Part 36 (1/2)
”I saw you kissing her!” Fern shouted. ”I heard you say you loved her. Why shouldn't I believe it?”
”Because I told you I love you. I asked you to be my wife.”
”And I believed you, fool that I was.”
”Samantha is my friend. We've known each other most of our lives.”
”But that doesn't mean you have to kiss her!” Fern shouted. ”Pike and Reed are my friends, but I don't go around kissing them. I sure don't tell them I love them. They'd think I was crazy.”
”Do you want to know what we were doing in that room?”
”I already know.”
”No, you don't. You only think you do.”
”I suppose you weren't kissing her.”
”Yes, I was.”
”I suppose you didn't say you loved her.”
”I don't remember, but I probably did.”
”You don't remember!” Fern squeaked. ”I don't suppose you remember you said you loved me either.”
”I think I remember every word I've ever said to you.”
There he was trying to sweet-talk her again, to make her think she was important to him. The part that made her so mad was that she wanted to believe him. She didn't, but she wanted to mighty bad. When she couldn't break away, she looked away. She might not be able to leave his arms, but she didn't have to took into his eyes and see the look of sincerity. She didn't know how he could lie with such conviction. She never could. She supposed it came from being a lawyer.
”Samantha and I were talking about you.” ”And you got so carried away with your love for me, you had to kiss somebody. So you kissed the first female handy which just happened to be the beautiful Miss Bruce.”
”I told her I had asked you to marry me, but I was concerned about taking you back to Boston.”
”You probably thought I'd wear my pants and sheepskin vest to your fancy parties. That would embarra.s.s you, wouldn't it? I can just imagine what your old friends would say. I can't imagine what's come over Madison to fall for that female. Surely he can see she belongs in a saloon rather than a salon.”
”I said I thought it would be very lonely for you, not having any friends.”
”You can't expect virtual savages to have friends, particularly not in Boston. Maybe you should bring along a buffalo or a prairie dog to keep me company. But don't choose a rattlesnake. It would remind me too much of you.”
”She said she'd be happy to introduce you to her friends and to be sure you didn't feel neglected when I had to be away on business.”
Fern's anger faltered.
”Why should she do that? She's in love with you herself.”
”Don't be ridiculous. Samantha's like a sister. I can still remember the first time I visited Freddy. She couldn't have been more than six or seven.”
”It doesn't matter how old she was then. She's in love with you now.”
”But I've never done anything to make her fall in love with me.”
Fern could feel her anger deflate like a punctured balloon.
”You don't have to. Women fall in love by themselves all the time. I fell in love with you when I still thought you were the most miserable, conceited wretch on the face of the earth.”
”Then you do still love me,” Madison said, squeezing her so tightly she doubted she could take a deep breath.
Hope, the stubborn little b.a.s.t.a.r.d, just wouldn't go away. He popped up again like an apple in a tub.
I said I fell in love with you,” Fern corrected. ”I didn't say I stayed in love.”
”You're too stubborn to change your mind once you've made it up.”
d.a.m.n, she was letting him sweet-talk her again. ”You are undoubtedly the most conceited, obnoxious”
Madison kissed her firmly on the mouth. I think I fell in love with you that day you jumped on your horse and took out across the plains. And I haven't changed my mind, either.”
She could feel herself giving in, believing him. ”Then why were you kissing Samantha?” Fern demanded. ”Why did you say you loved her?”
I do love her,” Madison said. I love her whole family. They had the courage to take a penniless Southern boy into their home during a bitterly fought war. They paid for my education, made a place for me in their circle of friends, and made me feel like one of the family. I'll always love them, but that doesn't mean I want to marry Samantha. She's like my sister.”
”That's not the way she feels.”
”How do you know? Did she tell you?”
”No, but I can tell. Rose knew that first evening.”
Madison looked stunned. ”I never knew. Why didn't she say something?”
”She would never tell you, especially if she thought you loved someone else.”
She could see the uncertainty in his eyes. He clearly didn't want to hurt Samantha. It was impossible to disbelieve the sincerity in his voice, and Fern felt ashamed of herself for doubting him.
She should have realized long ago that Madison wouldn't lie. He didn't care what other people thought of him. If she hadn't been so uncertain of herself, so sure he couldn't love her for herself, she would have seen it.
Madison had never lied to her. She had lied to herself. For years. All the time.
Fern felt her resolution begin to crumble. Then it washed away like sand before an incoming wave. She loved him, hopelessly, irrevocably. She must trust him, and she must trust herself.
”I'm sorry if I've hurt Samantha,” Madison said. ”I never meant to, but I still love you. I still want to marry you.”
”Are you sure?” Fern asked, her voice softer.
”I've never been more sure of anything in my life. You've made me so crazy I've even found myself going to William Henry for advice.”
”What?” Fern asked, a bubble of happiness about to burst within her.