Part 27 (2/2)
”I beg your pardon?”
”However selfish you were before getting rid of Peter Jones, you were at least considerate and apologetic. Genuinely. Or so you seemed.”
”I said I was sorry about forgetting. You're upset, and you're basing your criticism on that.”
”No, Matthew. That's exactly what I'm talking about. This new way you're behaving. You say you are meeting with 'Harrell' - whatever happened to 'William,' your friend?”
”He's not my friend, Greta. He's a business partner.”
”Oh, of course. Pardon me. And is that what we are too, Matthew?
Business partners?”
He shook his head as if to say he'd had enough. In fact, she thought, that was what was wrong, that he'd had enough of them, of the dead end that their marriage had turned into.
With an disgusted huff she poured herself more of the good French wine, held the gla.s.s beneath her nose and she gazed out the window at the reflecting pond beyond the foot of their estate.
”Maybe, Matthew, we should talk. Don't you think, especially since tonight is our anniversary, that we should talk? What's happened to us?”
”Dear, I can't,” he said, pausing to wash down a mouthful of food with a swallow of wine. ”I'm going to be up until six in the morning as it is. And I've got an early flight. I'll just be able to jog and shower.”
He ate and she drank in silence for a few minutes, until she could stand it no more.
”Matthew, is it going to stop? Is it going to change? Ever?”
”What, honey? Will what stop?”
Any remorse he may have felt for forgetting their anniversary was obviously gone now she could see, forgotten with everything else, as if a switch had been thrown, his mind saturated once again with his work. ”Matthew, do you understand that you are obsessed with Wallaby? Really, you are worse than Peter ever was.”
”It's not an easy job,” he said, wiping a piece of bread in the last smear of sauce on his plate. ”Replacing him.”
”We never see each other anymore. Even when you two had your falling-out, you saw him more than you see me now. Every morning you're up at five-thirty, then you're at work all day, and I never talk to you - ”
”Meetings.”
”Then you come home and gobble down your dinner, barely a word between us, or if you do have anything to say it's about that d.a.m.n company, then you're off into your library until late at night until you come to bed and fall asleep.” Her breathing had become panicky.
”Look, I've got to do my job,” he said, irritated now.
She leaned forward with her hands flattened on either side of her full plate. She didn't care that her gloved left hand was there for him to contend with. Maybe that was the problem, that she had never really forced him to deal with it.
”Matthew, I'm all alone. You're all I've got. It's not that I mind being here all day, but when you come home, it's worse because then you're here but we're still not together, and on the weekends, like today, you work all day in the library.”
She intended to force him into battle if that was what it took.
But what he did next completely disarmed her: He placed a hand over hers, the left one, and met her eyes with compa.s.sion. She felt suddenly hopeful. She had finally gotten through to him.
”Greta,” he said gently, ”everything I'm doing is for us. The things I'm making happen at work are very complex and important, and these things will change our lives forever.” He patted her hand and smiled. ”Soon it will slow down a little,” he said, tossing down the rest of his wine.
But his words sounded shallow and condescending. Her hopes of understanding disintegrated and the throb in her left hand returned with renewed force. She s.n.a.t.c.hed her gla.s.s and finished her wine in one quick swallow. She poured another. Was there no way to get through to him? To make him see how close he was coming to destroying them? ”Matthew, it's ruining us, and you're letting it happen.” Nothing. She went for broke. ”Don't you see, I'm trying not to let anything bad happen to us.”
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