Part 1 (2/2)

This, at least, is my thesis. It is not, however, unchallenged. Jonathan has challenged it when, from time to time, as occasion offered, I have lightly sketched it out for him. Sometimes he argues that my instances are really isolated cases and that their evidence is not c.u.mulative, at others he takes refuge in a _tu quoque_in itself a confession of weaknessand alludes darkly to top shelves and bottom drawers. But let us have no mysteries. These phrases, considered as arguments, have their origin in certain incidents which, that all the evidence may be in, I will here set down.

Once upon a time I asked Jonathan to get me something from the top shelf in the closet. He went, and failed to find it. Then I went, and took it down. Jonathan, watching over my shoulder, said, But that wasnt the top shelf, I suppose you will admit.

Sure enough! There was a shelf above. Oh, yes; but I dont count that shelf. We never use it, because n.o.body can reach it.

How do you expect me to know which shelves you count and which you dont?

Of course, anatomicallystructurallyit is one, but functionally it isnt there at all.

I see, said Jonathan, so contentedly that I knew he was filing this affair away for future use.

On another occasion I asked him to get something for me from the top drawer of the old high-boy in the dining-room. He was gone a long while, and at last, growing impatient, I followed. I found him standing on an old wooden-seated chair, screw-driver in hand. A drawer on a level with his head was open, and he had hanging over his arm a gaudy collection of ancient table-covers and embroidered scarfs, mostly in shades of magenta.

She stuck, but Ive got her open now. I dont see any pillow-cases, though. Its all full of these things. He pumped his laden arm up and down, and the table-covers wagged gayly.

I sank into the chair and laughed. Oh! Have you been prying at that all this time? Of _course_ theres nothing in _that_ drawer.

Theres where youre wrong. Theres a great deal in it; I havent taken out half. If you want to see

I _dont_ want to see! Theres nothing I want less! What I mean isI never put anything there.

Its the top drawer. He was beginning to lay back the table-covers.

But I cant reach it. And its been stuck for ever so long.

You said the top drawer.

Yes, I suppose I did. Of course what I meant was the top one of the ones I use.

I see, my dear. When you say top shelf you dont mean top shelf, and when you say top drawer you dont mean top drawer; in fact, when you say top you dont mean top at allyou mean the height of your head. Everything above that doesnt count.

Jonathan was so pleased with this formulation of my att.i.tude that he was not in the least irritated to have put out unnecessary work. And his satisfaction was deepened by one more incident. I had sent him to the bottom drawer of my bureau to get a shawl. He returned without it, and I was puzzled. Now, Jonathan, its there, and its the top thing.

The real top, murmured Jonathan, or just what you call top?

Its right in front, I went on; and I dont see how even a man could fail to find it.

He proceeded to enumerate the contents of the drawer in such strange fas.h.i.+on that I began to wonder where he had been.

I said my bureau.

I went to your bureau.

The bottom drawer.

The bottom drawer. There was nothing but a lot of little boxes and

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