Part 32 (1/2)
”It really is Fern,” Rose said. ”Now hurry up and give her a kiss. You have to go to bed.”
William Henry seemed willing to take his mother's word. ”You're as pretty as that other lady Uncle Madison brought here,” he said. ”You're almost as pretty as Mommy.”
Fern gave the child a big kiss and a quick, fierce hug.
”You're a shameless flatterer. I hope your wife is as beautiful as a princess and all your children little angels. Now run away to bed. I promise to tell you everything about the party tomorrow.”
”Boys don't like parties,” William Henry announced very solemnly, ”but I'll listen if you want me to.”
”Scram,” George said. ”It's the Randolph in him,” the proud father explained to Fern. ”We can't seem to do anything about it.”
”Don't change a thing,” Fern said. ”It may drive his wife crazy, but it'll make her love him all the more.
”Yes,” Rose agreed softly, her luminous gaze on her husband and son as they left the room.
”It's hard to imagine Madison was ever that small,” Fern said, almost to herself.
”George, too,” Rose agreed. As if suddenly remembering something, she left the room and returned moments later with a photograph. ”You might like to see this.” She handed Fern the Randolph family photograph. ”Can you find Madison?”
Almost as if guided by an unseen finger, Fern's eyes went immediately to the tall, thin boy standing to the left of George.
”He was sixteen,” Rose said.
”He looks so young.” Fern said. ”As if nothing unkind or cruel had been able to touch him vet.”
”It had even then,” Rose said. ”His father made his life miserable. Madison won't tell you, but I will.” She pointed to William Henry Randolph. ”Look at him. He must have been the most handsome man in the world, the kind of man women only dream about.”
”No wonder George and Madison are so goodlooking,” Fern said, ”but even they're not as handsome as their father.”
I can't begin to tell you the things he did to those boys,” Rose said. ”He must have been the most cruel and vicious man who ever lived. Did you know Madison was born on Valentine's Day?”
Fern shook her head.
”According to George, their father taunted Madison with it, teased and badgered him until he refused to celebrate his birthday. When he asked to be sent away to school, their father made him come home because he knew Madison liked it.”
”How could he have been so cruel?”
”It was no worse than what he did to the other boys. But I'm not telling you this to make you feel sorry for them or angry at their father. I just want you to know why Madison might have some difficulty expressing his love, even being able to believe in your love.”
”I . . . we . . .”
”I'm not asking you to tell me anything,” Rose a.s.sured her, ”but I couldn't help but notice that things have been strained between you, especially since Miss Bruce and her brother arrived.”
”It's not” ”I'm sure it's not. But Madison still has some questions to answer, not the least of which is whether he wants to become part of the family again.”
”But I thought . . . he and George . . .”
”George isn't all the family. Hen still hasn't forgiven him. And then there's Monty and Jeff.”
”And the others?”
”Tyler and Zac were too young to remember much.”
”What can I have to do with this?”
”You've been as hard on Madison as anyone else, maybe even harder. I'm not blaming you,” Rose said when Fern colored with embarra.s.sment. ”Circ.u.mstances conspired to put you at odds with each other, but that's over now. Madison is at a crossroads. The decisions he makes now will determine how he lives the rest of his life. He very much needs someone who can accept him for what he is without any qualifications. I don't think he's ever had that before.”
”I'm sure Miss Bruce accepts him without qualification.” Fern was ashamed of herself for saying that. It sounded petty and small.
”Maybe, but it's not Miss Bruce's acceptance he's looking for. If it were, he probably wouldn't have left Boston.”
Fern had never thought of it like that. She had always a.s.sumed he had left Boston against his will, that he couldn't wait to get back so he could forget that Kansas ever existed.
”I don't know if I should tell you this yet,” Rose continued, ”but Madison bought that dress for you. He bought the blue one, too. He thought you probably didn't have anything to wear to the party and might not go.”
Fern felt a s.h.i.+ver of anger, a splinter of betrayal. She had been duped again. This was just one more example of Madison's determination to get his own way.
”But he told me not to pressure to you wear either one. He said he'd take you in pants if that was the only way you'd go.”
”But you said I couldn't go without a dress, that he wouldn't take me.”
”I was wrong,” Rose said. ”He obviously cares more for your company than he cares for convention. In fact, he gave me the impression he didn't intend to go if you didn't.”
Once more Fern's hopes flowered, but this time she couldn't feel that everything was hopeless. This time she felt sure that something would happen, somehow things would work out. If anybody could make things work out, it was Madison.
”But what about Miss Bruce and her brother?”
”Miss Bruce has been going to parties without Madison for years. I imagine she can manage one more.”
Fern tried to tell herself to keep a tight rein on her hopes, but there was no holding them now. If Madison could accept her pants, if he could prefer her to Samantha, he really did love her.
Chapter Twenty-One.
Madison. kept his horse to a walk. He was on his way to pick up Fern in the buggy he had rented for the party, but for the last hour he'd been telling himself he was an idiot in refusing' to recognize that Fern Sproull wasn't in love with him.
She couldn't be and give up so easily.
She might think she hadn't gotten over what happened years ago, but he was kidding himself if he believed it. The way her body froze every time he got near her was all the proof he needed. If she loved him half as much as he loved her, she'd be over it. As far as he could tell, she hadn't tried.
Then why haven't you gotten over the things your father and the twins did to you?
He could still remember being locked in that dark feed room. The memories no longer had the power to reawaken the fear and loathing he had experienced, but he remembered the time the snake crawled across his body. He had kept from crying out by telling himself it wasn't a rattlesnake or a copperhead, only a black snake looking for the mice that came to eat the grain. But he could still remember the nearly mindless terror as the huge reptile slithered across his body. He could still feel it against his clothes. He could still hear the whisper of its rough scales against the dry corn shucks as it prowled among the feed bins for mice.
A cold s.h.i.+ver arced through his body. Maybe he hadn't completely erased the memory of that day any more than he had forgotten the humiliation of being sent home from school. But not even the mortification of that experience could compare to the sheer gut-churning fury he'd felt when he learned his father had intentionally refused to pay the tuition because he thought Madison was too happy away from home.
No, he supposed there were some things he would never forgive. Hurts that might take a lifetime to heal. If that was true for him, it must be so for Fern.