissue, which she clenched as if it were a lifeline.
”We promised to love each other and be true...” she choked out. ”That's what we called it back then-being true.” She closed her eyes.
”And...you weren't?” Bethanne probed.
Ruth looked down at her purse, winding the strap around her hand. ”I went to a party with friends soon after I got to college. I'd never drunk anything stronger than beer. Someone brought vodka and mixed it with orange juice and gave me a gla.s.s. I remember how good it tasted and I had more of them...and the next thing I knew, I was necking with this boy and I didn't even know his name.” She tried to stem the tears, swiping at them with the crumpled tissue. ”I told him I needed to get back to my dorm and he offered to walk me there. He seemed friendly and nice, and when we arrived, I let him kiss me again.”
”Ruth, you were on your own for the first time,” Bethanne said. She found it painful that after all the years, her mother-in-law still couldn't forgive herself for a youthful indiscretion.
”Grandma, so what if you let a boy kiss you?” Annie said. She rubbed her grandmother's shoulder with soothing strokes.
Ruth continued in a ragged voice. ”I told him I already had a boyfriend and...and he said that was fine.”
”Did you see him again?” Annie asked.
”I couldn't help it. We were in the same history cla.s.s. We talked after the lecture a couple of times and went for a c.o.ke. He was always nice to me. I wouldn't let him kiss me again and he respected that. I wrote Royce every single day but I never told him about Richard.”
”Richard?” Bethanne repeated, stunned. That was Grant's father.
”Yes. Then one night we attended another party. He and I went together. I thought I'd be all right because I was with Richard, but someone gave me a spiked drink and we...we-” She paused and once more hid her face in her hands. ”We made love in the backseat of his car and a few weeks later I realized I was pregnant.”
”Oh, Ruth.” Bethanne looked away from the road long enough to rea.s.sure her mother-in-law that she was the last person who'd think badly of her. How strange that they should be having this conversation, which was probably the most serious and honest of their entire relations.h.i.+p, while driving down the freeway.
”Richard took the news like a gentleman.... He said he loved me and would marry me. But we hardly knew each other and I hadn't even told Royce I'd met anyone else...and then I had to tell him I was marrying another man and that I was pregnant-and all of this happened while he was still in basic training!”
”Ruth, my poor Ruth...”
”Oh, Grandma, how awful for you.”
”I broke his heart,” Ruth said with finality. She gazed at Bethanne, her tears drying as she resumed her story. ”He said if I could be unfaithful so soon after leaving home, I wasn't the person he thought I was. He said he was happy to be rid of me.”
Again Bethanne looked away from the road. ”I'm sure he didn't mean that. He was speaking from his pain.”
Ruth went on as if she hadn't heard. ”Richard was a good husband. We were both determined to make the best of the marriage, and we did, but through the years...” She hesitated. ”I often wondered what might've happened if I'd stayed home that night instead of going to the party. I wonder if Royce and I would eventually have married.”
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