Part 19 (1/2)
Bobby's heartbeat blasted his chest. He didn't need another conscience, another troubled voice. ”Don't do this to me, Mike.”
”But it isn't fair to the baby.”
”I'll be good to my son or daughter. I'll do whatever I can to make the child's life secure. That baby means everything to me.” ”I know. But it'll still be a b.a.s.t.a.r.d.” Michael blew a rough breath, pushed his chair back and glanced at the wet bar. ”I could use some coffee. Do you want some?”
Bobby tried to act casual, tried to act as if his heart wasn't steeped in guilt. ”That sludge you make?”
”I suppose not.” The younger man rose to pour himself a cup of the thick, dark brew. ”I just wanted to tell you how I feel.”
”And I respect your feelings. I understand them. h.e.l.l, I'm the one who instilled those values in you.”
Michael tasted the coffee. He stood near the window, the light s.h.i.+ning behind him. ”That's right, you did.
And you told me that if I ever got a girl pregnant I should marry her. That I shouldn't do what my dad did.” ”This is different.” ”Is it, Uncle?” ”Yes, it is,” Bobby said, although at the moment he couldn't find the words to explain why. * * *
On Friday morning the doorbell rang, sending Julianne rus.h.i.+ng from the bathroom into the living room, fussing with her appearance along the way. She wasn't expecting Bobby, not this early. She was dressed, but she'd yet to do her hair or makeup.
Why didn't he call? Warn her that he was on his way? Breathless, she answered the door and discovered Maria on the other side. TheLatinawoman smiled. ”SenoritaJulianne, I came to welcome you.” She held up a platter of what appeared to be brownies. ”You've been here almost three weeks. I should have stopped by sooner.”
Touched, Julianne accepted the gift. ”They smell heavenly.”
”I made them especially for you.Senor Bobby says you have cravings.”
”Yes, thank you.” She felt her heart flutter, her mind race. Bobby had been talking about her to his
employees? ”Come in, please.”
She offered Maria a cup of tea and they sat at the breakfast nook, sipping chamomile and enjoying double-fudge brownies. ”SenorBobby is happy man.” ”He is?” ”Si, yes. Very happy about the baby.” ”I'm happy, too.” She touched her tummy. ”I've always wanted children. Do you have a family?” ”No. No husband, no babies.” Maria laughed, patted her salt-and-pepper hair. ”I'm too old now.” So am I, Juliannethought. Older than most first-time moms. She looked at Maria and wondered if the woman was still in love with Lloyd, if he was the man she'd hoped, many years before, to many and have children with.
”Did you grow up in this area?” Julianne asked.
”Si,and I've worked here sinceSenor Bobby built the ranch.” Then Maria had been around when Bobby had marriedSharon. The mystery wife. The ghost. The ladyJulianne wanted to know more about.
Dare she ask?
She reached for another brownie. One simple question wouldn't hurt. She lived inSharon's old house.She had a right to be curious about her. ”Maria?” ”Si?”The woman glanced up from her tea. She sat at the cozy table, the morning sun spilling in from the window beside her, illuminating her colorful cotton blouse.
”Did you know Bobby's wife very well?”
Maria sighed. ”Si, yes, I knewSharon. But I did not approve of her. I felt badly about that later. So ashamed.”
For a moment Julianne merely stared. Maria didn't appear to be judgmental, a person who would discount someone so readily.
”Why did you disapprove?”
”I thought she was too young forSenor Bobby.”
”Too young?” A familiar pain shocked Julianne's system. A pain of betrayal. A pain of disbelief. ”How old was she?”
”Twenty when they started dating, twenty-one when they married.Sharonwas the same age a.s.senor Michael, notSenor Bobby. To me, it seemed strange. Mixed up, no?”
”Yes.” Strange. Mixed up. Hurtful. Bobby's wife had been as young as his nephew, as young as the boy he'd raised seventeen years his junior.
Yet Bobby had never said a word, not one single word. Not even when Julianne had confided in him about her ex-husband's affair with a younger woman.
”Wa.s.sharonpretty?” she asked, fighting tears.
”Si. Very pretty. A college student.” Maria dropped her gaze. ”I should not have disapproved of her.”
Julianne blinked back another threat of tears, doing her d.a.m.nedest to steel her emotions, to tell herself that Bobby's past didn't matter.
She wouldn't cry, d.a.m.n it. She wouldn't lose her composure over this.
Maria looked up. ”I never toldSenor Bobby how I felt. I did not think it was my place.”
Is it my place?Julianne wondered, battling the ache in her chest.My right to confront him?
Or should she let it go? Ignore it? Pretend she'd never found out?
”Maybe we should talk about something else,” Maria suggested. ”Something happier.”
Julianne nodded and then faked her way through a lighthearted conversation.
Fifteen minutes later, after Maria left, she went back into the bathroom to finish getting ready.
To work on her appearance, to look presentable, to stay strong.
But even after she'd curled her hair and applied cosmetics to her face, she knew her efforts were in vain.
She'd made herself look as pretty as possible, but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't make herself twenty again.
She couldn't compete with Bobby's attraction to younger women.
And because she couldn't, she turned away from the mirror and started to cry.
In the next instant her knees buckled and she sank to the floor, allowing tears to flood the gaping hole in
her heart.