Part 42 (1/2)

”Yes, yes,” said the Father, ”I see quite plainly how it has been. He was like tinder, ready to take fire at a spark, and you were thinking I had been hard and cruel and in-human.”

It was the truth; John could not deny it; he held down his head and was silent.

”But shall I tell you why I refused that poor boy's pet.i.tion? Shall I tell you who he was, and how he came to be here? Yes, I will tell you.

n.o.body in this house has heard it until now, because it was his secret and mine and G.o.d's alone--not given me in confession, no, or it would have to be locked in my breast forever. But you have thrust yourself in between us, so you must hear everything, and may the Lord pity and forgive you and help you to bear your burden!”

John felt that a cold damp was breaking out on his forehead, but he clinched his moist hands and made ready to control himself.

”Has he ever spoken of another sister?”

”Yes, he has sometimes mentioned her.”

”Then perhaps you have been told of the painful and tragic event that happened?”

”No,” said John, but something that he had heard at the board meeting at the hospital returned at that moment with a stunning force to his memory.

”His father, poor man, was one of my own people--one of the lay a.s.sociates of our society in the world outside. But his health gave way, his business failed him, and he died in a madhouse, leaving his three children to the care of a friend. The friend was thought to be a worthy, and even a pious man, but he was a scoundrel and a traitor. The younger sister--the one you know--he committed to an orphanage; the elder one he deceived and ruined. As a sequel to his sin, she lived a life of shame on the streets of London, and died by suicide at the end of it.”

John Storm put up one hand to his head as if his brain was bursting, and with the other hand he held on to the Father's chair.

”That was bad enough, but there was worse to follow. Our poor Paul had grown to be a man by this time, and Satan put it into his heart to avenge his sister's dishonour. 'As the whirlwind pa.s.seth, so the wicked are no more.' The betrayer of his trust was found dead in his room, slain by an unknown a.s.sa.s.sin. Brother Paul had killed him.”

John Storm had fallen to his knees. If h.e.l.l itself had opened at his feet he could not have been stricken with more horror. In a voice strangled by fear he stammered: ”But why didn't you tell me this before?

Why have you hidden it until now?”

”Pa.s.sions, my son, are the same in a monastery as outside of it, and I had too much reason to fear that the saintliest soul in our Brotherhood would have refused to live and eat and sleep in the same house with a murderer. But the poor soul had come to me like a hunted beast, and who was I that I should turn my back upon him? Before that he had tramped through the streets and slept in the parks, under the impression that the police were pursuing him, and thereby he had contracted the lung disease from which he suffers still. What was I to do? Give him up to the law? Who shall tell me how I could have held the balance level?

I took him into my house; I sheltered him; I made him a member of our community; Heaven forgive me, I suffered myself to receive his vows.

It was for me to comfort his stricken body, for the Church to heal his wounded soul; and as for his crime, that was in G.o.d's hands, and G.o.d alone could deal with it.”

The Father had risen to his feet, and he spoke the last words with uplifted hand.

”Now you know why I refused that poor boy's pet.i.tion. I loved him as a son, but neither the disease of his body nor the weakness of his mind could break the firmness of the rule by which I held him. I knew that Satan was dragging him away from me, and I would not give him up to the sufferings and dangers which the Evil One was preparing for him in the world. But how subtle are the temptations of the devil! He found the weak place in my armour at last. He found you, my son--you; and he tempted you by all your love, by all your pity, by all your tenderness, and you fell, and this is the consequence.”

The Father clasped his hands at his breast and walked to and fro in the little room.

”The bitterness of the world against religious houses is great already; but if anything should happen now, if a crime should be committed, if our poor brother, clad in the habit of our Order----”

He stopped and crossed himself and lifted His eyes, and said in a tremulous whisper: ”O G.o.d, whom have I in heaven but thee? My flesh and my heart faileth; but G.o.d is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

John had staggered to his feet like a drunken man. ”Father,” he said, ”send me away from you. I am not fit to live by your side.”

The Father laid both hands on his shoulders. ”And shall I lower my flag to the enemy like that? There is only one way to defeat the devil, and that is to defy him. No, no, my son, you shall remain with me to the last.”

”Punish me, then. Give me penance. Let me be the lowest of the low and the meanest of the mean. Only tell me what I am to do and I will do it.”

”Go back to the door and resume your duty as doorkeeper.”

John looked at the Father with an expression of bewilderment.