Part 2 (2/2)
”He's a hero!” (She adds:) ”What a pity he drinks!”
Gentle Reader, keep clear of her clutches!
O beware of her voice, I entreat!
Be you journalist, dowager d.u.c.h.ess, Or just merely the Man in the Street.
And I beg of you not to encourage a jade Who, if once she is started, can _never_ be stayed.
[Ill.u.s.tration: ”_Where the spinsters at tea are collected, Her arrival is hailed with delight_”
_The Cry of the Children_
[On the subject of infant education it has been suggested that more advantageous results might be obtained if, instead of filling children's minds with such nonsense as fairy-tales, stories were read to them about Julius Caesar.]
O my Brothers, do you hear the children weeping?
Do you note the teardrops tumbling from their eyes?
To the school-house they reluctantly are creeping,
Discontented with the teaching it supplies.
At the quality of modern education Little urchins may with justice look askance, Since it panders to a child's imagination, And encourages romance.
Do you see that toddling baby with a bib on, How his eyes with silent misery are dim?
He is yearning for the chance of reading Gibbon; But his teachers give him nothing else but Grimm!
What a handicap to infantile ambition!
'Tis enough to make the brightest bantling fume, To be gammoned with an Andrew Lang edition, When he longs for Hume, sweet Hume!
See that tiny one, what boredom he expresses!
What intolerance his frequent yawns evince Of the fairy-tales where beautiful princesses Are delivered from a dragon by a prince!
How he curses the pedantic inst.i.tution Where he can't obtain such volumes as ”Le Cid,”
Or that masterpiece on ”Social Evolution”
By another kind of Kidd!
Do you hear the children weeping, O my Brothers?
They are crying for Max Muller and Carlyle.
Tho' Hans Andersen may satisfy their mothers, They are weary of so immature a style.
And their time is far too brief to be expended On such nonsense as their ”rude forefathers” read; For they know the days of sentiment are ended, And that Chivalry is dead!
Oh remember that the pillars of the nation Are the children that we discipline to-day; That to give them a becoming education You must rear them in a reasonable way!
Let us guard them from the glamour of the mystics, Who would throw a ray of suns.h.i.+ne on their lives!
Let us feed each helpless atom on statistics, And pray Heaven he survives!
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