Part 19 (1/2)

CHAPTER XVIII.

A BETTER LIFE.

You may have seen an old print of t.i.tus's Arch, in the foreground of which is an Italian lady of quality, with hoop, lappets, and fan, sailing to church, attended by her gentleman-usher. A stately man-servant in advance clears the way, two ladies-in-waiting follow their mistress at a respectful distance, and two or three more menials close the procession.

Something in this style did Giulia go to the cathedral. As she was returning from it one evening, accompanied by Valdes, her heart was full, and, after one or two ineffectual beginnings she said--[15]

[15] Vide ”Alfabeto Christiano.”

”I have so much confidence in our friends.h.i.+p, Signor Valdes, that I feel as if I could speak to you on some subjects even more freely than to a confessor. If you are not pre-engaged, therefore, I would gladly tell you what is on my mind. Do I importune you?”

”On the contrary, Signora,” said Valdes, ”I am honoured by your commands, and you well know there is no one I love better to serve.”

”A truce, then, with compliments of every kind. I want to open to you my whole heart, for I am sure you will pity me. I am a prey to such constant dissatisfaction with myself and with everything around me, as cannot be described. I neither know what I wish, nor with what I should be contented. Hence, I cannot conceive anything that could be offered me capable of appeasing this inquietude and removing my confusion of mind.

Many years have I felt thus: and of late you have given me reason to hope that if I would give ear to the preaching of Ochino I should be tranquillised. Alas, I find it quite otherwise! And though I admit that the fault may be mine rather than his, yet the disappointment is so bitter, that tears frequently come into my eyes through not knowing what to do with myself, nor what to lean upon.”

Saying which, her tone was so sad, and she looked so troubled, that the humane Valdes was filled with compa.s.sion.

”Say freely, Signora,” said he, ”whatever you wish to ask of me; and be a.s.sured that I will always expend in your service all that I know and am able to do.”

”Tell me, then,” said Giulia, ”from what cause you believe this state of mind to spring, and how, if possible, it can be remedied, or whether it must be borne.”

”You must first make me one promise,” said Valdes.

”What can that be?” inquired the d.u.c.h.ess.

”If I show you the way by which you may be relieved from your disquietude, you must promise to walk in it.”

”Of course. Gladly!”

”Be very attentive, then, Signora, to what I am about to say. You know it is written that man is made 'in the image and likeness of G.o.d.' And you will also remember that St. Paul counsels the Corinthians to put off the old man with his deeds, that is, the sinful nature we have all inherited since the fall, and be clothed with the new man, who is created 'in the image and likeness of G.o.d.' From this it appears, that in such a degree as man retains in himself the image and likeness of G.o.d, in the same degree he apprehends and appreciates spiritual things in a spiritual life and conversation. Recognise this, and you will all at once perceive whence your disorder and disquietude of mind arise; because you will see that your soul is striving for rest.i.tution to the image of G.o.d, of which at present it is deprived. The remedy is in your own hands.”

”In my hands?”

”Yes! Because as soon as you determine to renew and restore within yourself the image and likeness of G.o.d, you will find peace, quiet, and repose.”

Giulia drew a deep breath, and then said--

”How must I do this?”

”By withdrawing your affections from vain and transitory things, and fixing them on those which are spiritual and eternal. Your spirit thus finding its proper aliment, will always be content and cheerful, and here in this present life will begin to taste of that felicity which it expects to enjoy for ever in the life eternal. To this happiness only the real Christian can attain.”

”As for that,” said the d.u.c.h.ess, ”I know many persons who have as much, and perhaps more, cancelled the image of G.o.d than I have, who are yet perfectly content and happy.”

”Such persons,” returned Valdes, ”have low and vulgar minds, and can therefore suffice themselves with mean and frivolous objects that could never satisfy a refined and generous nature like yours.... I am not at all sorry that you should be troubled in the way you have described, because it shows that the preaching of the Gospel is producing its first effect on you.... There is nothing in this world that could give me so much pleasure as to see you walking in the path of life, for I hold it for certain that, once in complete union with G.o.d, you would outstrip many who are now saints in heaven.”

”I desire to do so,” said she, softly.

”Then why don't you do what you desire?” rejoined Valdes.