Chapter - 51 (51) (1/2)

Fish hawk soared high in the clouds gallantly, eastern bean goose flew to the outer sky mysteriously.

Wei Xiaobao returned to his mansion, he sat in the side room feeling depressed. By the afternoon, an imperial edict arrived, the Emperor was summoning him to the Palace. Wei Xiaobao went to the Upper Study Room and kowtowed. Kangxi asked, ”Feng Xifan is suddenly missing, what is going on here?”

Wei Xiaobao was shocked; he thought, ”Why ask me?” He said, ”Reporting to His Majesty: the night Feng Xifan went missing, all along your servant was having fun with Duo Zongguan and the Imperial Bodyguards. Later on I heard Vanguard Battalion's Tai Dutong was looking for Feng Xifan. I don't know for a fact, but this Feng Xifan was then gone without a trace. These surrendering people from Taiwan are sneaky, their behavior is very strange, we don't want them to conspire against the law in secret, let your servant investigate carefully.”

Kangxi smiled and said, ”Very well, I give you the task of investigating this Feng Xifan's whereabouts clearly, come back here in a few days to report. I promised the surrendering people of Taiwan that I will protect them thoroughly. This man suddenly disappeared mysteriously, if I cannot give a clear account, it would mean that I break my promise to the world.”

Cold sweats suddenly appeared on Wei Xiaobao's forehead; he thought, ”His Majesty is this serious, could it be that he knew I killed Feng Xifan?” Without any choice he responded, ”Yes, yes.”

Kangxi asked further, ”Earlier today you went to Yinxing [Ginkgo] Alley, was it fun?”

Wei Xiaobao was taken aback, ”Yinxing Alley?” he asked. Immediately he recalled that at the mouth of the alley where Tian Di Hui warriors had their temporary lodging there were two big ginkgo trees; apparently that alley is called 'Ginkgo Alley'. The Emperor even knew the name of the alley, what else could he conceal from him? This time the cold sweat appeared on Wei Xiaobao's entire body, his legs went weak, he kneeled down at once, kowtowed and said, ”Your Majesty can see clearly for ten thousand li. All in all, your servant is loyal to you.”

Kangxi sighed and said, ”Those rebel thieves forced you to harm me, but you refused to comply no matter what. You are holding yi qi toward me very much; however … however, Xiao Guizi, in your whole life, will you always have your feet on two boats like this?”

Wei Xiaobao repeatedly kowtowed; he said, ”Your Majesty please understand, becoming the Tian Di Hui Zongduozhu, your servant will never do. Your Majesty may set your hundred and twenty hearts at peace.”

In his heart Wei Xiaobao said, ”This, I do not know.” He said, ”Your servant heard Fengyang [county, Chuzhou, Anhui] flower-drum

[38] people sang about 'ever since Zhu Emperor came out, there was scarcity nine out of ten years. Rich families sold their land, poor families sold their children.' Right now the wind changes, the rain's favorable, the country prospers, the people at peace, Your Majesty is raw bird fish soup [see 'yao shun yu tang' above], Zhu emperors were 108,000 li apart from you, even patting the horse's bottom they would not be able to chase after you.”

Kangxi smiled slightly and said, ”Stand up.” He also stood up and paced back and forth in the Upper Study Room. He said, ”Fu Huang [father emperor] is a Manchu, but my birth mother Empress Xiao Kang was a Han army banner person, so I am half Han. I treat common people under the heavens equally, I have never treated Han people unfairly the slightest bit, why do they hate me that much, and determine to kill me?”

Wei Xiaobao said, ”These rebels commit treason and heresy, they are totally muddleheaded, Your Majesty must not take them to heart.”

Kangxi shook his head, suddenly there was a depressed and lonely expression on his face. After quite a long time, he said, ”There are good and bad Manchu people, there are also good and bad Han people. Bad people in the world are too many, we can't kill them all, but to guide them back to the path of righteousness, I do not have that kind of ability. Ay, becoming an emperor is very difficult.” He stared at Wei Xiaobao for half a day before finally he said, ”You may go!”

Wei Xiaobao kowtowed and took his leave. He felt his entire body was cold. Turned out just now he was so scared that his undergarment and underpants were soaked with cold sweats. It was not until he was out of the Palace that he took a deep breath. ”There is a spy infiltrating Tian Di Hui,” he pondered, ”We killed one Feng Jizhong, another one appeared in his place. Otherwise, how could he know that they wanted me to assassinate the Emperor? But I wonder who is this spy?”

Returning to his mansion, he sat down and pondered carefully, but he could not find any clue. He thought further, ”His Majesty gave me the task of investigating Feng Xifan's whereabouts, looking at His Majesty's expression, he suspects that this is my doing, it's just that he does not have any incriminating evidence. How am I going to fob him off in this matter? Just now at the Yinxing Alley Shuang'er mentioned how I swapped people at the execution ground to save Mao Dage's life; fortunately I have not told her that I swapped him with Feng Xifan. Otherwise, this naïve girl would certainly blurt it out, and then the spy would report it to His Majesty. If my First-class Duke of Luding did not repeatedly demoted seventeen or twenty eight levels, my surname is surely not Wei.”

Thinking to the east, pondering to the west, he was deeply troubled. Prior to entering the service in the Palace, he and Kangxi could chat and laugh, the two of them were very happy. Now they all grew up, the Emperor was very imposing; Wei Xiaobao talked a lot of nonsense, he got so scared that he was not able to talk anymore. All these high-ranking positions, Great General Fuyuan, First-class Duke of Luding, are not fun to do anymore, not as interesting as when as a kid he became a little servant at Lovely Spring Courtyard; so free, unfettered and happy.

He thought, ”Tian Di Hui brothers are forcing me to assassinate the Emperor, the Emperor is forcing me to wipe out Tian Di Hui. His Majesty said, 'Xiao Guizi, in your whole life, will you always have your feet on two boats like this?' His granny, Laozi won't do it anymore! I won't have anything to do with everything anymore!” As soon as these five characters 'Laozi won't do it anymore' emerged in his heart, he felt unspeakably relax and at ease.

Taking dice from his pocket, he threw the dice on the table and shouted, ”If I have to quit, let me throw a 'hall full of red' [i.e. success across the board]!” Four dice rolled around, three dice landed with red dots facing up, but the fourth die landed on six dots; nothing can be blacker than that. Actually, when he threw the dice, he already cheated, but still he was unsuccessful.

”Damn it!” he cursed. Picking up the dice, he threw several more times; it was not until the eighth throw that he managed to get all dice landed on red. He cheerfully said, ”Turns out Laotianye [God] wants me to do seven things for His Majesty before I quit.” He mused, ”I have accomplished seven things early on. Killing Oboi was the first, saving the Old Emperor was the second, blocking in front of His Majesty's holy self on Mount Wutai was the third, rescuing the Empress Dowager was the fourth, contacting Mongolia and Tibet was the fifth, destroying Shen Long Jiao was the sixth, capturing Wu Yingxiong was the seventh, recommending Zhang Yong, Zhao Liangdong, and the others for service that they defeated Wu Sangui was the eighth, capturing Yakesa was the ninth … too many, too many. If I don't count the small things, the big things must be exactly seven. No more, no less.” But this time he did not feel like thinking of which seven things could be considered big things. In short, ”Laozi won't do it anymore!”

”One, I won't be government official; two, I won't rebel. So what is Laozi going to do?” Thinking back and forth, he still thought that he was happiest back in Yangzhou. As soon as he thought about returning to Yangzhou, he could not help bursting with joy. ”Guards!” he called loudly.

He ordered his personal guards to fetch food and wine. He drank alone while figuring out what he ought to do so that there would not be any future danger, that Kangxi could not send anybody to capture him, Tian Di Hui also could not pressure him to rebel. He thought that if he asked the Princess to come with him to Yangzhou, to spend her life in drinking and pleasure, she would definitely refuse. But if he wanted to open a brothel in Yangzhou, very likely Su Quan, Ah Ke, Fang Yi, Mu Jianping and Zeng Rou would not agree. ”Alright,” he thought, ”We'll take it one step at a time. Laozi has several million taels of family property, not opening a brothel will not starve me to death; it's just that I won't have anything fun to do.”

During the family dinner at the mansion that night, the seven wives saw him smiling in high spirit, he talked cheerfully and wittily, totally different from his frowning and always on the edge these past several days; they all asked, ”Why are you so cheerful?”

Wei Xiaobao smiled and said, ”Mysteries of heaven must not be revealed.”

The Princess asked, ”Did Huangdi Gege [emperor older brother] promote you again?”

Zeng Rou asked, ”Did you win big in gambling?”

Shuang'er asked, ”Tian Di Hui matter did not trouble you anymore?”

”Pei,” Ah Ke spat, ”Most likely this fellow fancies some young lady and wants to take her as the eighth wife.”

Wei Xiaobao simply shook his head.

After all his wives had stopped asking questions, Wei Xiaobao said, ”Originally I did not want to tell you, but you all insist on knowing; I have no choice but to tell you.”

The seven madames stopped whatever they were doing and listened attentively. With a serious expression Wei Xiaobao said, ”I have become a high-ranking officer, become a Duke, but am unable to distinguish good from bad, it is indeed too inappropriate. Starting tomorrow, I am going to study literature, take the exam to be a zhuangyuan [top scorer in imperial exam] and enter the Hanlin Academy.”

The seven wives looked at each other, followed by all of them roared in laughter. Everybody knew that this husband of theirs could kill and burn, steal, rob and swindle; he could do anything in the world but one thing: he definitely could not study and learn to read.

Frowning, Wei Xiaobao asked, ”Your Shun Tian Fu yamen has captured criminals and obtained information a lot, what clue did you find these past few days?”

The prefectural magistrate replied, ”Reporting to Gongye [duke]: Feng Bojue [Earl] went missing, the circumstances are very peculiar. Day after day lowly officer supervised, direct and led the operation, opened enquiries and secret search, but failed to obtain the slightest clue; indeed we are extremely anxious. Today we found out His Majesty issued special decree appointing Wei Gongye to be in charge, lowly officer is happier than obtaining promotion three levels in a row. Wei Gongye is our Dynasty's number one brilliant and competent high-ranking minister, on the horseback you manage the army, down the horseback you manage the people; regardless how thorny the big problem that fell into Gongye's hands, the bamboo will split upon contact with the knife's edge [i.e. solved immediately]. To be able to work for Gongye in a case like this, truly my ancestors had accumulated a lot of merit. In lowly officer's yamen, everybody is overjoyed, saying that this time we are very fortunate to take a shelter under the big tree's shade. When Wei Gongye went into action, even Luocha demons were defeated and driven away in confusion, would we be afraid of not finding Feng Bojue's whereabouts?”

Wei Xiaobao was aware that although the prefectural magistrate's flattering words surged like the tide, everything he said was very pleasant to hear, in actuality he was pushing the responsibility on Wei Xiaobao's shoulder. He thought, ”I don't know where that Feng Xifan's body was hidden, tonight I must use the 'Corpse Transforming Powder' on it, don't let it fall into other people's hands. As long as there is no evidence, nobody can point fingers at me. I should have transformed the corpse early on, these past few days I have been too busy and did not expect this matter. But how am I going to explain it in His Majesty's presence? His Majesty assigned me to do it. I, Xiao Guizi, am not bragging, but there is not a single mission I failed to accomplish.”

The prefectural magistrate continued, ”Every day Madame Earl of Zhongcheng sends people to lowly officer's yamen, and will not leave until they get an answer. Lowly officer really have a hard time dealing with them. Yesterday the Feng Mansion people came to report another case to the authorities, saying that one of Bojue's concubines by the name of Lan Xiang [orchid fragrance] ran away with some stable boy; they stole quite a few of gold, silver and jewelry. If the Earl of Zhongcheng did not reappear, perhaps one by one all the concubines, maidservants and menservants in the house would leave and none would remain.”

”Humph,” Wei Xiaobao snorted, ”I don't know where this Feng Xifan is hiding, having fun with women. Send more people to search low-grade brothels everywhere. Perhaps he is dining, wining, whoring and gambling and forget to go home. His mistress eloped with another man, he deserves it.”

”Yes, yes,” the prefectural magistrate replied, ”It is reasonable to say that if Feng Bojue is enjoying himself in the red-light district at Willow Lane, it has been many days, he ought to be home by now.”

”It's hard to say,” Wei Xiaobao said, ”That fellow Feng Xifan is an old pervert, he is not like Laoxiong here, who is an upright gentleman; if you stroll into a low-grade brothel, you will only visit for a day or half a night.”

With a forced laugh the prefectural magistrate hastily said, ”Lowly officer does not dare, lowly officer does not dare.”

Just then Earl of Zhongcheng's Madame Feng sent her brother to deliver eight kinds of gifts, saying they wanted to kowtow to Duke Wei, thanking Duke Wei for striving to investigate this case. Wei Xiaobao instructed his guards to stop the visitor, he did not wish to see them, and he did not wish to receive the gifts either.

The personal guard reported back, ”Reporting to Daren: the man from Feng family is very rude, ever since he arrived he did not stop sneering, saying something like grievance will be recompensed, enmity will be avenged; saying that His Majesty is already aware of this matter, in the end it will be 'as the water recedes, the rocks appear', that other people must not think his hand will cover the heaven, concealing everything from the Enlightened Sage, the Son of Heaven. Reporting to Daren: this man has the audacity to come to our door and display shockingly bad behavior, Xiaode [lowly one] really wants to give him several slaps on the ear.” This personal guard also took part in swapping people at the execution ground the other day, hearing the Feng mansion people's fierce speech, as if he already guessed the inside story, the guard could not help feeling nervous.

Wei Xiaobao also felt guilty as a thief; he could not stop his countenance from changing. He thought, ”If they continued making noise like this, I am afraid the hanky-panky would be exposed. Your granny, Feng Xifan himself was killed by Laozi, could it be that Laozi is afraid of your, dead demon's wife?”

Suddenly he thought of an idea, immediately his face was all smiles. He said to the prefectural magistrate, ”There's no hurry in your honor leaving now, please wait here for a moment.” Returning to the inner shall, he summoned the captain of his personal guards and gave him detailed instructions. The captain received the order and left.

Wei Xiaobao returned to the main hall and said, ”His Majesty sends me to handle this matter, we as his servants must spare no effort to repay our holy lord. Let us go right now to the Feng house to have an on-site survey.”

The prefectural magistrate was startled; he thought, ”Earl of Zhongcheng went missing, what is there to survey in his house?” Yet his mouth repeatedly agreed.

Wei Xiaobao said, ”This case is very difficult, we need to interrogate Feng family people, from big to small, one by one, carefully. Perhaps we can find some prospect of solution.”

”Yes,” the prefectural magistrate replied, ”Gongye's opinion is very true. Lowly officer is stupid to the extreme, from beginning to end did not think of doing it.”

Actually, since he was a lowly prefectural magistrate, how could he dare to go to the Earl of Zhongcheng's mansion and conduct comprehensive cross-examination? While at the same time, the people of Shun Tian Fu yamen, from top to bottom, knew that Feng Xifan was the Great General Fuyuan Duke Wei's arch-enemy. This man disappeared, nine out of ten it was Duke Wei who sent people to kill him. Duke Wei was the most favorite person of the reigning sovereign, he held the seal of authority over the military, who would have the gall to grow hair on his side, have the guts to swat the fly on the tiger's head? Therefore, in investigating this case, nobody was taking it seriously; they all hoped to stretch this case as long as possible until finally they could settle this matter by leaving it unsettled.

This moment the prefectural magistrate thought, ”Wei Gongye murdered Feng Bojue, and still want to make things difficult for his family. That Madame Feng is really not being too tactful, she is sending people here to talk rubbish; no wonder Wei Gongye is angry.”

Accompanied by Shun Tian Fu prefectural magistrate and his people, Wei Xiaobao arrived at the Earl of Zhongcheng mansion in an eight-man big sedan chair. He saw the mansion was already surrounded by several hundred personal guards all around. Upon entering the mansion, the captain of the personal guards stepped forward to report, ”Reporting to Daren: There are altogether 79 people in the Feng family, men and women; they are all waiting in the western hall to be questioned by Daren.” Wei Xiaobao nodded. The Captain added, ”Reporting to Daren: the court of law is being held in the eastern hall.”

Wei Xiaobao went to the eastern hall, and saw the courtroom was duly prepared, with a judge's desk arranged in the middle. Thereupon he took his seat, and ordered the prefectural magistrate to sit in the right-hand seat to accompany him.

The personal guards took a young woman in, approximately twenty-three or twenty-four years old, her appearance and demeanor was really not bad; delicately and gracefully she kneeled down before the Court. ”Who are you?” Wei Xiaobao started the cross-examination.

The woman replied, ”Humble woman is Bojue Daren's fifth young concubine.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, ”Please sit down, please sit down; I do not dare to accept you kneeling down in front of me.”

The woman did not dare to stand up. Wei Xiaobao stood up and said with a laugh, ”You won't stand up, I will have to kneel down in front of you.” The women smiled sweetly and stood up. Wei Xiaobao sat back down.

The prefectural magistrate thought, ”Wei Gongye does not treat the Feng family viciously, it's just that his lecherousness is not too dignified.”

Wei Xiaobao asked, ”What's your name?”

The woman replied, ”I am called Ju Fang [lit. chrysanthemum fragrance].”

Wei Xiaobao sniffed around a few times and said with a laugh, ”Good name! No wonder as soon as you came in, there's a whiff of chrysanthemum flower's fragrance in here.”

Ju Fang also laughed and said in a tender voice, ”Gongye is making fun of me.”

Wei Xiaobao shook his head while staring at her intently for half a day before asking, ”I heard that a concubine has run away from your precious home?”

”That's right,” Ju Fang replied, ”She is called Lan Xiang. Humph, that s1ut has no sense of shame.”

Wei Xiaobao said, ”Husband suddenly disappeared, she followed the second man. Um, that is quite understandable, not altogether … not altogether …” Turning to the prefectural magistrate he asked, ”Not altogether what is it?”

The prefectural magistrate replied, ”Reporting to Gongye: not altogether inexcusable.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed aloud; he said, ”That's it, not altogether inexcusable. Ju Fang Jiejie, why didn't you run away?”

Hearing this, the prefectural magistrate frowned immediately; he mused, ”This is more and more inappropriate; how could he use this appellation 'Jiejie' [older sister]?”

Ju Fang lowered her head. But she cast Wei Xiaobao a coquettish glance. Wei Xiaobao was greatly delighted; he felt as if he was visiting a low-grade brothel. He laughed and asked, ”Can you sing 'eight …'” the word was right at the tip of his tongue, but in the end he swallowed it back. Turning to his personal guards he ordered, ”Reward this Miss Ju Fang twenty taels.”

Several personal guards responded in chorus; they called out, ”Daren gives reward, thank him for the reward!”

Ju Fang was pleasantly surprise for the good fortune; she charmingly said, ”Thank you very much Daye [big master]!” Turned out originally she was a prostitute in a brothel; as soon as someone gave her tip, out of habit she called him 'Daye' instead of 'Gongye'.

Wei Xiaobao summoned the Feng family people one by one to be cross-examined, all females. The young and good-looking ones he questioned and cajoled a bit; the old and ugly ones he reprimanded a bit, saying that they did not serve the Earl well, to such an extent as to drive him out to find merriment outside and unwilling to go home.

When the questioning had been going on for almost an hour, the captain of his personal guards entered the hall and stood behind Wei Xiaobao. Wei Xiaobao continued giving two more people cursory questioning before he stood up and said, ”We shall examine all places.” He took the prefectural magistrate, Shun Tian Fu (legal) clerk, special force chief [lit. 'capture quick'], and his personal guards to examine each pavilion, hall, and room.

When they entered the third western side room, as usual the personal guards opened the trunks and turned the storage baskets upside down to be searched. A personal guard suddenly cried out, ”Ah!” and picked up a saber from underneath the trunk. The blade was stained with quite a bit of dried blood. Bending one knee in half-kneel posture he raised he saber with both hands and said, ”Reporting to Daren: we found the murder weapon.”

”Um,” Wei Xiaobao said, ”Continue the investigation.” Turning to the prefectural magistrate he said, ”Laoxiong, please look at this. Is this stain really blood?”

The prefectural magistrate received the saber, brought it to his nose and sniffed a bit. Sure enough, it was still reeking of blood albeit faintly. ”Reporting to Gongye,” he said, ”It seems to be blood.”

Wei Xiaobao said, ”There's a hole on the head of this saber, what kind of saber is this?”

The Shun Tian Fu clerk examined the saber carefully and then said, ”Reporting to Gongye: this is a lever-style guillotine to chop fodder, it is used mainly in stables.”

Wei Xiaobao nodded. ”I see,” he said.

The captain of personal guards ordered his subordinates to get a bucket of water and sloshed it on the ground. ”What are you doing?” Wei Xiaobao asked.

The captain replied, ”Reporting to Daren: if there is any place that was dug, the soil is not solid, the water will seep quickly in.” Before he finished talking, they saw that under the bed the water quickly seeped into the soil. The personal guards cheered in chorus. They lifted up the bed, took pickaxe, hoe and shovel and dug the earth. Shortly afterwards, a body was dug out.

The corpse's body was intact, but the head was missing. It was already rotten, obviously it had died many days. The body was wearing earl attire. As soon as the prefectural magistrate saw it, he exclaimed, ”This … this is Feng Jueye!”

”Is it Feng Xifan?” Wei Xiaobao asked, ”How do you know?”

”Yes, yes,” the prefectural magistrate said, ”We must find the head, and then we can reach a verdict.” Turning his head he asked the special force captain by his side, ”Whose room is this?”

The captain said, ”Xiaoren will find out immediately.” He went to the western hall and called a Feng family member to be questioned. Turned out that room used to be the run away Lan Xiang's room.

The captain returned and said, ”Reporting to Gongye, reporting to Futai [inspector general] Daren: the murder weapon is the machete used to slice fodder in the barn, the one who took Lan Xiang along with a bundle of valuables and ran away was this mansion's stable hand Xing Si [lit. 'Xing the fourth']. Let Xiaoren go to the stable and investigate.”

Everybody went to the stable to search. As expected, from underneath the trough they dug out a head. They asked Madame Feng to identify the corpse; there was no doubt that it was Feng Xifan. Immediately the coroner tested and determined: Feng Xifan was wounded with the saber, his body and head were separated and he died.

By this time the Feng mansion people had been released from the western hall, the cries of grief in the mansion shook the heavens, everybody cursed Xing Si and Lan Xiang as heartless for killing their master. The news spread out; in less than half a day, the city of Beijing was bubbling and gurgling, everybody was talking about this matter.

The prefectural magistrate was both ashamed and grateful, thinking that were it not for Duke Wei rapidly solving the case, perhaps his own future prospect would be greatly hindered. He profusely expressed his gratitude, while issuing the order to capture the 'fugitive who killed his master', Xing Si and Lan Xiang, and composing the report to his superior.

Only the special force captain was suspicious; he noticed that the cut wound on the neck was neat, apparently it was cut by a sharp blade, it did not look like it was cut by a fodder machete. He also noticed that in both places, the soil in which the body and the head were buried was relatively fresh, obviously the holes were dug not too long ago; the holes did not look like they were dug more than ten days ago. But Duke Wei had helped him solve this major case, the reward he received was generous, the Feng mansion also rewarded him with quite a lot of money, asking him to wrap up the case as quickly as possible, so that close relatives of the Feng mansion would not make a fool of themselves in yamen. Even if he had gargantuan suspicion, how could he dare to expose even half a sentence? He could only pondered in his heart, ”During the investigation in the Feng mansion, Wei Gongye's personal guards were everywhere, nobody was allowed to move around, if they wanted to move corpse and plant evidence, it would be very easy. Forget about burying one corpse, even if they wanted to bury a hundred or eighty corpses, it's not difficult at all.”

Wei Xiaobao said, ”It was all due to Your Majesty's flood of good fortune, your servant just happen to uncover a criminal plot.”

”Humph,” Kangxi snorted. He stared at Wei Xiaobao and coldly said, ”Grafting flowers onto a tree has nothing to do with my flood of good fortune.”

Wei Xiaobao jumped in fright; he thought, ”How did His Majesty know?” But he immediately understood, ”Of course, it is only natural that His Majesty has a secret agent within my personal guards.”

He was still thinking of how to respond when Kangxi sighed and said, ”The case is closed this way, it's also very good, so that there won't be any criticism from the people outside. It's just that you have brazenly taken rash action, I really don't know what to do with you.” Wei Xiaobao was relieved; he knew the Emperor spared his life this time. Immediately he kneeled down and kowtowed repeatedly.

Kangxi said, ”Presently all four oceans are peaceful, there is no need of troop movement, your title of Great General Fuyuan may be removed.”

”Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said. He knew that the Emperor was punishing him for acting willfully and making a scene; he added, ”Your servant's First-class Duke of Luding may also be degraded.”

”Alright,” Kangxi said, ”I demote you to be a second-class duke.”

Wei Xiaobao said, ”Your servant made a lot of trouble, my heart is uneasy, would Your Majesty please degrade me to be a third-class duke.”

Kangxi burst into loud laughter. ”Damn it,” he said, ”I am surprised that your heart can be uneasy; the sun must be rising from the west.”

When Wei Xiaobao heard the three-character 'tamade', he knew the Emperor's anger had subsided; he stood up and said, ”Although your servant does not have too much conscience, I always have a little.”

Kangxi nodded and said, ”Precisely it was because I saw that you still have a bit of conscience; otherwise, I would have chopped your head early on and bury it under your wives Ah Ke, Shuang'er's bed.”

Wei Xiaobao anxiously said, ”This must never happen.”

Kangxi asked, ”What must never happen?”

Wei Xiaobao said, ”Ah Ke and Shuang'er will never run away with the stable hand.”

Kangxi laughed and said, ”They won't run away with a stable hand, they might run away with …” Speaking to this point, he stopped talking; thinking that if this talk continued, inevitably it would turn frivolous and senseless. Besides, although Wei Xiaobao had disregard of the law and natural morality, after all is said and done, he was very loyal to him. A ruler and his minister may chat and laugh with each other, but must not bring dishonor upon himself. Momentarily at a loss of what to say, Kangxi decided to ignore him. Lowering his head, he flipped through the memorial on his desk.

Wei Xiaobao stood on the side with hands hung down. He saw Kangxi's brows were slightly knitted, he looked to be in deep concern. Wei Xiaobao thought, ”Oftentimes His Majesty is not happy. Although being the Emperor one has an awesome prestige, it is not necessarily a fun thing to do.”

Kangxi thumbed through the memorial for a while; he lifted up his head and sighed. Wei Xiaobao said, ”Your Majesty, whatever it is, please send your servant to deal with it. Let your servant atone for his crimes by meritorious acts, repaying my master's dragon kindness.”

”In this matter,” Kangxi said, ”I cannot send you. Shi Lang presented the memorial, saying that Taiwan has been hit by a hurricane, on the plain the water is four chi deep, common people's houses are damaged, families went bankrupt and the people died, the disaster is very serious.”

Wei Xiaobao saw that while talking, Kangxi's eyes were glistening with tears; he thought, ”We are good friends since childhood, I cannot not helping him.” He said, ”Your servant has a way.”

”What way?” Kangxi asked.

Wei Xiaobao said, ”To be honest with Your Majesty, when your servant served as an officer in Taiwan, I made a small fortune. More recently, I recovered a number of old debts from a Taiwan moneybags. By Your Majesty's grace your servant was able to hold with both hands the golden rice bowl that was damaged and was restored. For a lifetime I will not die of starvation. Too much money is useless, I would rather present it as an offering, asking Your Majesty to comfort and give relief to the victims of disaster in Taiwan.”

Kangxi smiled and said, ”The number of people affected by the disaster is a lot, your small fortune, no matter what, cannot be used. I will issue an edict at once, the Palace will cut down on palace maids and eunuchs, reduce the clothes, reduce the meals, let the Palace Internal Affairs make a plan to save four, five hundred thousand taels to be used as emergency relief for the victims.”

”Your servant deserves to die,” Wei Xiaobao said, ”Indeed it is desperately serious.”

”What is it?” Kangxi asked.

Wei Xiaobao replied, ”As a government official, your servant has committed corruption, in Taiwan I got one million taels, recently the debt I collected, which was from Zheng Keshuang actually, amounted to another million taels …”

Kangxi was shocked. ”That much?” he asked.

Wei Xiaobao lightly slapped his own mouth and cursed, ”Xiao Guizi deserves to die!”

Yet Kangxi laughed and said, ”Your ability in debt collection is really superior; I had no idea at all.”

Wei Xiaobao cursed again, ”Xiao Guizi deserves to die!” But his face showed that he was pleased with himself. He mused, ”When a government official reaches out to take money, how can he let you as the Emperor, know? You planted a spy among my subordinates, you can only investigate whether I dare to revolt or not. Your Meifu [younger sister's husband] collect money with his right hand, put money in the bag with his left hand, even your Da Meizi [oldest younger sister] does not know, you, this Da Jiuzi [wife's older brother], absolutely cannot know.” In his mouth he called himself 'your servant', in his heart he considered himself 'meifu'.

Kangxi pondered for half a day. He said, ”You have a heart that is loyal to your lord and loving to the people, it is indeed hard to come by. Let's do it this way: you contribute one million five hundred taels, I will add five hundred taels. We, the ruler and his minister, collect two million taels. Taiwan victims number about ten thousand or so households, each family will receive more than a hundred taels, that will be plenty.”

Impulsively Wei Xiaobao was feeling generous and wanted to donate, but just as quickly his heart ached and he already regretted it; when he heard that Kangxi would save five hundred taels for him, immediately he was overjoyed and hastily said, ”Yes, yes. Your Majesty love common people as your own children, Laotianye bless and protect Your Majesty with favorable weather, the country prospers, the people at peace.”

Because of serious disaster in Taiwan, this past half day Kangxi's heart was heavy; now that without rhyme and reason he suddenly obtained a lot of money, he was truly happy. He smiled and said, ”Also bless and protect you to be promoted and gain wealth, lots of good fortune and long life.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, ”Thank you very much for Wanshui Ye's [Lord of Ten Thousand Years] golden mouth. Your servant will be promoted and gain wealth, lots of good fortune and long life, it is entirely due to Your Majesty's grace. Besides, your servant's small fortune originally belonged to Taiwan people, now that we return it to the common people of Taiwan, it is no more than returning the jade annulus to … to Tai.”

Kangxi roared in laughter and said, ”It's the saying 'returning the jade annulus to Zhao' [i.e. return something intact to its rightful owner]. Damn it, you change it to 'returning the jade annulus to Tai(wan).'”

”Yes,” Wei Xiaobao said, ”It was 'returning the jade annulus to Zhao'. Just now I could not recall this character 'Zhao'. Zhao Qian Sun Li, Zhou Wu Chen Wang. The 'Hundred Family Names' lists 'Zhao' as the number one, no wonder they are flourishing so much, turns out the jade annulus and what have you are all returned to their Zhao family.”

Kangxi was even more amused; he thought that this man was 'without learning or knowledge', and he could not be taught too much either. Kangxi laughed and said, ”Very true, very true. There is another saying, 'Wei bian san jue' [lit. the leather binding of the bamboo scrolls has broken three times; fig. to study diligently.]. It speaks about your Wei family being industrious in studying. Their learning is very good. You, surnamed Wei, are also very remarkable.”

Wei Xiaobao said, ”Your servant's learning is very lacking, I am letting my old Wei ancestors down.”

(Book note: In the saying 'the leather binding of the bamboo scrolls has broken three times', the character 'Wei' [which is Wei Xiaobao's surname, 'wei' itself means 'soft leather'] points to the leather strap boring through and joining the bamboo writing slips in ancient China. Kangxi deliberately distorted it to make fun of Wei Xiaobao.)

Kangxi said, ”This time going to Taiwan for disaster relief effort …” Originally, according to reason, he should have sent Wei Xiaobao to handle this matter; but then he had a second thought, ”This man contributes this large amount of money, only because he holds yi qi toward me, not necessarily because he really has love toward common people. I am afraid that as soon as he is out of the Palace's gate, he would immediately regret it. If he went to Taiwan to distribute two million taels disaster relief, most probably he would want to recover his capital to avoid suffering loss. Perhaps he would even add one percent or two as the interest.” He knew Wei Xiaobao as well as he knew himself, immediately he changed his statement, ”… is a very easy mission; there is no need for you to handle it personally. Xiao Guizi, your First-class Duke of Luding need not be degraded. Let my sister's son light the lantern, business as usual.”

Wei Xiaobao kneeled down to express his gratitude. After kowtowing, he stood up and said, ”Your servant donate a little bit of money, it is only returning the jade annulus to … to Zhao Qian Sun Li, but Your Majesty consider it as meritorious service. Your Majesty reduces the clothes, reduce the meals, that is real saving, and that is really not easy to do.”

Kangxi shook his head and said, ”Wrong. Everything in the Palace, each tael of silver comes from common people under the heaven. Common people supply my brocade garments, jade meals. I lord over all the people, I should spare no effort in working for the common people. You eat official salary from your ruler, you should be loyal to your master. I eat official salary from the people, I should be loyal to the people. The ancient book says, 'four oceans exhausted, possession of the empire will be used up'. If common people are destitute, that means the Emperor is no good, the Heaven will be furious, then I can't be the Emperor anymore.”

”That must not happen,” Wei Xiaobao said, ”Absolutely must never happen.”

Kangxi said, ”You became a high-ranking minister, it was due to my grace. I became the Emperor, it was due to the Heaven's grace. If you are not being loyal, I will chop your head. If I don't become a good Emperor, the Heaven may replace me with someone else. The 'Book of History' says, 'Heaven and Earth will correct their primary son'. Primary son [yuan zi] here means the Emperor. If the Emperor is not good, the Heaven might oust him.”

”Yes, yes,” Wei Xiaobao said. But in his heart he thought, ”In round dumpling [圆子 - yuanzi] soup, all the dumplings look the same.” In any case, he did not know the character 'yuan' [元] from 'xuan' [玄], so why bother explaining it to him?

From his desk Kangxi picked up a book and said, ”The inspector-general of Zhejiang presented a book to me, called 'Ming Yi Dai Fang Lu' [investigative record of Ming-barbarians dealing][39], written by Zhejiang man Huang Lizhou just recently. Zhejiang's inspector-general reported that the book contains a lot of treason and heresy, and is asking for stricter investigation. I was just looking at the book, but I think this book makes a lot of sense. I have already written my comment on the report to Zhejiang's inspector-general, telling him not to be meddlesome.”

While saying that, he opened the book and said, ”In his book he said that as a ruler, 'one man receives order from the world', and not 'the world receives order from one man'; this idea is well said. He also said, 'The Son of Heaven is not necessarily right, the Son of Heaven is not necessarily wrong.' This is also very true. Which man is not? The Son of Heaven is also a man, how could as soon as he became the Emperor, 'everything is right, he is never wrong'?”

After speaking for a while, Kangxi noticed that although Wei Xiaobao repeatedly voiced his agreement, his face showed that he was at a loss; he could not help feeling amused inwardly. Kangxi thought, ”I am talking about big principles with this little ruffian, how can he understand? If I continued on, I am afraid he would yawn repeatedly.” Thereupon he waved his left hand and said, ”You may go.” But his right hand was still holding the book, his mouth was still reading aloud, ”To think that the authority over the land under the heavens, good or bad, is in my hand, I must not use the world's goodness entirely for myself, and use the world's badness entirely for the people. I must not dare being selfish in employing the people under the heavens, must not dare to use it for my own benefit. If I use my private life to be fair to the world, only then will the shame gone, and long-term peace come, regarding the world as the most important estate, to be passed on to my offspring, for endless enjoyment.”

To Wei Xiaobao, all these were unfathomable mystery; but the Emperor was reading a book, so he had no choice but to repeatedly praised him, how could he not sing Kangxi's praise from the side? Seeing Kangxi putting down the book, he asked, ”Your Majesty, what is the book talking about? What is so good about it?”

Kangxi replied, ”He said that the person who became the Emperor was calling the people under the heavens not to be selfish, must not seek their own benefit, only he, the Emperor, may have no regard for others, as well as have everything for self and selfish profit; he could go as far as saying that he was the great ruler of the world. At first the person who became the emperor did not feel right, he felt rather ashamed instead, but later on the habit became nature, unexpectedly he thought he was absolutely right, other people were wrong.”

Wei Xiaobao said, ”This man must be talking about bad emperor. Applied to a raw bird fish soup emperor like Your Majesty, what he said is wrong.”

”Hey, hey!” Kangxi said, ”Everybody who became the emperor thought that he was a raw bird fish soup; who has ever resigned himself to be called a cruel, tyrannical ruler? To say nothing of by each muddleheaded ruler's side, there must be a lot of shameless high-ranking ministers to sing him praises, elevating the muddleheaded ruler to be a raw bird fish soup.”

Wei Xiaobao laughed and said, ”Fortunately Your Majesty is genuine goods at fair prices, an unalterable raw bird fish soup. Otherwise, your servant would become one of those shameless high-ranking ministers.”

Kangxi's left foot stomped the ground and he said with a laugh, ”You have a lot of shame; get your egg out of here!”

”Your Majesty,” Wei Xiaobao said, ”Your servant wants to ask for your grace, would Your Majesty grant your servant a leave, so that I can go to Yangzhou to see my mother.”

Kangxi smiled and said, ”You have this filial piety; that is how it should be. Besides, 'riches and honor do not return to the homeland, it is like wearing brocade clothes on a night walk'. You ought to go back in grandiose. The sooner you leave, the sooner you will return. Bring your mother back to Beijing. I will have an imperial decree to confer your mother the title of one-pin rank grand madame. Your deceased old man's name, submit a report to the Ministry of Appointments, let him be conferred an official position posthumously. We should have had this matter dealt with the last time you went to Yangzhou, it's just that Wu Sangui happened to rebel at the same time that it is delayed until now.”

He thought that most likely Wei Xiaobao did not know how to write his father's name, and thus he did not inquire. Although Kangxi was brilliant, in this matter he only 'knew one but did not know two'. While it was true that Wei Xiaobao did not know how to write his father's name, the actual fact was: he did not even know who his father was.

Wei Xiaobao thanked Kangxi for his grace, and left the Palace. He returned to his mansion to fetch the million and a half taels banknotes, and handed it over to the Ministry of Revenue's 'silver warehouse'. And then he went to the Ministry of War to return the official seal of authority of the 'Great General Fuyuan'. Lastly, he asked Su Quan to pick a name of his father on his behalf, as well as names of his ancestors up to the third generation, along with their wives and concubines. He had everything copied clearly, and then he submitted it to the Ministry of Appointments to be conferred posthumous, inherited, government-appointed hereditary official title of 'Yan Feng Si' [lit. officer in charge of examining titles bestowed by the imperial court].

Everything was settled, travel preparation was completed. Wei Xiaobao was quite popular in the imperial court, plus he was a grand relative of the holy family; princes, dukes and high-ranking ministers held a send-off banquet for him, it was very lively. At the point of departure Wei Xiaobao remembered the million and a half taels he donated, and his heart ached; thereupon he sent his personal guards to extort more than ten thousand taels from Zheng Keshuang as the 'old debt'. Only then did they leave the Capital.

From Han Lu [Han Street] they reached Tongzhou [district, east of Beijing], where they boarded boats, and sailed along the canal southward, passing Tianjin, Linqing, crossing the Yellow River, passing Ji Ning, and one day arrived at Huaiyin [district, Jiangsu]. The official boat anchored at Siyangji [county, Jiangsu] to spend the night there.

Wei Xiaobao and his seven wives sat on the boat, chatting while having dinner. Su Quan said, ”Xiaobao, tomorrow we will arrive at Huaiyin. In the old days, there was one man whose nobility title was Marquis of Huaiyin …”