Part 13 (1/2)

d.i.c.k. (_crosses to ALMA_) Hallo! You here? Seen the notices? (_NED crosses R._)

ALMA. Of the new piece?

NED. The one you thought so highly of?

d.i.c.k. Did I think highly of it?

ALMA. Didn't you say the booking after the first night would be a caution?

d.i.c.k. So it is. Two stalls.

NED. I heard it wasn't a success.

d.i.c.k. (_producing a sheaf of newspaper cuttings_) _Morning News:_ ”It is not often that we have to chronicle so signal a fiasco.” _Daily Post:_ ”Seldom of late years has a first night audience been so emphatic in its condemnation.” _Evening Mail:_ ”The play is absolutely dest.i.tute of merit.” _Sunday Slogger:_ ”A striking instance of the inept.i.tude, incompetence, and imbecility of our native playwrights.”

What do you think of that?

NED. I'm very sorry for poor Sparkle's sake. (_ALMA crosses to sofa_)

d.i.c.k. Hang Sparkle! I'm sorry for my own sake. Very annoying. I particularly wanted this to be a go.

ALMA. Because I wasn't in it. (_leaning on back of sofa_)

d.i.c.k. Miss Blake has a notion we can't do without her.

NED. It appears you can't.

d.i.c.k. All the more reason she should think we can. _I_ don't know what the public see in her. Miss Blake's always Miss Blake.

ALMA. That's what they like, my dear.

d.i.c.k. I don't care what the part is!

ALMA. Nor do they.

d.i.c.k. Well, if they want you they shall have you. Now, look here. (_to NED_) I'll make you a proposition. If you'll let Sparkle look over your comedy, write up Blake's part, re-cast the plot, and smarten up the dialogue, I'll bring the piece out under Sparkle's name, pay him the fees, and--and your fortune's made. (_ALMA comes down, C._)

NED. Let Sparkle hack about my piece? Sparkle, who's just made this fiasco?

d.i.c.k. Sparkle has such a name.

ALMA. Yes--for fiascos.

d.i.c.k. Never mind what it's for--he has a name.

NED. No, Mr. d.i.c.k, no!

d.i.c.k. You refuse?

NED. Decidedly. (_goes up to L.C., sits at table_)