Part 5 (2/2)
”Is there something after it, like with Grandma? Do we all go to a restaurant?”
Jill realized that Abby hadn't mentioned a reception. ”I don't know.”
”Who else will be there, besides Abby and Victoria?”
”I don't know. I guess William's friends and maybe someone from work.”
”Where did he work?”
”I don't know that, either.”
Megan shook her head. ”We don't know anything about him anymore, and he used to be my Dad.”
Jill felt stricken. She knew the feeling, albeit from the other side. If it was impossible to be an ex-parent, it was impossible to have one.
”It's like he just forgot we were in the same family. Like he never even knew us, and we didn't matter to him at all.”
”He didn't forget you, honey.” Jill's fingers tightened on the wheel. They'd talked about this many times, but it was all coming back now, with William's death.
”Yes, he did. He didn't answer any of my emails or texts, not one. He didn't call me, not even when I got into National Honor Society.” Megan's tone stayed matter-of-fact. ”You tried to talk to Abby and Victoria, but he didn't even try to talk to me. He didn't even answer me, when I tried.”
”That doesn't mean he forgot you.”
”Yes, it does.”
”No, not necessarily,” Jill said, wanting to comfort Megan, even though she could never forgive William for cutting Megan off the way he had. If Jill hated him for one single thing, it was that, and she always would.
”Then why didn't he answer my email?”
Jill tried to think of an honest answer. ”Maybe because he couldn't face his hurt, or yours. We'll never know now. But I know n.o.body could forget you. You're a wonderful, wonderful girl.” Jill patted her leg, and another silence fell. Megan looked out the window again, her head moving slightly with the motion of the car.
”Look, a padiddle.” Megan pointed at the window. ”Remember when we used to play that game in the car, with Abby and Victoria?”
Jill did. A padiddle was a car with only one headlight, and whoever saw one on the road got a point. ”I do remember that, but I don't see a padiddle.”
”Look in your mirror. There's a padiddle behind us, one car back.”
Jill glanced in the rearview, and a black SUV with one headlight was behind them. She flashed on the scene outside the house last night, when Abby had come staggering down the sidewalk. She'd been visible in the beam from a black SUV, with one headlight. A padiddle. Not that it meant anything. The world was full of black SUVs, with or without headlights, which was why Jill drove a white Volvo.
”Do you think they think about us, when they play padiddle?”
”I bet they do.” Jill was remembering that the headlights on the SUV last night were boxy, but all SUVs had boxy headlights. SUVs were boxy, in general. They were practically boxes on wheels.
”Except they probably don't play padiddle anymore. They're too old.”
”They still might.”
”I think Abby thinks about us, but Victoria doesn't, as much. Abby loved us more.” Megan turned back to Jill, her dark eyes troubled. ”Victoria doesn't let herself love people a lot, you know what I mean?”
”Yes, exactly.”
”Victoria doesn't love enough, and Abby loves too much. Isn't that funny?”
Jill looked over, impressed. ”Well said.”
”Which is better?”
”The middle. Let yourself love. Love is good. Just choose the people you love wisely. They have to deserve you.” Jill heard herself pontificating, but she'd learned it the hard way. ”You'll make mistakes, but that's okay.”
”It is?”
”Yes, of course, it's human.”
”You mean because you can always get a divorce?”
”Well, yes,” Jill answered, pained. ”It's not ideal, but it's the best choice, if your marriage is terrible.”
”Except I didn't divorce William,” Megan said, again, matter-of-factly. ”I didn't divorce anybody. Neither did Abby or Victoria. The kids don't get a choice.”
Jill felt a wave of guilt. ”I know, sweetie, and I'm sorry.”
”I didn't mean it in a bad way, I'm just saying.”
”I'm still sorry, for the way it all turned out.”
”It's okay.” Megan reached for her phone at the sound of an incoming text.
”Don't forget to turn that off at the service.”
”I won't.” Megan checked the text, and a new smile flickered across her face.
”Is that Courtney?”
”No. A boy.”
”Really?” Jill brightened, happy to change the subject. ”Can I know more?”
”Well, he's really cute.” Megan smiled, warming. ”He's in one of the other clubs, the Hornets. He's one of the fastest freestylers on the team.”
”Good for him. What's his name?”
”Jake Tilson.”
”Did you start doodling Megan Tilson in your notebook?”
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