Part 38 (2/2)
”You heard about the Maistre?”
She let her fingers drop away. ”I heard. I just couldn't believe it at first. I still can't believe that he's... he's gone.”
”Your disguise-”
”Has fooled everyone but you, Jagu. Even Gauzia, though for how long I can keep deceiving her, I'm not so sure.”
”I can see that you've dyed your hair, but how have you managed to change the color of your eyes?”
”Jagu, I haven't changed anything. She's She's done it all.” done it all.”
His expression altered, black brows drawing together in a frown. She hadn't realized till then how much she had missed seeing that familiar expression of disapproval. ”So I'm not speaking to Celestine, but to her guardian spirit?”
She forced a laugh. ”Of course it's me. But you must remember to call me Maela.”
He gave a little shake of the head, as if he had tasted something unpleasant. ”You know why I'm here?”
”Old times' sake? Because you really wanted to see me?” She couldn't resist the barbed little taunt. ”My guess would be that you've been sent to arrest me.”
A slight hint of color darkened his pale face and he looked down at the floor.
”And you believed that I'd willingly go back with you to Francia to stand trial? A trial with only one possible outcome? You can't be naive enough to think that Visant would pardon me?”
He began to shake his head. ”I-I don't know what I believed. I only know that I wanted to see you again.”
”How touching.” She sat down in front of the mirror and began to wipe the greasepaint from her face. But his words had had touched something deep within her, a buried memory of a feeling never completely acknowledged. But it was not the time to be swayed by nostalgia. Jagu was still a member of the Commanderie, and her enemy. As she checked her reflection in the gla.s.s for remaining traces of rouge, she caught a glimpse of him watching her, his dark eyes clouded, brooding, unreadable. And she felt a sudden unease. touched something deep within her, a buried memory of a feeling never completely acknowledged. But it was not the time to be swayed by nostalgia. Jagu was still a member of the Commanderie, and her enemy. As she checked her reflection in the gla.s.s for remaining traces of rouge, she caught a glimpse of him watching her, his dark eyes clouded, brooding, unreadable. And she felt a sudden unease.
Have I misread you, Jagu? Does your vow to the Commanderie count for more than your feelings for me?
She wanted to be honest with him. She owed him that, at least. She laid down the rouge-smeared cloth and turned to face him.
”Jagu, I like being Maela Ca.s.sard. I never knew before that I had a gift for opera. But every time I go out onstage, it feels like... like coming home.” She reached out, taking his hands in hers, gazing pleadingly into his eyes. ”I love everything about this life. Do you understand what I'm saying?”
”You want me to go back to Francia without you.” He looked down at her hands, still clasped around his own. He seemed to be struggling with his feelings. But this was Jagu, and she was asking him to lie. She felt his fingers tighten around hers. ”Hugues Donatien is Grand Maistre. He and Visant are changing the Commanderie, and not for the better.”
”Then why go back?” Her voice dropped, knowing that she was suggesting something he might find treasonable. ”Ruaud is dead. Start a new life here, Jagu. The Muscobites love music. With your gift, you could easily make your reputation here.”
”But my vow. You're suggesting that I break my vow.” His fingers tightened again until they were almost crus.h.i.+ng hers. ”And how long do you think I could keep my ident.i.ty a secret? I haven't got a guardian spirit to change my appearance.”
”Does your vow to the Commanderie mean so much to you?”
He s.n.a.t.c.hed his hands from hers. ”I-I can't believe I'm hearing you speak this way. I thought you knew me, Celestine. I thought I knew you too. Now I see how far we've grown apart.”
His words hurt her. And she didn't know how to defend herself against them. ”Forget this meeting ever happened, Jagu. Forget all about me. Celestine de Joyeuse is dead. Make up some story or other; she caught a fever on Lapwing Spar and died in a fisherman's hut. Or-”
”I understand.” Without another word, he turned and left the dressing room.
Had she persuaded him? And if she'd finally persuaded him to p.r.o.nounce her officially dead, why did she feel so empty now she had sent him away?
”Forget this meeting ever happened.” Jagu took another mouthful of vodka, swilling the clear liquid around in the little gla.s.s. It was well past midnight, but there were still taverns open; the Muscobites liked to drink late into the night. Vodka was not really to his taste, even seasoned with bitingly hot red pepper. But it seemed close enough to the wound-cleansing spirit used by the Commanderie surgeons on the battlefield to anesthetize the pain he was feeling. Jagu took another mouthful of vodka, swilling the clear liquid around in the little gla.s.s. It was well past midnight, but there were still taverns open; the Muscobites liked to drink late into the night. Vodka was not really to his taste, even seasoned with bitingly hot red pepper. But it seemed close enough to the wound-cleansing spirit used by the Commanderie surgeons on the battlefield to anesthetize the pain he was feeling.
”Forget all about me.” How could he? Yet it had felt so unnatural, talking with a stranger who had all Celestine's little mannerisms, who spoke with Celestine's voice, yet looked so utterly different. Her guardian's glamour had almost deceived him. How long would it work on others, especially Gauzia? Gauzia was no fool. She would not relish having so gifted a compet.i.tor on the operatic stage. She might already be planning ways to destroy her rival's career before it had even begun. How could he? Yet it had felt so unnatural, talking with a stranger who had all Celestine's little mannerisms, who spoke with Celestine's voice, yet looked so utterly different. Her guardian's glamour had almost deceived him. How long would it work on others, especially Gauzia? Gauzia was no fool. She would not relish having so gifted a compet.i.tor on the operatic stage. She might already be planning ways to destroy her rival's career before it had even begun.
Celestine de Joyeuse is dead.
Celestine set out for her lodgings through the dark, silent streets.
Jagu recognized me in spite of this disguise. I can't stay here. Even if he doesn't reveal my secret, it's only a matter of time before others come...
Was that why she walked so slowly, dragging her feet? Or was it that-even though she had driven him away-she had not wanted to let Jagu go? The sound of his voice alone had awakened a thousand little memories.
Why had his words hurt her so much? Why did it matter to her what he thought? She had a new life, a new ident.i.ty; she didn't need him anymore.
CHAPTER 19.
”You've been very generous to me, Amba.s.sador; I can't thank you enough.” Jagu bowed to Fabien d'Abrissard as Claude whisked away the borrowed finery.
”So you were mistaken?” Abrissard asked, hardly glancing up from the dispatch he was reading.
”I was mistaken.”
”You're a poor liar, Jagu.” Abrissard looked up at last. ”But events have overtaken us. I have some advice which you'd do well to pay attention to. I'd think twice, if I were you, about returning to Lutece.” He cast the dispatch down on the desk. ”Ruaud counted you among his most trusted and loyal agents. I know that for a fact, because he told me so. But you and I-and Celestine, wherever she may be- have been marked as Ruaud's supporters. You see, there's a new king in Francia: Ilsevir of Allegonde.”
”Prince Ilsevir?” repeated Jagu, astonished.
”And wherever Ilsevir goes, the Rosecoeurs accompany him. How do you feel about being forced to join the Rosecoeurs?” Abrissard gazed at Jagu inquiringly.
”Forced?” Jagu did not like the idea at all. ”But why would I-?”
”Because the balance of power is s.h.i.+fting even as we speak. Hugues Donatien has been a secret member of the Rosecoeurs for many years. He will replace Alain Friard with Ilsevir's right-hand man, Girim nel Ghislain.”
”No!”
Abrissard leaned forward. ”And it won't be long, I imagine, before I'm replaced by one of Ilsevir's favorites. I'm no friend to the Rosecoeurs. I was always Gobain's man, and Alienor knows it. I imagine that Ilsevir and Donatien will purge the Commanderie of any dissenting voices as soon as they can; they may even have begun the process already.”
”I could never renounce my allegiance to Saint Sergius,” Jagu said without hesitation. ”I could never follow the tenets of the Rosecoeurs.”
”I want you to know, Jagu, that for as long as I hold office, I'll give you whatever help or advice you need.”
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