Part 8 (1/2)

”Listen, Owen,” Lilly began, but she paused, two seconds that I spent wondering if she might say something about us, about me. About this connection we seemed to have now... but instead she said, ”I just wanted to say I'm sorry for, you know, you drowning.”

”Oh.” I didn't feel like she needed to be. ”That's cool. I mean, you said you had your eye on me.”

”But I didn't,” Lilly admitted. ”Not at first.” She stopped, turning to me, but with her eyes focusing somewhere beyond my shoulder. ”The truth is, I didn't know you were gone. Not until the test was over. Everybody was back on the dock, and one of your cabin mates asked about you. That kid Beaker, I think. Then I started looking, and dove down and found you, and that's that's when I saw your neck, and knew you'd be fine. But, before then...” She shrugged. when I saw your neck, and knew you'd be fine. But, before then...” She shrugged.

”So, you lied back there,” I said, ”on the raft.”

”I just didn't want them to know I'd screwed up.”

I didn't know what to make of that. It was maybe a little disappointing. Lilly hadn't had her eye on me, hadn't even noticed me really, until someone else did. So, was this pity? Was she just hanging out with me because she felt guilty about almost letting me die? ”Why are you telling me this?” I asked.

”I don't know,” she said. ”I wanted you to know the truth, I guess.”

I thought about that. I wasn't sure if it changed anything. ”You still saved my life.”

”No, you saved your own life. I made a show of it, when I brought you to the surface, but that was just to help keep your gills a secret.”

”Well, but if you hadn't said that stuff to me, I probably would have gone and told Paul and Dr. Maria everything.”

”Yeah, I guess I did that part right.” Lilly stopped walking. ”I should get back.”

”Um,” I said, like I was going to say something else, but I couldn't think of what.

”I'll see you at breakfast,” Lilly said. She reached out and rubbed my forearm. ”Thanks for coming swimming. You'll come back tonight, right?”

”Um, sure. Yeah.” I nodded and smiled but tried not to do either too much while inside I was thinking, Yes! Yes!

”Good.” She smiled at me and turned, crossing the field. SafeSun warmed her tangled hair and her shoulder blade, sparkled on her toe rings.

I watched her go for a second and then headed into the trees. The wood-chip path poked at my bare feet. Other than in our apartment, I couldn't remember a time when I'd ever been barefoot back home. I thought about slipping my sneakers on now, but didn't. I walked on my toes, enjoying the pine needles clumping between them. I pa.s.sed sleeping cabins that vibrated with chords of heavy breathing and snores. Even though I was tired, I was kind of hopping along, feeling something like nervous or maybe excited.

I reached our cabin. With the side door shut tight, I'd have to sneak past Todd. I couldn't let him discover that I'd been out, not just because I'd get in trouble, but also because then their eyes would be on me. I needed to stay unknown, easily forgettable, so I could meet my nocturnal friends again.

I was pa.s.sing the vertical pairs of bunk windows, hearing everyone sawing away inside, when I spied the tangle of Beaker's blanket and sheets, now covered with a day's worth of dirt. He still hadn't come out after them, or hadn't been allowed to by the killer pack.

I stepped over them, then stopped, turned back, and picked them up. I went back around the cabin and walked down into the trees until I figured I was out of earshot, then I shook them out, the blanket then the sheets. I got as much of the dirt off as I could, and folded each up.

It occurred to me that yesterday I wouldn't have done this. Even just helping out Beaker this much was an act of defiance against the pack, and it was going against my plan to stay invisible. But that was with the staff and counselors. When it came to Leech, well... maybe if he wanted to hara.s.s me about it, I'd introduce him to the monster from the deep, take him on a little ride. Come on Come on, I thought. Try it. I dare you. Try it. I dare you. It was a new thought for me. A thought with power. I liked it. It was a new thought for me. A thought with power. I liked it.

I walked back up the rise toward the cabin. I was almost to the little wooden staircase and landing at the side door when I heard creaking footsteps from inside. The door popped open. I froze. Too late to make it back around the corner-I lunged under the stairs, my face meeting spiderwebs.

Someone stepped outside. Probably Todd. He'd noticed I was gone. Caught. Footsteps down the stairs, onto the wood-chip path ... but then heading away. I watched through the gaps between the warped stairs. The person was walking slowly, with trudging, tired steps. I saw faded sneakers, jeans, the proportions too small to be Todd.

It was Leech. He had a long, black, tube-shaped case over his shoulder. It looked like it was made out of leather. I'd never seen anything like it, except for rifle cases back home, but this was too short, too uniform in shape. What would you put in there? I saw his head c.o.c.k to the sky as he yawned.

Above, the door was slowly closing. Ahead, Leech was disappearing from view around the next cabin. I ducked out from the steps, put Beaker's bedding on the landing, and jumped up, grabbed the railing, but my knee didn't make it all the way, instead sc.r.a.ping the hard wood, the opposite of fluid water. Stupid surface world, stupid gravity! I hauled myself up, got to my feet, the door almost closed... then it paused.

Beaker's head appeared, his hair in a ridiculous black frizz. He squinted at me. ”You're not supposed to be out here,” he said groggily.

”Yeah, so what?” I whispered back to him, feeling a flash of the annoyance that probably led the other kids to torment him. Little Beaker, always worrying about the rules. As I swung my legs over the railing, I wondered if he was considering turning me in, seeing a chance to earn points with Todd, his only ally. I picked up his sheets and blanket and handed them to him. ”Here.”

Beaker looked down at them. He looked back at me. His eyes narrowed further, like he was trying to figure out the inevitable joke.

”They were on the ground. I shook them out.”

Beaker kept staring, then looked back down at them again and nodded. ”I've been using my sweats.h.i.+rt to sleep,” he said. ”Thanks.”

”Sure.”

He turned and went back in. I followed. Everyone else seemed to still be asleep. Except Leech, who was gone. Wouldn't Todd be interested to know that?

But all I wanted right now was sleep. I climbed up into my bunk and rolled over and felt only exhaustion, my muscles relaxing, body melting into a pool, no neck burning, just stillness and peace and thoughts of Lilly, amazing thoughts, but even they couldn't keep me awake.

It seemed like only a second had pa.s.sed when the reveille horn sounded. My eyes blinked open feeling dry. I was groggy, thirsty for hours more of sleep.

Todd came in. ”Another beautiful day, girls!” he said, showing us his pit-hair progress.

”Where's Leech?” Jalen asked, looking at his empty bunk.

Todd glanced in that direction, too. ”He had to go see the director.” I listened for some giveaway in his tone. Was Leech in trouble, or what? But there was nothing. ”Owen,” Todd said. ”Your neck's all better?”

”Oh,” I said, remembering that my bandages were gone. ”Yup. All good.”

”Cool,” said Todd like he only cared because it was his job.

We got dressed, pa.s.sed around the NoRad, and headed for flagpole. Everyone was quieter without Leech around. I noticed Bunsen and Wesley and Xane talking, even Noah joining in, combinations that wouldn't have been allowed otherwise.

The Arctic Foxes were already there. I heard them whispering to one another and I glanced over without really meaning to. I saw Paige and Mina and a couple of the others looking at me. Paige's eyes were narrowed as if she was studying me, and then she put a finger to her lips and nodded, like she was coming to some conclusion.

”Okay,” she said, and she must have known it was loud enough for me to hear, ”I can go with CP.” I couldn't tell if she was being serious or joking and I wondered, did just losing my bandages make the difference? Wasn't I still the same kid otherwise? I'm not, though I'm not, though, I thought. Maybe it shows in some way or- Maybe it shows in some way or- Hands shoved me forward. ”Sit down already,” said Jalen from behind me.

”Knock it off,” I snapped over my shoulder, but at the same time I realized that I had been holding up the line, so I didn't push it any further and I moved and took my seat on the bench.

Claudia started leading cabins in cheers. Once they got going, my eyes immediately started to shut, falling half asleep, the world outside my head becoming a distant drone....

”Thanks again for getting my stuff from outside.” I opened my eyes to find Beaker right beside me.

”Sure.” I glanced around out of instinct to see if anyone was listening, but then remembered that I didn't care. I shouldn't care. I could help Beaker; my cabin could even think we were friends, for all I cared.

A rush of whispers rippled through the Arctic Foxes. I heard someone say, ”Here he comes,” and saw them huddling their heads together and gazing out at the playing fields.

There was Leech, walking back from the lake beside Paul, who carried a fis.h.i.+ng pole by his side. That must have been what was in Leech's black case. So, he got to go on special morning fis.h.i.+ng trips with the director? Was this another perk of being here the longest?

Leech left Paul's side and headed up the aisle between the log benches. He was smirking like he could tell that all eyes were on him.

I glanced at Paul, who was circling around the campers. He was looking at me. I tried not to react. There was his slight smile again, the one that was so hard to read with those gla.s.ses on, and it was even weirder now, with everything the CITs had said. What did he really know? Another couple seconds pa.s.sed and he was still looking at me, and I realized that he probably noticed that my bandages were gone. Maybe that was all it was. But he was still staring, and I felt like ducking or something, just to get out of that spotlight.... Then he turned and headed up the hill.

Leech was arriving at our bench, his slopey grin in full effect.

A big squeal of laughter erupted from Paige and her group.