Part 9 (1/2)
”Only from his fortress. Never from his influence.”
He traces his fingers along the twenty-nine holes in his shoulder, making me wonder again what Raiden did before number thirty. I ask a more important question instead. ”How did you get away?”
A smug smile twists his lips. ”Raiden's greatest weakness is that he has no weakness.”
”What does that mean?”
”Exactly what it sounds like. His fortress has more security than anyone could ever need and none all at the same time. Once I figured that out, getting away was easy.”
I try to make sense of his riddle, but it's far too vague to tell me anything useful.
”Why are you so interested?” he asks, narrowing his eyes. ”Planning a friendly visit to Raiden?”
”I'm not planning anything. But there's always the possibility that he could find me.”
”Not if you're with me. I know how to keep Raiden away- something you can thank me for when you're done mooning over your lost beau. I must say, I'm rather surprised I felt no trace of him coming to rescue you. I figured he'd be racing here as fast as the winds can carry him, and I was looking forward to thwarting his daring rescue. Are you two having a lovers' quarrel?”
”He knows I can take care of myself.”
”Yes, you're doing a smas.h.i.+ng job.” He hisses a command, and the greenish winds tighten around my chest. My lungs burn and my vision clouds, but just before I black out, Aston releases me. ”That ought to get his attention. Unless an incomplete bond isn't strong enough to feel that kind of thing.”
”What?” I ask when I've stopped hacking and coughing. ”Please, I've felt your essence. I know you held part of yourself back.”
”I have no idea what you mean.”
”Don't you?” He grabs my chin, twisting my face from side to side. I try to hold his gaze, but my eyes keep going back to his scars. Without them he would probably be handsome.
”Interesting,” he whispers.
”What?”
”I can see why he wanted you.”
His thumb brushes my lower lip and I jerk my head back. ”Oh, relax. I only meant it as a compliment.”
Maybe he did. But the way he's staring at me makes my skin itch. He whispers something that makes everything inside me stir, and I brace for whatever pain is coming. But it lasts only a second before he falls silent and the sensation fades.
”Feels like he didn't hold back with you. You were the only one who had doubts.”
I don't know what he wants me to say.
”Wow, you really don't know, do you?”
I glare at him and he laughs, rubbing his chin like he's deep in thought. It makes a vile, hollow sound.
”Let me ask you this,”he says after a second.”When you were”- he puckers his cracked lips-”was there a little voice in your mind telling you it was wrong?”
”Of course.”
Mostly my head was a blur of burning heat and wanting more and trying to take in every single detail.
But I still knew that what we were doing was forbidden. He taps my nose. ”And that, right there, is why your bond isn't complete. It's mostly there,” he adds as I clutch my chest, trying to feel what he feels. ”But there's a slight separation. Perhaps because some deeper part of you knew you really wanted someone who makes up for what he lacks in flesh and blood with a charming smile and lightning-fast wit.”
He winks at me and I swear my skin actually crawls. ”Oh, fine, you don't have to look so disgusted. But it seems like a rather telling thing, don't you think? Loverboy happily gave all of himself to you. And yet you couldn't fully surrender to him.” ”That's not-I just . . .”
I don't know why I'm explaining this.
I'm not even sure if I believe him.
But if he's right, I never wanted to hold back. I love Vane more than I've ever loved anything, and if my guilty conscience affected something when we kissed, it was an accident. One I will be correct ing when I finally get home.
My lips burn just thinking about it.
Though . . . that's a.s.suming Vane will even want me. I abandoned him.
Left him to deal with the Gales and my mother and the mess of problems we should've been facing together.
I wouldn't blame him if he hates me now.
I certainly hate myself.
”Can Vane tell that our bond isn't . . . ?”I can't seem to say it out loud. Aston smiles and shakes his head. ”You know, I've threatened your life multiple times and you barely batted an eye. But the slightest mention of boy troubles and you get all weepy?”
I want to tell him I'm not going to cry, but my eyes are burning.
I do my best to blink the tears back.
”Oh, cheer up. Even if he can tell, I hardly doubt he's running off to break your bond.” He laughs as I frown. ”Don't tell me you still foolishly think that bonds can't be broken?”
His question swells inside my mind, refusing to sink in. I can't believe it.
I won't believe it.
Aston sighs.
”Honestly, haven't I taught you anything?” He points to the row of twenty-nine symmetrical holes in his shoulder. ”Everything can be broken, Audra.”
CHAPTER 15.VANE.
I.
've been on some pretty awkward first dates in my life-most of which were epically ruined by Audra in her chaperone-from-h.e.l.l days. But meeting The Girl I Canceled My Betrothal To with half the Gale Force watching definitely wins the prize for Most Ridiculously Uncomfortable Moment in the History of Uncomfortable Moments.
I mean, what do they think I'm going to do? See how hot Solana is and drop to one knee, begging her to marry me after all? Or maybe we're just supposed to make out right here.
Not gonna happen.
Though she is hotter than I expected, I'll give them that. And the tiny yellow dress she's wearing, hugging every curve-and there's quite a lot of curve on display-is a nice touch. But when I look at her all I think is: no.
Just . . . no.