Part 14 (1/2)

That had her mask slipping. She gaped angrily at him. ”Talk about what? What is this? It's nothing, and you know it and I know it. Which is why I suddenly feel like s.e.x was a mistake. I liked us better when we were just friends.”

That was a lie. What she liked was his company, falling for him. Those frozen moments where she looked at him and he was just a man and she was just a girl and it was possible for them to fall in love. To be together.

s.e.x had been a mistake. Because now she knew what it felt like to be that close to him, to have the taste of him on her tongue, his c.o.c.k buried deep inside.

And now she had the rest of her life to miss that.

After helping her back over the wall, Marco led Allison to his bedroom. There were knowing glances at their disheveled appearances, Allison's dirty shorts and gra.s.s-stained linen s.h.i.+rt. He glared at all the smirks, the snickers, flipping Aidan off when he gave them an actual thumbs-up with a grin. He couldn't explain what had gotten into him and why he had thought it made sense to have s.e.x with Allison on the slope behind his house, where, with a little creative leaning, anyone could have seen them.

Without a condom.

That made him hate himself. He didn't have alcohol to justify such a stupid and reckless move. There had been no reason to be so utterly and stupidly reckless. Allison said she had an IUD, but he knew nothing about them and didn't exactly even know what that meant. Not to mention that while he'd gotten a clean bill of health from his doctor six months earlier and he'd been celibate, it wasn't fair to worry her. He couldn't explain his behavior other than he'd been filled with a base urge to take her, to claim her. To not let her go back to New York.

All he'd done was freak her the f.u.c.k out. He couldn't blame her.

She was right. His actions had damaged their friends.h.i.+p, which in such a short time had become important to him.

After she went into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind her, he stood there for a second, then decided the h.e.l.l with it. He couldn't make it any worse. He opened the door and found her in the middle of pulling her shorts down.

”Do you mind?” she snapped. ”I'd like to pee by myself.”

”I just wanted to say that I want to still be friends. I want to stay in touch.”

One eyebrow arched. She paused with her shorts and panties around her hips, the top of her s.e.x just starting to peek out. It made his mouth water. She still looked like she'd been tumbled in the gra.s.s, her hair sticking out a little in various places, her clothes rumpled and dirty. Her lipstick was gone.

”What does that even mean, Marco? Like we find each other on social media? Oh, wait, you have a million followers already.”

He didn't know how to be specific. Frustrated, he squeezed his hands into fists. ”Stay here,” he repeated. G.o.d, why did he just say that? For the guy who wrote lyrics, he couldn't find the words. Any words.

She made a sound of exasperation and shoved her shorts down to her calves and sat down on the toilet. ”I already said no. I'm not going to be your beck and call girl. And yes, I meant that as a double entendre.”

If it had been anyone else, he wouldn't have stood his ground, forced a conversation. But this was Allison and he couldn't leave it like this. ”You know that's not what I'm asking of you. This isn't about me having you at my convenience.”

”Can you just give me a minute?” she asked. ”Your come is running down my leg. I'd like to use the toilet then shower, and then we can talk about how you won't take me at your convenience.”

Her voice was cold and he felt like a d.i.c.k.

He had lured her away from the party she'd been enjoying, then nailed her without a condom on a hill. His nostrils flared. Maybe he hadn't changed one d.a.m.n bit in the last year.

So he just turned on his heel and left, pulling the door shut behind him.

He rejoined the people milling around his pool, hoping to distract himself. He wanted a vodka tonic so bad his throat felt tight and his hand trembled. But he wasn't going to cave. He hadn't been sober for a year to blow it all now. To give in and be the man he had never wanted to be. The man who had drunken s.e.x with his buddy's wife. But he wasn't sure what kind of man he did want to be.

What he did know was the idea of being in a relations.h.i.+p with Allison was tantalizing and very tempting. He could see why she would be reluctant, but that didn't make him want it any less.

Sitting down on a lounge chair next to Rick, he glanced over at the subst.i.tute drummer after they exchanged greetings. ”How do you do it?” he asked him. ”Bounce from gig to gig, never knowing where you'll be from one week to the next? Doesn't living on the road like that get exhausting? I admire you, man.”

”It's because I have my wife and kids to come home to.” Rick sipped his drink, looking comfortable in the chair. His ankles were crossed, displaying beat-up but very expensive Italian snakeskin boots. ”It keeps me grounded. I know having a family isn't for everyone, but I dig it.” He pulled his phone out and scrolled through. He held it up and showed Marco a picture.

It was Rick with a beautiful blonde, who wasn't wearing makeup. They were leaning against each other and each was holding a little blond kid. They looked very happy. ”Nice picture. Twins?”

”Yep. Not sure how that happened, but there you have it. Bam. One and done.” Rick held his hand up and made a scissor motion. ”Thirty-three and I've already gotten the snip. We don't want any accidents.”

”That's smart.” Marco stared at the lights in his pool and felt melancholy and p.i.s.sed off.

”What about you, you want kids?”

”I don't know. But if I do, I want it to be planned, not because I was being careless.” He thought about Allison inside the house, and winced.

”You're a good guy, Lucky. I bet you'd like the family gig now that you've left the party scene behind.”

He would. He really thought he would.

”Someday.” Determined to shake off his bad mood, he smiled. It was his mood that had had him tossing Allison over a wall. Though if he had used a condom, he was certain he wouldn't regret a d.a.m.n thing. ”But for right now, this alb.u.m is my baby. I'm loving that bridge we did today.”

It was easy to turn the conversation to work, music. Rick took the bait and they settled in to an easy discussion. It helped pa.s.s the time, but it didn't fully take Marco's mind off Allison in his bedroom. In his bed. Where he had been with her the night before. Was that really all it was going to be-one night?

One night was never enough.

Suddenly he held up his finger for Rick and said, ”I need my guitar.”

For the first time ever, he was going to write a song about a woman.

Allison lay on Marco's bed, annoyed. Why had she said she was going to bed? There was a c.o.c.ktail party going on and she was the lame-o house guest in bed. She wanted to get up and go back out there and show Marco that she was fine. Because she was fine.

”Ugh,” she said to the empty room. Having showered the evidence of their hillside bang off, she was wearing pajama shorts and a tank top. Getting out of bed, she threw a T-s.h.i.+rt on over the tank and decided the h.e.l.l with it. She was already out of her element here, and who cared what she was wearing?

Apparently the brunette in the six-inch heels who gave Allison a disdainful once-over when she came out onto the patio from the doors in Marco's bedroom. Ignoring her, Allison went and found Aidan. ”Have you seen Marco?”

She couldn't leave it alone. She felt like she needed to poke, to ask him what the h.e.l.l he wanted. It was stupid, pointless, yet she couldn't stop herself.

”You lost him already?” Aidan asked. ”If things are going south with you two, I'm single right now.”

Almost nothing could be less tempting. Aidan was good looking, which he knew. He was charming, which he knew. He was also a serial cheater, which everyone knew. Yet he had no problem finding a new girlfriend every few months. It was mind-boggling. Allison wanted to have more dignity than that. She wanted to be more realistic. Which was why she was going back to New York after only one night with Marco.

”Thanks for the offer, Aidan, but I'm not in the market right now. I'm considering the possibility of joining the Revirginization Club and seeing how that works out for me.”

”Does Marco know about that? Because I'm guessing that is not a club he wants you to join. And I know he ain't joining it.”

That went to show how little his bandmates really knew him. Allison didn't doubt that Marco had stayed celibate and sober for the last year. ”Once I find him, I'll ask.”

”He's downstairs, writing. I heard him testing out some lyrics. My brother needs to chill sometimes, you know? He hasn't been Mr. Social lately.”

”Yeah. I know.” Marco did need to relax. She couldn't argue with that. Her anger was deflating, which annoyed her. She wanted to stay angry with him so she could flounce back to New York and not care that she was leaving him behind. Instead, she suddenly wanted nothing more than to grab him by the hair and drag him to bed so they could spend the night wrapped up in each other. Just one night.

When she made her way downstairs to his studio, she heard him playing before she saw him. She couldn't make out the words, but she did hear that it was no love ballad. Not that Marco was known for those. It was an angry rock anthem. Coming around the corner, she saw his back was to her. He was plugged in to the amp and he was really laying it all out there. This was not a sweet acoustic session. He was ripping his guitar.

There was no way to understand his words, since he didn't seem to have any mic turned on and the guitar drowned him out. For a minute she just leaned on the wall and listened. It was powerful to hear him solo. Without a huge stage or producers doing whatever they did to make music sound so processed. It was raw and intimate.

It was everything she had come to learn about Marco.