Part 13 (2/2)
”I didn't mean to, it's just happening.”
Sam pursed his lips. ”The drugstore didn't just happen, Jill.”
”I didn't expect the answer that I got.”
”Understood. So stop, now. Tell the cops, and let them handle it.” Sam shook his head. ”I don't want you in harm's way. Or Megan.”
”I would never endanger Megan.”
”You may have, already. You're worried about Abby's safety, what about hers or yours?” Sam gestured at the door. ”You're saying the SUV was on our street, for G.o.d's sake.”
”I didn't realize it.” Jill felt defensive, her thoughts confused. ”It might not have been the same car.”
”Is it or isn't it? Why take a chance? Do you really want to bring trouble to our door, and for what? It's police business, not ours.” Sam raised his hands slowly, palms up. ”Why am I so involved in your ex-husband's life's, all of a sudden? Why are you?”
”I don't think of it as his life, honey. I think of it as Abby's life.”
”It's the same result, isn't it? It's all about him. You're on his laptop, reading his email, trying to find his business partner. Until yesterday, your ex was dead to you. And now that he's dead, he's come back to life.”
”Don't be that way.” Jill could see he was hurt, even jealous, which was so unlike him. ”I can't just give up on Abby.”
”She's not yours to give up.”
”It's a figure of speech.”
”No, it's not.” Sam sighed heavily, and just like that, they were at an impa.s.se.
Jill looked around the family room, with its cheery, red-checked couch and white ginger lamps. She had picked out new furniture after she was divorced, and this house was smaller than the one she'd lived in with William and the girls. When Sam had moved in, they'd added a picture rail for his photographs and bookshelves for his collection of first editions. They'd worked together on the room, and they'd succeeded in making a new home and a new family, until now. The family room didn't define the family anymore, and Jill knew they needed to find some middle ground.
She met Sam's eye. ”You're right about the police. I'll call them tomorrow. I'll tell them about the forged script and the SUV.”
”Good, thanks.” Sam rose stiffly, offering his hand. ”Why don't we go to bed and hope that Abby's back in the morning?”
”Honestly, I know I won't sleep. I can't rest until I know everybody's safe, all under one roof.”
”She has a different roof, babe.” Sam let his hand drop to his side, and Jill wanted to clear the air, once and for all.
”I know that, but it seems like a technicality, doesn't it?”
”No.”
”Really?” Jill didn't understand. ”What if she's injured, Sam? Or missing? Doesn't that change your a.n.a.lysis?”
”No.” Sam stood firm, straightening up. ”Did it occur to you that her disappearing act could be a bid for attention? It's inconsiderate, at best. You're back in her life, and she loves it. She loves you. You heard her last night.”
”I love her, too. That's real, honest emotion, not manipulation.”
”Is it, on her part?” Sam c.o.c.ked his head. ”What was she thinking, inviting you to the memorial service and not telling her sister? She had to know there would be a scene.”
”She didn't expect that reaction.”
”Come on, Jill. If you ask me, the kid's acting out to keep you involved with her, taking your attention away from Megan and me.”
”You? That's crazy, Sam.”
”No, it isn't. I'm the guy who replaced her father. She was downright hostile to me last night.”
”She was drunk, and she doesn't even know you.”
”Okay, enough. I'm out of gas. I'm going to bed. Wanna come?”
”No, not just yet.” Jill felt torn, betwixt and between, again. She loved having Abby back in the fold. It made her feel whole again, filling the Abby-shaped hole in her heart, like the blank cutout from a sheet of cookie dough. ”I'm not tired, and I just can't go to sleep like nothing's wrong.”
”One last thing, babe. Ask yourself whether you're getting involved with Abby because Megan's pulling away.”
”Do you believe that?”
”Doesn't matter. What I said was, ask yourself.” Sam put his hands on his slim hips. ”You don't have to answer to me, you have to answer yourself. Maybe you're getting what you want, in Abby. A kid to worry about, a kid to raise. Because Megan is growing up, the way she's supposed to. Maybe you want to have a baby forever, to replace her.”
Jill opened her mouth to object, then shut it. She knew he was wrong, but he had a working hypothesis, and she couldn't talk him out of it, tonight.
”Either way, I love you. Goodnight.” Sam leaned over, placed his hands on the arms of her chair, and gave her a dry kiss on the lips. But when he pulled away, he didn't meet her eye, and his expression looked troubled. ”I'll let the dog out.”
”No, I will. You've done enough today.”
”Thanks.” Sam flashed her a tired smile, then turned to go.
”Love you, too,” Jill called after him, listening to the sound of his footfalls disappearing. She didn't like the distant look in his eyes, one she'd never seen before, and she could feel a new rift between them, as if suddenly they were on two separate ice floes, drifting apart on a vast and frigid sea.
Jill, I love you, so much, you're my mom.
Jill got up and hurried into the kitchen.
Chapter Eighteen.
Jill crossed to the coffeemaker and popped in a pod, then set a mug underneath and hit BREW. She couldn't ignore the sensation that Abby was in trouble. Abby's drinking worried her, and it was possible that she was pa.s.sed out in a club or an alley somewhere.
Jill picked up the phone and checked her messages, but Abby still hadn't called her back, so she called her again and left another message, saying the same thing. On impulse, Jill called the University of Pennsylvania Hospital in Philly, transferred to the emergency room, and asked for Abby Skyler or a Jane Doe with Abby's age and description. No luck. Meanwhile, the coffee had brewed, and Jill slid it out, took a hot sip, then called Temple and Hahnemann hospitals, but Abby hadn't been at either of their ERs or admitted.
Jill took the mug back to the laptop and moved the mouse. There was nothing more she could do for Abby right now, so she told herself to be patient. She stared at the screen for a moment, feeling the weight of Sam's words and wondering if she'd been giving short shrift to Megan. Katie had said almost the same thing, and Jill was beginning to sense a consensus. She'd have to make sure to take care of Megan, too, and even that seemed a familiar balancing act, from her days as a mom of three.
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