Part 37 (2/2)
”You like your surprise, Missy Caroline?” Gilbert asked shyly.
”Yes,” she said through her tears. ”It's the most wonderful gift anyone ever gave me.”
”Oh no, honey,” Tessie said, hugging her. ”You're the one who gave the gift to us.”
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Spring 1865 Caroline closed the newspaper and folded it carefully, resisting the urge to crumple it up and toss it into the kitchen fireplace. The paper on which it was printed was of such poor quality that if she didn't handle it carefully there would be nothing left of it for the others to read. But Tessie, sensitive to her moods, noticed her frustration.
”Guess it ain't good news you're reading this morning?”
”No. It's the worst. The peace negotiations at Fortress Monroe have ended in failure. President Lincoln demanded unconditional surrender, and of course, the Confederates refused. They're still insisting on 'the preservation of their inst.i.tutions'-meaning slavery.”
”Lord have mercy!” Esther said. ”Don't them Rebels know it ain't doing them no good to fight for slavery if all us slaves starve to death first?”
”The other big news,” Caroline continued, ”is that the Confederate Congress is considering a law to conscript slaves.”
”You mean, make them fight in the army? For the South?” Tessie asked in amazement.
”Yes. The paper says that General Lee has been begging for such a law for a long time because he needs men so badly. Thousands of his troops have gone home on furlough and have never come back. He can't possibly defeat General Grant this spring unless he gets more men.”
Tessie shook her head in amazement. ”So they gonna put slaves in uniforms and give them guns? Ain't they afraid we gonna turn the guns around on them?”
”I guess not. It shows how determined the South is to keep fighting-and how desperate they are.” Caroline remembered how shocked and outraged the South had been when they'd first encountered Negro soldiers who were fighting for the Federals. Now that they'd seen how well the Negroes could fight, they were about to draft them into the Confederate army, too.
”They ain't gonna take Eli and Gilbert, are they?” Ruby asked.
Caroline shook her head. ”They can't draft anyone without his owner's consent. And I'll certainly never give it.”
”Maybe they both be better off in the army,” Esther muttered as she mixed up a skimpy batch of corn bread. ”Maybe they finally get a decent meal if they soldiers.”
”No, I don't think the soldiers are eating any better than we are,” Caroline said. ”One entire page of the newspaper was a notice from the Commissary General along with a plea from General Lee, begging people to turn over any extra food supplies they have to the army so they can feed the starving soldiers.”
Esther huffed. ”Like we got anything extra to hand over!”
When it was time for the noon meal, Eli arrived home. Caroline had sent him downtown that morning, and she was eager to hear any sc.r.a.ps of news he had picked up through the servants' grapevine. Since she had been confined to her home all these months, the grapevine had become her only source of news about Charles and his family.
”I saw a whole bunch of Rebel troops pa.s.sing through the city this morning,” Eli said after he'd blessed the food. ”They heading south. I tell you, if it wasn't for all them white faces, I'd swear I'm seeing a gang of slaves going by on the way to the cotton fields. They so sorry-looking, all in rags, shoes falling off their feet, heads hanging down . . . and the horses nothing but skin and bones.”
”Did you talk to any of the St. Johns' servants?” Caroline 398 asked.
Eli lowered his head, concentrating on his plate of food as if he hadn't heard. That could only mean one thing-he had bad news that he was unwilling to share. Caroline laid down her fork.
”Tell me, Eli. Please. Don't you understand that not knowing is worse torture for me than hearing the truth?”
When he still didn't reply, Esther said, ”Tell her. That gal ain't gonna eat a bite of food unless you do.”
Eli sighed. ”Ma.s.sa Charles has gone on back in the army to fight.”
Caroline closed her eyes. For a moment the room went utterly still. Even little Isaac seemed to sense everyone's shock and didn't make a sound.
”Has Charles fully recovered from his wounds, then?” Caroline asked when she finally opened her eyes. She had to stare at Eli for a long time before he replied.
”His shoulder still stiff, and he limping some, but he determine to fight. He arguing with his daddy 'cause his daddy want Ma.s.sa Charles to stay home-but Mr. St. John too sick to stop him. That's all I know, Missy. That's the truth.”
Caroline excused herself and fled to her room. It was all for nothing, It was all for nothing, she thought. In a few weeks it would be spring, and the war would resume, and this time she had nothing left to offer G.o.d in return for Charles' life. She had bargained away her future with him so that Charles would live. But now he was going back to the trenches outside Petersburg again, where he might very well be killed. The Rebels would surely lose this war, and then her sacrifice- and Charles' life-would both have been spent in vain. she thought. In a few weeks it would be spring, and the war would resume, and this time she had nothing left to offer G.o.d in return for Charles' life. She had bargained away her future with him so that Charles would live. But now he was going back to the trenches outside Petersburg again, where he might very well be killed. The Rebels would surely lose this war, and then her sacrifice- and Charles' life-would both have been spent in vain.
She stood gazing out of her bedroom window, s.h.i.+vering in her unheated room, when she heard a voice behind her. ”Missy Caroline . . .” She turned, astonished to see Eli standing in her doorway. Except for the night Robert had escaped, he had never dared to come into the big house unbidden, much less come upstairs to her room. It showed Caroline, more dramatically than anything else could, just how much her world had changed.
”Missy, I know you ain't gonna like hearing this . . . but you got to put Ma.s.sa Charles in G.o.d's hands and trust Him, no matter what.”
”Why did he have to go back to fight?” she cried. ”I gave G.o.d the only thing I had left-my future with Charles-so that He would allow him to live. But my sacrifice will all be for nothing if Charles goes back there again and gets killed.”
Eli frowned as he took a few hesitant steps into the room. ”You telling me you try and make some kinda bargain with G.o.d?”
”Yes. That's why He answered my prayers and allowed Charles to live.”
”No, Missy . . . no,” he said, shaking his head. ”That ain't the way G.o.d does things. You can't barter and haggle with Him like He's a vendor down in the farmers' market. He let Ma.s.sa Charles live 'cause He have a purpose in him living, not 'cause you give Him something for it. You really want a G.o.d like that? Someone you can control and order all around-whoever gives G.o.d the most gets what they want? That the way you want Him to run the world?”
She thought of all the people, North and South, kneeling in their churches, praying for two opposing favors from G.o.d. ”No . . .”
”Then let Him run things the way He knows best, according to His will. Trust Him, Missy. Trust that everything you done for Him and everything you gave up for Him has a purpose. G.o.d will give it all meaning in the end. When this war is finally over, things are gonna be the way He wants them to be-in Ma.s.sa Charles' life, in my life, and in your life, too.”
---- The fighting began in earnest at the end of March. Word quickly spread all over town that a battle was raging at Fort Stedman, outside of Petersburg. For the first time since the war began, Caroline couldn't go to the Enquirer Enquirer office to listen for news or to look for Charles' name on the casualty lists. All of her slaves could read, but she didn't dare send any of them to read the lists and risk discovery. She could only live in an agony of uncertainty, praying for Charles' safety, waiting for the lists to be printed in the newspapers. office to listen for news or to look for Charles' name on the casualty lists. All of her slaves could read, but she didn't dare send any of them to read the lists and risk discovery. She could only live in an agony of uncertainty, praying for Charles' safety, waiting for the lists to be printed in the newspapers.
There was another battle at Five Forks on April 1. The Yankees drove the Confederates from their defenses southwest of Petersburg, taking the Southside Railroad, strangling Richmond's last remaining supply line.
”No one talking about licking the Yankees anymore,” Eli reported from his trip downtown that afternoon. ”They talking about leaving town any way they can.”
”It's almost over,” Caroline murmured. ”Seems like we've waited so long for this day to come, and now that it's finally here . . . I'm scared, Eli. What on earth is going to happen to us? People have always predicted that the Yankees would run wild through the city once they captured it, raping and murdering . . .”
”Now, you know Gilbert and me ain't gonna let no Yankees come near this house. We got your daddy's pistols, and we certainly ain't afraid to use them if we have to.” But Caroline was finding it harder and harder to sleep at night.
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On the following morning, Sunday, April 2, the sun dawned so warm and bright that Caroline could almost believe that the Yankees were camped nine hundred miles from Richmond instead of a mere nine. Nothing disturbed the Sunday calm except the tolling of church bells as Eli went downtown to try to find out the latest news. When he finally returned home, a little before two o'clock, he made everyone gather around the table in the kitchen, even though dinner wasn't quite ready.
”Word's all over town that Lee's army is in trouble. The Yankees broke through our defenses in three places and things are falling apart fast 'cause he ain't got enough men to fight the Yankees off. General Lee send a message to President Davis while he sitting in church this morning, saying that he and everybody else better get on out of Richmond.”
”Are you certain that it isn't just a rumor?” Caroline asked. ”Because they've said the city was in trouble before, and the warnings were always false alarms.”
”No, this time I think the Yankees really are coming. Ain't nothing to stop them if Lee retreats with his men. And that's what he's fixing to do.”
”What should we do?” she asked the people she loved, gathered all around her.
”Best thing is to pray,” Eli said, ”and ask G.o.d what He thinks.”
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