Part 21 (2/2)

Having always led an active life, confinement to bed in utter loneliness during the day, except for a call now and again from a sympathetic colleague, soon began to pall. So I dressed and went out to discover Dr.

Ascher. He did not upbraid me for so flagrantly disobeying his orders, as I had been antic.i.p.ating, but exhorted me with all the powers of persuasion he could command, to take the utmost care of myself. In order to give me something to occupy my mind he attached me to a few other invalids, who were also on ”pa.s.s,” to light work in cleaning out the hospitals for the recruits who were evidently coming to Sennelager within the near future.

Cleaning hospitals might be officially described as light work, but it was far from being so, although this was not the fault of the doctor but of our far from amiable Commandant. The tables, beds, chairs and other portable fixtures had to be taken into the open air to receive a thorough scrubbing with water and soft soap. We were given buckets, and were compelled to walk some distance to draw supplies of water from the pump, to which place we also had to repair to throw away the dirty liquid, so that we were a.s.sured of an exacting load upon both journeys.

The guard supervising us in this work was a despicable young cub. He was short and stubby. By the way I must relate that this individual ill.u.s.trated one of the weird turns of the Wheel of Fortune as revealed by the war. I have already referred to F---- K----, who had accompanied me from Wesel prison to Sennelager. What was F---- K----'s amazement to discover, upon entering the camp, that this man, who formed one of the guards, had been one of his own van-men before the war. It was a remarkable instance of the reversal of positions. The erstwhile van-man was now the top-dog and he did not hesitate to extract endless amus.e.m.e.nt and delight from ordering the prisoners, among whom was his former employer, to despicable duties and hara.s.sing them right and left.

I had one bout with this impertinent little bounder which I do not think he will ever forget. It was the result of exasperation and was precipitated upon the spur of the moment with subsequent disastrous results.

I was carrying a bucket of water back to the pump to throw away and to secure a fresh supply. As I approached the pump, which was near an adjoining field, and over the fence of which some young girls were leaning talking to the sentry, I saw that they were having some fun at my expense. I resented this laughter and merriment, more particularly as I was feeling very seedy.

The guard, to parade his a.s.sumed authority before the girls, drew himself to the full height of his fifty-four inches or thereabouts, threw out his chest, and as I was about to empty the bucket, roared in stentorian tones:

”Take that back again!”

”But I am going to fill the bucket with clean water!” I protested.

”Did you hear what I said? I told you to take it back again!” to which he added an afterthought which I did not understand, but which induced the girls to burst out laughing afresh with mad glee.

I ignored his instructions and was about to turn out the dirty contents.

My temper somewhat ruffled by illness and now very hasty was rising rapidly. He moved forward and thundered:--

”Cannot you obey orders? Take it back again, I tell you!”

I picked up the bucket as if to comply and stepped back a pace or two.

Then lifting it up I shouted back,

”I'll see you d.a.m.ned first!”

With these words I hurled the contents over him. The water was filthy.

It caught him full in the face and smothered him from head to foot.

He was so surprised at this unexpected sequel to his arrogant order that he merely stood still, spluttering and cursing. Then he grabbed his rifle. At the same moment I threw the bucket itself at him, catching him a nasty blow on the shoulder. The girls who had been laughing at me now chaffed the discomfited sentry unmercifully. Foaming with rage and swearing terribly he lowered his rifle to run me through with the bayonet.

It was madness to argue with a bayonet in the hands of an infuriated German sentry. I turned and fled. Being long of leg, thin, and agile, I ran with the swiftness of a hare while my pursuer being short-legged and thick-set came trundling after me like a cart-horse. I tore towards the hospital, vaulted over the chairs and tables, and darted in and out, with the sentry, now beginning to blow hard from his unusual exertion, hot on my trail. In my mad rush I upset some of my companions, but they, instantly guessing something unusual was afoot as they caught sight of my flying coat-tails and the heavy-footed soldier chasing me, at once entered into the spirit of the fun.

L----, our humorist, was one of the party. Jumping on a table he commenced to yell frantically:

”Sennelager Derby! What's the odds? Twenty to one on Mahoney! Go it, Tubby! Christopher, but you'll never stay the course!”

The cries were taken up by the other fellows and excitement grew furious, which only served to exasperate my pursuer still more.

I was flying for dear life. I knew very well, if that sentry got within bayonet reach of me, that my days were ended. He was seeing red with a vengeance. Round the hospital, over the tables and chairs, I dashed as if bereft. I was looking for the doctor. I had long since learned that in the event of a disagreement with a sentry it was wise to be first beside the ears of authority and to relate the incident. The first version, whether from guard or prisoner, was almost certain to be believed.

Once as I came tearing round the hospital calling for one of the medical officers, L---- and his companions, now emulating the frenzied language and manners of racecourse frequenters, and forming field gla.s.ses with their hands, were bawling at the tops of their voices.

”Tattenham Corner! Hooray! Mahoney wins!”

At that moment I ran full tilt, not into Dr. Ascher as I had hoped, but against a young military doctor. I almost upset him in this spirited desperate obstacle race.

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