Part 10 (1/2)

Joe Jefferson had but one person with him who did not reverence the man and the name.

This individual, one Bagley by name, was the property man and annoyed the great comedian with undue familiarity. He had called Mr. Jefferson ”Joey” during his entire thirty years' service.

Just previous to an auspicious opening in one of the big cities, Mr.

Jefferson discharged Bagley for humiliating him before a number of friends. Bagley got drunk right away, and that night paid his way to the gallery to see Mr. Jefferson present ”Rip Van Winkle.” The angry Frau has just driven poor, dest.i.tute Rip from the cottage when Rip turns and, with a world of pathos, asks: ”Den haf I no interest in dis house?” The house is deathly still, the audience half in tears, when Bagley's cracked voice responds: ”Only eighty per cent, Joey--only eighty per cent.”

Dean Hole, the noted English clergyman who died recently, was the leading figure in many humorous stories. On one occasion he was crossing the Channel after a visit to the Continent, the voyage being very stormy.

The Dean was a bad sailor and had suffered a great deal on the trip.

At Dover he was looking over the railway company's rules on the station wall as a pa.s.senger came up. Said the Dean: ”After that stormy voyage we have at least one advantage in making the subsequent trip to London. I see the company carries returning empties at reduced rates.”

Gilbert Stuart, though a celebrated artist, was likewise a great braggart. On one occasion a great public dinner was given to Isaac Hull by the town of Boston, and he was asked to sit for his picture to the artist.

When Hull visited the studio Stuart took great delight in entertaining him with anecdotes of his English success, stories of the marquis of this and the baroness of that, which showed how elegant was the society to which he had been accustomed.

Unfortunately, in the midst of this grandeur, Mrs. Stuart, who did not know that there was a sitter, came in with ap.r.o.n on and her head tied up with some handkerchiefs, from the kitchen, and cried out: ”Do you mean to have that leg of mutton boiled or roasted?” to which Stuart replied, with great presence of mind, ”Ask your mistress.”

This story is related of an old-time Judge in Sullivan County, N. Y.:

During a session of court there was so much talking and laughter going on that the Judge, becoming angry and confused, shouted in great wrath:

”Silence, here! We have decided half a dozen cases this morning, and I have not heard a word of one of them.”

Irving Bach.e.l.ler, the author of ”Eben Holden,” went a little farther north than usual one summer while on his vacation, and penetrated Newfoundland. He caught a good many fish, but this did not prevent his keeping an eye on the natives. He was particularly impressed by the men who spent the day lounging about the village stores.

”What do you fellows do when you sit around the store like this?” he asked of the crowd arranged in a circle of tilted chairs and empty boxes and maintaining a profound silence.

”Well,” drawled one of the oldest, ”sometimes we set and think, and then again other times we jest set.”

Not long before his death Thomas B. Reed visited some friends at their summer residence at Watch Hill, R. I. Late in the afternoon he was driven up to Westerly to take the 7 o'clock train for Boston. It was a warm evening, the horses lagged and he missed the train, the last Boston-bound train stopping at Westerly that night.

As Mr. Reed had an important engagement in Boston early the next day, he seemed worried until he learned that there was a Boston express which pa.s.sed Westerly at 9 o'clock. Then he smiled.

Going to the telegraph office, he directed a telegram to the superintendent of the road in Boston, and sent the following message:

”Will you stop the 9 o'clock express at Westerly to-night for a large party for Boston.”