Part 10 (2/2)
”I did, too,” Mandy said. ”I never told you this, but James actually bolted the first night we had s.e.x. He snuck out of my apartment and left me there to wake up alone. This was always his plan.”
Heidi was stunned. ”That's heinous.”
”It is.”
”He came back, though.”
”He did,” Mandy said. ”I now realize it was just the guilt driving him. I refuse to be a guilt girlfriend.”
”I don't think that's what you were or are.”
”You don't know,” Mandy said.
Heidi made a popping sound with her lips. ”You're really cranky.”
”I'm just accepting my lot in life.”
”What's your lot in life?”
”I'm going to be alone,” Mandy said. ”I understand that now. I've loved James Hardy since I was fourteen years old. He didn't feel the same way then. I somehow managed to convince myself that he felt that way now.”
”I think he does.”
”He doesn't,” Mandy said. ”He doesn't want to be with me. I'm just a burden to him.”
”Is this about the explosion?'
”Who cares about the explosion? The pain I have from that stupid thing is nothing compared to the big James-Hardy-shaped hole in my heart. I'm done.”
”Maybe I should call him.”
”If you call him, I'm never going to speak to you again.”
Heidi worried her lower lip with her teeth. ”What are you going to do when I get you home?”
”I'm going to take a bath and then I'm going to go to sleep,” Mandy said. ”In another week, my body will be healed and I'll be able to put all of this behind me.”
”You're going to put James Hardy behind you?”
”I'm going to try.”
JAMES pulled into an open parking spot in front of Mandy's apartment building and slammed his Explorer into park. He jumped out of the vehicle, pausing when he saw Heidi sitting in her car alone. She was talking to herself.
James knocked on the window, causing the pleasingly plump court stenographer to jump. Heidi rolled down her window when she saw him. ”I'm so glad you're here.”
”Is she inside?”
”Yeah.”
James searched Heidi's face for a clue. When he didn't find one, he squatted down so he could better talk to her on an even level. ”What did she say?”
”She said a whole heck of a lot,” Heidi said.
”Like?”
”Well, for starters, she says you don't love her and she's a burden to you.”
James growled. ”She's killing me.”
”I told her I thought she was losing her mind, but then she got mad at me so I stopped saying that.”
”What else did she say?”
”She said that you want a life that doesn't include her, and that she's sick of being a guilt girlfriend.”
James was curious. ”What's a guilt girlfriend?”
Heidi pinched the bridge of her nose. ”Did you really sneak out of her apartment and leave her to wake up alone after the first time you had s.e.x?”
James' heart pinged. ”Yes.”
”That was a jacka.s.s move.”
”I'm well aware.”
”She said ... she said ... .”
”What did she say, Heidi?”
”She said that she's been in love with you since she was fourteen, but she couldn't pretend you ever loved her anymore,” she said. ”I told her that was crazy. I've seen you two together. You're either the best actor ever, or you love her with your whole heart.”
”I love her more than anything in this world, Heidi,” James said. ”You're not wrong.”
”Then why is she acting like this?”
”She's on medication,” James said. ”She's in constant pain. I've been ... distant. I was being distant because I thought I was protecting her. I may have been wrong to do it.”
Heidi looked dubious. ”May have?”
”I was definitely wrong,” James said. ”I thought I was doing the right thing.”
”You're a man,” Heidi said, shrugging. ”You always think you're doing the right thing until you realize you're doing the wrong thing.”
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