Part 3 (1/2)

-How do you know it works?

-Irrelevant. Let me put it to you this way: there's nothing viral about these new forms of communication, of social interaction, Marcus. The kids don't need better, they need or at least want new. A virus mutates and adapts to survive, but most of these virtual mutations will not survive. Which is not Darwinian, because n.o.body really understands that you can't apply the evolution of species to the evolution of ideas. Apples and pomegranates. Did you know there's a networking site called s.p.a.cebook? It's just for potheads. And Tracebook. That's for stalkers. These networks will target groups more and more specific until everyone has his own network to which he alone belongs. It's inevitable.

-I'm not sure ...

-Thus, therefore, ergo, the chief virtue of Pandemonium-well, okay, one of its chief virtues-lies in its adaptability. Like any good parasite, we can s.h.i.+ft from delivery service-IM, Skype, Twitter, Fluxus, Squeak, Trap Soul Door-to delivery service, ping-ponging all over the 3G spectrum. Undetectable as love, we go where you go. We follow the action. And in so doing, we become the action.

-Exactly how much c.o.ke did you do before meeting me?

-This is my brain not on drugs. Scary, right?

Marcus looked at Guy over the rim of his upraised gla.s.s. -What a waste of a mind.

-You stole that line from Dad.

-He said that?

-Right, because it doesn't sound like anything he would say.

-Great minds ...

-...come to the same facile and entirely flawed conclusions. Is, I believe, the phrase you're groping for.

Marcus sighed, shook his head. -I say again: how do you know it works?

-How do you know anything works? I mean, there's still people, and I'm on the fence about this one, who insist the moon landing was staged on a back lot here in Los Angeles, that there's no proof. The beauty of any new concept is that proof is in the eye of the beholder. Remember when that electric two-wheeled thingy was supposed to revolutionize urban transportation, solve all our congestion problems, get rid of pollution, etcetera?

-Yes. The Segway.

-Yeah, well, there were a lot of very smart people who bought into that idea in the secret prototype phase. Very smart and very rich people, I might add. And not a single one of them stopped to think, Yes, okay, it works, but won't anyone on one of these things look incredibly gay?

-How is that applicable to your project?

-It's like you're not even listening. You want another one? Guy signaled to a pa.s.sing waitress.

Marcus nodded yes and tipped back his gla.s.s, the halfmelted ice clacking against the rim.

-You're not going to give me the money, are you?

-No. In the first place, I don't even understand the name. Why Pandemonium? That's not a name that says ”safe investment” to me.

-Wrong. I mean right, but wrong. The VCs I'll be talking to don't want safe. They're desperately afraid of missing out on the next big boat, and they don't care if it's the t.i.tanic, because that was, let's face it, a historic boat, a boat people will always remember, even before the movie. In any case, the name's just a come-on. It doesn't mean anything specific. It just gives a sense to potential investors that something new is going to happen.

-Why would I pay simply for novelty?

-You wouldn't, Marcus. None of the Marcuses you've ever been your whole life would ever pay for that. Just like you'd never pay for s.e.x.

-You don't know that.

-Have you? Ever?

-Not yet. But just because something hasn't happened yet doesn't mean ...

-Stop playing really-annoying-grad-student for one d.a.m.n minute.

-I'm not ...

-I know. I was making a point. Jesus, it's like you've never heard anyone but yourself talk.

-Sorry.

-There's a lot of people, an awful lot, who have paid for s.e.x. Who do pay for it. Who will continue to pay for it. It's a multibillion-dollar business. Bigger than movies and music and every other form of entertainment on earth combined.

-I'm not sure that's true.

-It doesn't matter if it's true. We're not selling s.e.x. I'm making an a.n.a.logy. Our pitch is that Pandemonium is better than s.e.x.

-Who's ”us”?

-See this? This is an imaginary stick. You've just grabbed hold of one end of the imaginary stick. You know which end? The wrong one.

-What's the difference? It's imaginary.

-Everything is imaginary, Marcus. Everything that's worth anything. Pandemonium is worth more than you can imagine, precisely because it's imaginary.

-I'm confused.

-Confusion is s.e.x.

-What?

-Nothing. Obscure rock music reference. Couldn't help myself.

-That's the trouble with you, Guy. You have no selfdiscipline.

-And the trouble with you, Marcus, is that you have nothing but self-discipline. There's no goal. No purpose. You keep at it and at it, you're dogged and determined and all those dreary adjectives, but toward what end?

-Now who sounds like a grad student?

-Touche, a.s.shole. Last chance: you going to lend me the money or not?

-I'm leaning toward not.