Part 18 (1/2)
SITTING BY MYSELF, AND THOUGHTFUL.
Alone? no never! that broad eye, Which fills all s.p.a.ce, is here; My secret thoughts and actions he, Reveal'd as daylight clear.
I would not from Thy presence fly, Thee only, would I love; With greater circ.u.mspection try In Thy commands to move.
If in my heart I aught disguise, The lurking evil slay; If aught than Thee more highly prize, O take it, Lord, away!
”1859.--I concluded the year by reading the Epistle to the Philippians, and prayer. My soul longs for a richer baptism of love, I am as well as usual, and my soul pants after G.o.d. I feel the word precious while I read, and thirst for a fuller manifestation of G.o.d.
While thus employed, I enjoy sweet peace through Jesus. Here hangs my hope of heaven; and though I have many a conflict with unbelief, my heart is fixed.”
THOUGHTS ON EZEKIEL'S VISION, CHAPTERS 43 AND 48.
EZEKIEL XLVIII. 35.
'The Lord is there!' O happy place!
Where G.o.d in Christ unveils His face; The city and the people bear His glorious name--'The Lord is there.'
The house all symmetry within, The wors.h.i.+ppers all white and clean; How l.u.s.trous is the scene, and rare!
It must be so--'The Lord is there.'
There, from beneath the threshold, teems The tide of truth in living streams; And those who drink the waters, share Eternal life--'The Lord is there.'
The crystal waves spread deep and wide; Salvation rolls upon the tide; So copious is the flood, we dare No longer doubt--'The Lord is there.'
The healing virtue never fails; For all 'who will,' it still avails; Within the city brought, they wear A kingly crown--'The Lord is there.'
The glory of the Lord is seen, His voice is heard by all within; The tribes of Israel are _His_ care, Who reigns, the Lord for ever there.
”While reading and meditating on Ezekiel's vision, my spirit was refreshed; and in the evening, while praying with my servant, my soul rejoiced in G.o.d my Saviour. Tears of joy ran down my eyes, and my soul overflowed.--Six years my dear John has been in paradise, and I am still endeavouring to urge on my way; feeble, yet pursuing. Praise G.o.d for the encouragement I feel. Jesus is all the world to me; there is nothing in my estimation equal to Him;--nothing I desire in comparison of Him.--In the world there appears to be a glorious movement towards G.o.d. The latter-day glory hastens on. India is quiet, and China opens her arms to the truth. In America, Scotland, and Wales, the Spirit is descending plenteously. O praise the Lord, for He shall reign; 'the government shall be upon His shoulder.'--Walked as far as Heworth Chapel, and called upon Miss C.; she asked me to pray with her, being herself an invalid. Cause of grat.i.tude, being my longest walk this year. The present circ.u.mstances of my children call for earnest persevering prayer. Let Thy Spirit help me.--The beauties of inanimate nature have this week exhibited the finger of G.o.d in the rising bud, and opening flower. May I, to whom is given, an intelligent mind, while beholding these works of Thine, be drawn into closer union with Thyself. Yea, while my hand directs the pen, let my soul a.s.similate to Thy likeness: make me one with Thee. Glory be to G.o.d, I feel there is union, for G.o.d is love: but enlarge and fill my soul with all Thy fulness.--This afternoon the young clergyman visited me, and made inquiries after my spiritual welfare. My heart clave unto him; and after he had prayed, I heartily wished him success in his ministry.
Tidings have reached me, that my son John is going as a Missionary to Germany: may it be of the Lord. My soul is exceedingly drawn out in prayer that it may be so; and that it may be a blessing both to him and the people among whom he is about to labour.--I am this day seventy-seven years old. How quickly time departs! I lack words to express the manifold mercies of my heavenly Father during the past year. One above all, is the return of my Missionary son, after twenty-one years' absence; and his, and his family's kindness. Bless the Lord, O my soul.--Felt impressed to go and visit Mrs. M--, whom I visited once last year; went, and had a happy interview.
Hallow'd is the hour of prayer, When the Spirit helps me there; When the soul is drawn above, Borne on wings of faith and love; Then, released from earth, I rise Far beyond the starry skies; See, in Christ's atonement free, Life for all mankind, and me.
”Mrs. C. called, and kindly took me to Cla.s.s. I gave out the hymn my Eliza sang the day before she died, and prayed with them.--I have been led by the Spirit of G.o.d to my knees, and find it no vain thing to wait upon the Lord. I am urged to look after my pet.i.tions, and feel it good to be thus reminded.--Mrs. Hartley called to bid me good-bye. I felt it very good while we prayed together. On her return to the city she was taken very ill, and sent a request by my daughter, that I would pray for her. I will. Felt blest in doing so.--My two sons are going to widely distant localities, but in their Master's field. Oh!
how my heart longs that they may be richly endued with power from on high, and made abundantly useful among those with whom they mingle, and that many may be the saved of the Lord. John Arthur and David are also, this day, going on the Lord's errand. O bless the lads!
Make them wise to win souls to Jesus. My soul longs for their prosperity.--Nine of my dear grandchildren took tea with us. For these and all the rest my soul earnestly longs, that we may be an undivided family above. I was blest while praying with them.--My dear son John and his wife, with five children, left us on their way to Germany, hoping to reach London this evening. O Lord, prosper Thou his journey to yonder land! I feel deeply for him. O bless him, Lord!”
Oh! what a world of care, Anxiety and grief!
How multiplied our sorrows are!
Where shall we find relief?
Our lov'd ones come, and glad we are To see their smiling face; But brief these transient visits are, And _then_, the last embrace.
”Mrs. Nightingale came to meet two women in distress for their souls.
They wept sore, and found encouragement. I felt it good to mingle my pet.i.tions with their's. [This was the commencement of a cla.s.s at her own residence, conducted by Mrs. N., and formed especially for my mother's accommodation. Up to this time she was nominally a leader, but since her removal to Heworth, she had but very occasionally been able to ride down to the city, and mingle in the communion of saints, a privilege, the loss of which she had deeply felt. The provision thus made was therefore a source of unspeakable comfort. Mrs. Nightingale says, ”We found her at the appointed time, but oftener before, sitting in prayerful silence, waiting upon G.o.d. At such times her countenance was most heavenly; lit up with a light and glory, which bespoke her relation to, and hidden life with, her divine Lord. It was our privilege, when she was able, to listen to the words of wisdom and instruction which fell from her lips. Her deep acquaintance with the word of G.o.d, and the holy unction with which she spoke, caused those present to say, 'This is none other but the house of G.o.d, and this is the gate of heaven.' Love to G.o.d and the souls of men burned brightly on the altar of her heart. This was seen in the deep interest she took in each member of the cla.s.s, and in her prayerful concern for the members of her own family. 'G.o.d is giving me answers to my prayers both on behalf of my children and grandchildren,' she would say. But there were aspirations of soul after higher forms of spiritual life, which could only be realized in the fruition of the divine presence.
For increase of years she made but little allowance, so that, whilst her love to G.o.d and heavenly meekness became increasingly apparent to others, her diminished energy was sometimes to herself the occasion of painful conflict and introspection.”] Before I awoke I thought a letter was put into my hands, the contents of which were 'Through much tribulation ye shall enter the kingdom.” The Lord giving me power, I will fight my pa.s.sage through.--Through the intensity of the weather, and my own increasing indisposition, I have been compelled to keep my bed; but prayer has been the life of my soul;--the only sure refuge in trouble. Much drawn out for my dear John, who, we expect, is this day holding an important meeting.--The year is quickly pa.s.sing into eternity. It tarries not, nor waiteth the hurried one to free. Defer not, for the moment will soon pa.s.s away. Now touch the golden sceptre while it is called to-day. Believe, believe in Jesus, who gave His life for _you_. Accept the rich gratuity, for He hath purchased you.”
”1860.--Although not able to sit up to welcome the new year, it broke upon me with these words--