Part 15 (1/2)
”It'll only take a minute. It's important.”
”I can clean up here,” Starr a.s.sured her, grabbing the spoon from her hand. ”Go ahead.”
Peyton reluctantly followed Chase to the other end of the camp, arms folded across her chest. ”What?” she asked when they were alone.
”I wanted to apologize,” he said. ”I screwed up and I know it. I was irresponsible. It won't happen again.”
”You're right. It won't. Because I'm taking the watch from now on.” She'd stayed up the rest of last night and it showed on her face, he realized. Dark circles haunted her eyes and her face looked gaunt.
”Peyton, that's ridiculous. You have to sleep sometime,” he protested.
He could see her struggling to keep her face even. ”I'll figure something out.”
”You don't have to. I can help,” he cried. ”I won't take more pills. I promise. I'll just take aspirin if my face hurts from now on.”
She ran a hand through her hair, staring off into the distance, looking this close to breaking-to totally falling apart. She was trying so desperately to be strong. But he could see the cracks around the edges. She was scared. And it was his fault. The thought crushed him.
”I want to be able to believe you,” she said at last, her voice choked. ”But it's not just me I have to be think about. It's the kids, too. They depend on you. I know you were forced into this when Tank died-that it wasn't what you wanted-but-”
”It is what I want,” he cried, feeling anguished, desperate to have her believe him. ”I love the kids with all my heart. I would gladly die for them if I had to.” He would, too, he realized. He'd die for any one of them. And for her, too, if need be. He loved them all. From loud-mouth Red to sweet little Suns.h.i.+ne. And he'd do anything to keep them safe. Even giving up the drugs.
He realized, suddenly, what he had to do. Reaching into his pocket with trembling hands, he pulled out his precious prescription bottle. It took everything inside of him, but he managed to drop it into her hands.
”Get rid of them,” he told her, his voice hoa.r.s.e. ”Throw them away and never let me see them again. I'm done with them forever. From here on out I only have one priority. Getting you and the children to Disney World.”
Peyton looked down at the bottle, then up at him. ”Are you sure about this?” she asked.
He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure at all. Half of him wanted to grab the bottle and take it all back. Figure out another way to get back in her good graces. One that didn't involve sleepless, agonizing nights filled with pain. The cut on his cheek stung just thinking about it.
But it was the only way and he knew it. And Peyton and the children were worth it.
”I'm sure,” he said, firming his resolve. ”No more drugs. No more letting you down. You can rely on me from here on out; I swear it.” He gave her a hopeful smile.
She didn't smile back. ”I hope so,” she said, stuffing the bottle in her pocket and turning to walk away. ”I really hope so.”
Chapter Twenty-five.
Peyton ran down the street, tears blinding her. She knew she should go to the market, should stand in line as her mother had asked her to and collect the food they needed to stay in good health. But she couldn't bring herself to go. Not yet.
She didn't know where she was running and surprised herself when she ended up at Chris Parker's house. It was weird to think the boy she'd barely tolerated for so many years had become her number one source of comfort.
Banging on the door, she prayed he was home. Home and- A crazy thought struck her. What if he was sick, too? What if everyone was sick? Everyone but her. She tried to decide which would be worse: dying, or being the only one left alive. Both options seemed beyond awful.
The door swung open. A six-year-old, dark-skinned girl peered out with huge almond-shaped eyes. She was dressed in a pair of cut-off jeans, as was the fas.h.i.+on, and a beaded silver top.
”Um, hi,” Peyton said. ”Is Chris here?”
”Chris!” the girl called loudly, not bothering to turn around.
”Yeah?” a voice in the distance called back. Peyton let out the breath she hadn't realized she was holding. He was okay. He was alive.
”Some girl at the door.”
”Who?”
The little girl looked up at Peyton with a mixture of boredom and inquiry.
”Peyton,” she said.
”Peyton!” the girl repeated loudly for Chris's benefit.
”Be right there.”
The child snapped her gum. ”He'll be right here,” she said unnecessarily, not unblocking the door to let Peyton inside. The whole scene was just so normal that she found herself relaxing. The entire world wasn't crazy. At least not yet.
”Um, yeah. Thanks.”
A moment later, Chris appeared. He ruffled the little sentry's hair. ”You can let her in, you know, Tara,” he told her. Then he turned to Peyton. ”Don't mind her,” he said fondly. ”She's just overprotective.” He shuffled her away from the door and beckoned for Peyton to enter.
She followed him down into a finished bas.e.m.e.nt packed with sim decks and other electronic equipment. He invited her to sit down on the red plaid sofa and asked if she wanted a drink.
She shook her head. ”No, thank you.”
”Are you sure?” He looked down at her, concerned. ”You look pale. Maybe some water?”
She nodded. ”Okay.”
He pressed a b.u.t.ton on the refrigeration unit at the far end of the room. A bottle of water popped out of the slot below. He handed it to her.
”How have you been?” he asked, sitting down beside her. ”Still thinking about Mt. Holyoke?”
She shrugged, pulling her legs up under her. Taking a sip of the water, she tried to decide how best to answer the question. She hadn't forgotten the monster, of course. But now it seemed almost irrelevant, given the news she'd received a few minutes before. ”I went by Avery's today,” she told him, her voice shaking. ”And she's... she's sick.”
”Oh, Peyton, I'm sorry.” Chris leaned over and pulled her into a huge hug. That was all it took for her to lose her last semblance of control. Tears flowed from her eyes, soaking his t-s.h.i.+rt. Feeling embarra.s.sed, she tried to pull away, but he held her tight, stroking her back with gentle fingers.
”She's my best friend,” Peyton sobbed. ”What if she dies? What if everyone dies? If kids are now getting it, then what hope do the rest of us have?”
”Can I ask you a personal question?”
”Sure,” she said, wondering what on Earth he was going to say.
”Have you gotten your AIDS vaccine?”