Volume 3 Chapter 0 (2/2)

She had rolled off. She was collapsed on the floor. A girl in a red…yes, a b.l.o.o.d.y dress was squirming on the floor with her legs and b.u.t.t pointed our way, but she was down on our eye level now. If her rusty silver hair swayed and she turned this way, she would see us below the bed!!

Go away.

Just leave.

Don't worry about what's behind you!

Don't ask any weird questions and just leave!!

The red-stained dress writhed as her fingers and toes kept slipping in her own pool of blood.

She's not…standing up!?

Is it all over!?

But the Cla.s.s Rep did not move. She remained silent and kept holding my garlic head to her chest.

The girl moved.

She must have decided standing up would be too much effort because she dragged her red-stained body along. I could hear the sound of dragging wet cloth. She made her way to the room's door, stuck her slender fingers through the gap, pushed it open, and entered the hallway headfirst.

I couldn't move for a while.

I seriously thought I would find the b.l.o.o.d.y dress girl smiling back from just outside the door the instant we relaxed and crawled out from below the bed.

The Cla.s.s Rep must have been the same.

She did not move out from the bed, but she did whisper to me.

”(Looks like she's gone.)”

”(C-Cla.s.s Rep? What was that???)”

When I asked that far-too-obvious question, the Cla.s.s Rep relaxed her shoulders just a bit and answered.

”(I thought you would know more about those than me, Satori-kun.)”

I was confused, so my childhood friend continued.

”(A vampire. I don't know why, but she seems to be wandering around this abandoned hospital, the old Peace Committee Convalescent Hospital.)”

With that, some things clicked into place.

Although there were still plenty of questions, like why the Cla.s.s Rep and I were in that abandoned hospital and why I had turned into a garlic head. But most of the signs…no, symbols seemed to fit together.

We had an extremely large stage.

I had the Cla.s.s Rep as a flag I could not afford to lose.

We had the vampire as an absolutely powerful foe.

And there was the garlic.

…Wasn't that one of the most famous weaknesses of vampires, right alongside sunlight and crosses?

”M-Maxwell!! These settings are all messed up! It's bugged to h.e.l.l! Have I been thrown into some surreal game s.p.a.ce where I have to play as a goat or a slice of brea-…mgh!?”

”Shh! Can you not learn, Satori-kun!? Make too much noise and she'll come back!!”

I had discovered a new rule: make a lot of noise and the Cla.s.s Rep would unconditionally hold me tightly to her chest. But if I went too far, we would encounter that b.l.o.o.d.y dress girl. Don't set up death traps in such weird places!? Are you a monster!? Sniff, sniff!!

And the desperately roleplaying Cla.s.s Rep had more to say:

”Also, Satori-kun. I don't think there's much point in bringing up Maxwell now. Our phones don't have a signal.”

Wait, hold on.

My mind was growing blank, so there was one thing I had to ask before I all-out panicked.

Wait, wait, wait!!

”C-Cla.s.s Rep…?”

”What is it, Satori-kun?”

”Th-this is some bizarre game s.p.a.ce created by Maxwell, my disaster environment simulator, right? I mean, how else can you explain that I'm garlic, that we're in an abandoned hospital, and that

there's an invincible monster in a b.l.o.o.d.y dress!?”

Are we on earth? I had thought it was as simple a question as that. There was only one possible answer.

But an awkward silence followed. It might not have actually lasted even a full second, but it felt horribly out of place like a slight lag in an otherwise smooth video.

And her words delivered the final blow.

”What are you talking about?”

Ah, ahhh…

Am I in real trouble this time!?

Maxwell: My user's second form and an anti-Archenemy biological weapon with especially powerful effects against vampires. Incidentally, its sterilizing properties mean it is viewed favorably by Miss Ayumi, the zombie who uses so many preservatives on a daily basis.

Garlic comes in a variety of forms, but in my user's case, it appears to have eight cloves. However, the garlic is extremely large, it can roll on its own, and it rapidly grows further bulbs while buried in dirt. None of this can be explained using the traits of the normal perennial plant of the Liliaceae family, so is this silhouette really garlic…?

The most famous vampire weaknesses are sunlight, a wooden stake, and garlic. There are actually plenty of others, such as fire, sacramental bread, holy water, silver weapons, etc., but I think those three are the ones most people will think of.

Compared to sunlight and a wooden stake, garlic does not seem very holy or powerful and it even seems kind of silly, but if you read the world's most-famous vampire novel which is somewhat biased about blood transfusions, you will find that garlic is used as a convenient tool. Not only does a necklace made from garlic flowers keep the vampire away, but it is also used to protect a home. And it seems the actual hunters use it in similar ways.

As an additional note, the idea that vampires immediately turn to ashes when exposed to direct sunlight is only found in later movie adaptations. The novel only has the vampire weakened during the day. And driving a stake through the heart is not absolute; after the stake, you have to chop off the head and stuff garlic in the mouth.

…The vampire Archenemy we will be seeing today actually does turn to ashes in sunlight and dies instantly from a stake through the heart. Discussing that can get into ”chicken or the egg” territory, but garlic is still a necessary component when facing them. Any who mock the old traditions will find themselves in tears later on.

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