Part 16 (1/2)
A clergyman was being shaved by a barber, who had evidently become unnerved by the previous night's dissipation. Finally he cut the clergyman's chin. The latter looked up at the artist reproachfully, and said:
”You see, my man, what comes of hard drinking.”
”Yes, sir,” replied the barber consolingly, ”it makes the skin tender.”
Mistress--”Did the mustard plaster do you any good, Bridget?”
Maid--”Yes; but, begorry, mum, ut do bite the tongue!”
They had just met; conversation was somewhat fitful. Finally he decided to guide it into literary channels, where he was more at home, and, turning to his companion, asked:
”Are you fond of literature?”
”Pa.s.sionately,” she replied. ”I love books dearly.”
”Then you must admire Sir Walter Scott,” he exclaimed with sudden animation. ”Is not his 'Lady of the Lake' exquisite in its flowing grace and poetic imagery? Is it not--”
”It is perfectly lovely,” she a.s.sented, clasping her hands in ecstasy.
”I suppose I have read it a dozen times.”
”And Scott's 'Marmion,'” he continued, ”with its rugged simplicity and marvelous description--one can almost smell the heather on the heath while perusing its splendid pages.”
”It is perfectly grand,” she murmured.
”And Scott's 'Peveril of the Peak' and his n.o.ble 'Bride of Lammermoor'--where in the English language will you find anything more heroic than his grand auld Scottish characters and his graphic, forceful pictures of feudal times and customs? You like them, I am sure.”
”I just dote upon them,” she replied.
”And Scott's Emulsion,” he continued hastily, for a faint suspicion was beginning to dawn upon him.
”I think,” she interrupted rashly, ”that it's the best thing he ever wrote.”
”Why is Jones growing a beard?”
”Oh, I believe his wife made him a present of some ties.”
Wife--”Do come over to Mrs. Barker's with me, John. She'll make you feel just as if you were at home.”
Her Husband--”Then what's the use of going?”