Chapter 13.2 (2/2)

“From what time did you fall in love with me?”

“Long long ago.”

“How long?”

“As early as when you don’t know.”

I am not at all satisfied with his answer at all, “How long?”

He said, “When you hit me with the ice cream.”

If I believe him—— it’ll be just too strange!

The things he usually does not allow me to do was many, in order for me to avoid bending down to tie my shoelaces, he bought me a bunch of lace-less flat shoes. Every time we went out he would squat down to lift my heel for me, as if I bent down you could see the gleam of little soy bean. As for avoiding certain food there were plenty. I’m not allowed to eat spicy, saying there’s too much heat, every day he forced me to eat fish and meat, or else it was eating fruits, causing me to be like a panda, growing plump and round.

As for the check up, he drew a circle on the calendar every time. Regarding the small bean in my brain, he was more cautious than I was, and sometimes when I was nervous about little soy bean in my belly, he tried to comfort me, “everything is fine.”

Every time he accompanied me to the hospital for examination, he didn’t let me talk to the doctor, in fact I didn’t especially think about the small bean in my brain, as long as I mentioned the topic, he would try to change the subject.

I have to consult a psychologist, the results the doctor told me to take the matter seriously, “This is typical anxiety for a expecting father, let him come himself to cooperate with the treatment.”

But Lu Yu Jiang simply refused to go to see a psychologist, he also stubbornly defended himself, “I’m not sick.”

He is not sick, but I’m almost going crazy because of him.

Thank heavens being pregnant only last for ten months, thank G.o.d the small bean in my brain has been safe and sound. I know the stepmother who wrote my story also felt that it’s too cruel to give me a terminally illness, so she let me off. But she also deliberately want to give me a hard time, so she set up Lu Yu Jiang to torture me, tortured me until I’m in labor. Just when I was on the verge of collapsing, when I had an argument with Lu Yu Jiang, my stomach finally had movements.

I spent all night in the hospital ward, Lu Yu Jiang already booked the room in advance. The present hospital service is good, and there’s also parturient meals options. After I had the small bean in my brain examined, there was no signs of deterioration. The old professor of neurology was amazed, “This is a miracle.”

I was thankful that my luck has been good, I encounter the ten percent hope, while I felt lucky I told the old professor, “If you don’t fight for it, miracles will never happen.”

I admit that I am actually very timid, I want a child, but I also want to live, fate forced me to choose one of the two, I can only rush into danger. I also didn’t expect to come out of the cliff unscathed step by step, the so-called miracle was G.o.d letting some ray of light through his fingers.

Although it was little, but it was always there.

Very early on we decided on caesarean section, because Lu Yu Jiang was worried about labour being too painful, just in case any mishap may occur to the small bean in my brain. While I was on the train seeing the labor process I was frightened by the scene, I had a psychological shadow within, so pus.h.i.+ng the boat along with the current [4], I also nodded agreeing with the caesarean section option.

[4] 顺水推舟 Shùn Shuǐ Tuī Zhōu: Make use of an opportunity to achieve one’s end; make use of the favourable current situation to push matters through with little effort; turn any favourable factors to account so that the least effort would produce the results desired

Even my own due date I did not remember, because I even forget my relatives visiting date (she’s referring to her period), fortunately, Lu Yu Jiang remember, so the doctors calculated, I did not think our baby was so impatient, about a week early, she/he simply cannot wait to come out. But I admire Lu Yu Jiang the most, just taking tonight’s incident as an example, I slept in a dazedly, I just felt a little uncomfortable, he suddenly got up, asked me, “Are you having contractions? Let’s go to the hospital!” I really don’t know how he knew. This man knew me inside out, no wonder I was defeated in his hands for so many years, you must know yourself as well as the enemy, If I won him it would have been too strange.

The caesarean operation was small, the doctor did not give me a general anaesthesia, soon I heard our baby crying, I struggled wanting to turn my head to have a look, “where’s the baby?”

“You’re already someone’s mother, why are you impatient like a child, we just open it and have a little fist stretch out, we will carry the baby to you as soon as possible.” While speaking the doctor hastily wrapped the child and gave her/him to me, “Come, dear one!”

I was lying on the operation table, so I could only to see the child’s face inclined. I did not see what she/he looked like, I could only to see her/him mouth crying very loudly. I don’t know why I was shedding tears, I kissed my baby’s face, so soft, so sweet. This is little soy bean, this is my baby, I finally can see her today, the baby I used my life to give birth to. Not waiting for me to look long enough, the doctor took my baby away.

The operation to take the baby out was not long, but having the st.i.tches done took a really long time ah, this is the only experience I felt about giving birth.

It was only after coming out of the operation room, that I knew I had a daughter, seven jin[5] and six pounds. As soon as I left the operation room Lu Yu Jiang was there waiting for me, leaning on my bed and he said to me, “My daughter is really beautiful, just like you!”

[5] 斤 Jīn is 1/2 kilogram

I never felt I was beautiful, but this moment I believed him, because he was holding my hand, his palm was full of sweat, his forehead was also full of sweat, while waiting outside the operation room he must have be more tense than I was. As he bent to kiss my forehead, there are two drops of warm substances on my brow. This man, unexpectedly also cried. I looked up, he had tears in his eyes, in the moment of being moved I said, “Why don’t we try to have a son in the future, you are your family’s only son of five generations!”

His complexion suddenly changed as he yell at me, “Don’t even think about!”

Such inhumanity!

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