Part 30 (1/2)

Emily bit back a moan as she s.h.i.+fted her hips to get away from him. His touch wasn't nearly as painful as her own but it didn't feel good either-it was too intense-too much somehow.

”What's wrong with me?” she asked, frustrated almost to tears. ”All this time even when I couldn't touch myself-my b.r.e.a.s.t.s I mean-at least you could touch them. And now...this. What the h.e.l.l is going on?”

”Your p.u.s.s.y honey simply needs to flow,” Tragar rumbled. ”But it cannot-like your nectar, it's being inhibited.”

Emily bit her lip. ”By the star-silver thing I used, right?”

”Possibly. For whatever reason, this happens to Khalla sometimes when they enter Vlammen. They grow incredibly sensitive when their honey needs to flow.”

”So then...there must be a cure, right? Some way to make things all better?” Emily looked at him hopefully.

He nodded. ”There is. It is called the Healing Kiss. Traditionally it is given only by the Khalla's chosen mate.”

”Okay.” Emily felt a surge of relief. ”So you just need to kiss me? No problem.” She was so eager to feel better that she leaned forward and wrapped her arms around the big Kindred's neck and pulled him in close. His warm scent invaded her senses and she pressed her mouth to his, taking his sensual lips in a heated kiss she could feel all the way down to her toes.

Tragar seemed surprised at first but then he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her back, exploring her mouth gently before sucking her tongue into his mouth until Emily moaned with breathless pleasure. G.o.d, he tasted good! Hot and spicy like cinnamon candy-the flavor of his mouth was wild and delicious and completely addictive.

She loved the feeling of being in his arms, feeling safe and protected and wanted but she needed to get closer to him, to thrust against him until she could feel his big, hard body pressed against every inch of hers. More...need more! whispered an urgent little voice in her head.

But when she pushed closer, the leather of his black vest rubbed against her tender nipples painfully, sending flashes of agony from her pink peaks all the way down to her p.u.s.s.y. Emily gave a little cry and drew back, breaking the kiss abruptly.

”Are you all right?” Tragar's voice was a soft growl of l.u.s.t but the look in his eyes was concerned.

”Fine, I just...I rubbed against you the wrong way is all.” She nodded down at her exposed b.r.e.a.s.t.s. ”Sorry.”

”I am the one who is sorry. I would never want to cause you any kind of pain, my Khalla.” He bent to kiss her hurt nipples gently, sending a s.h.i.+ver through her.

”So was that right?” she asked, trying to ignore the urgent need she felt to press her b.r.e.a.s.t.s to his mouth and beg him to kiss them again. ”Am I, uh, healed?” Without waiting for his answer, she reached between her legs to cup her p.u.s.s.y. The stab of pain she felt at her own touch made her gasp and pull back her hand as though she'd been burned. ”Ow!”

”Are you all right?” Tragar asked at once.

”No! I thought you said the Healing Kiss would help. But I still can't touch myself and I still feel all swollen and tense.” Emily wanted to cry with frustration. ”Why didn't it work? Did we do it wrong?”

”It didn't work because the Healing Kiss is not meant to be applied to your lips,” he murmured. ”At least, not these lips.” He brushed her mouth gently with the pad of his thumb.

”What? What do you mean?” Emily looked at him uncertainly, her heart thumping.

”You know what I mean,” he said quietly. ”I am acting as your chosen mate and that is how your body reacts to me. In order to take away your pain and help your honey flow, I must kiss you Emily-kiss your soft little p.u.s.s.y until you feel better.”

”I don't...I can't...” She felt a stab of panic at the thought of letting him kiss her there-letting him put his mouth between her legs.

”Master Xen'dex thought it might come to this, though I had hoped we would reach Rageron before you entered Vlammen.” Tragar looked troubled. ”I fear it will only increase the growing dependency between us but it's the only thing that will ease your pain and allow your honey to flow.”

”But...I don't want you to do that. To kiss me there,” Emily burst out at last. ”I don't.”

He frowned. ”Are you worried I might hurt you? Or are you uncertain because you've never had your p.u.s.s.y kissed before, my Khalla?”

”It's not that I'm afraid it might hurt-you seem to know how to touch me even when I can't touch myself. It's just...” Emily closed her eyes, unable to look at him. ”Well, it's not the first time someone wanted to...to do that. I had a boyfriend in high school-a guy named Jason. I never really had any s.e.xual feelings for him...”

”Because you had not reached your Tenrah yet,” Tragar rumbled.

”Right, I guess. But he did have s.e.xual feelings for me. I mean, he was a teenaged boy, right? So of course he did. And I wanted to keep him happy so I let him...try a few things.”

Emily shuddered as she remembered the wrongness she'd felt when she allowed Jason to touch her. He'd been such a nice guy-so handsome and sweet, if a little bit clumsy-and she'd wanted so desperately to feel for him what he felt for her. But every time she let him grope her b.r.e.a.s.t.s or slip his hand under her skirt, the overwhelming waves of shame and repugnance would wash over her, so strongly sometimes that she could hardly sit still and let it happen. And then, that one night-the night he said he wanted to try something different...

”You let him taste you?” Tragar asked quietly.

Emily nodded. ”I did. I didn't want to but he wanted to try it so much and I was afraid he'd break up with me if I didn't let him do it at least once.”

”And what happened?” he asked softly. ”How did it feel?”

”Awful.” Emily couldn't hold back the s.h.i.+ver that pa.s.sed over her entire body. ”So...so wrong. I mean, it wasn't as bad as what Grayson did to me-Jason was never mean, he never held me down or forced me. But I remember just lying there, cringing and feeling so...so...”

”Violated?” he suggested softly.

”Yes. Exactly.” Emily nodded and found she was crying. She dashed the tears from her eyes angrily. ”Violated...degraded...all that and worse. I felt like I was performing some sick, twisted act or one was being performed on me. And then I couldn't stand it anymore and I pushed him away and he...”

She shook her head, not wanting to remember. It wasn't as painful as her memory of Grayson but it was no picnic either.

”He what?” Tragar's voice was a low, warning growl.

”He didn't force me or anything-not like Grayson,” Emily said quickly. ”But he said I was frigid-he said he could tell that any time I let him touch me I was just barely enduring it. He asked me what was wrong with me and I...I couldn't answer him. Because I didn't know.”

”How could you know?” Tragar asked reasonably. ”His touch felt wrong to you because he was not your kind-because he was not Kindred. A Khalla can only bear such an intimate touch from her chosen mate. Your body rejected that other male because he was not right for you.”

”I know that now.” Emily sniffed and blotted her eyes with the hem of the pale green petal s.h.i.+rt ”And I know you only want to help me. It's just...really hard to get over that memory. I think that experience is the reason it took so long for the, uh, the other to start making herself known. I didn't have any s.e.xual desire at all until I was in college and she started coming out. And of course, you know how that ended.”

”I understand your pain and reluctance.” Tragar stroked a strand of hair out of her face and cupped her cheek. ”Every male who has ever touched you has taken from you...has hurt you.”

”Every one but you,” Emily whispered, daring to look up into his eyes.

”And I won't hurt you now.” He held her gaze with his own. ”I know you have bad memories a.s.sociated with this act and I swear I wouldn't ask it of you if it wasn't necessary. But Emily, I have to ask you to trust me. Can you do that?”

”I...” She took a deep breath. ”I guess I can try.”

”Good. All I ask is that you let me kiss you just once, very gently.” He stroked her cheek, speaking softly and earnestly in that deep, growling voice of his. ”Just once and if it feels wrong and bad in any way you can tell me to stop and I will.”

Emily bit her lip, filled with uncertainty. On one hand, she really, really didn't want him to do this. Her memories of this act were so bad and wrong and painful she could barely stand to acknowledge them, much less repeat the act that had caused them. On the other hand, Tragar had seemed to know, right from the start, what was good and right for her-for her body, anyway. He hadn't steered her wrong yet and even when he'd gotten angry with her, he had never been rough or cruel. And now he was being so sweet and patient and gentle...maybe...maybe she could risk it.

”Just once?” she asked fearfully. ”And if I don't like it you'll stop?”

”Just once-I swear it on my honor as a warrior.”

The steady, honest look in his deep gold eyes decided her.

”All right,” she whispered, nodding. ”Just once. I'll let you do it just once if you really think it will help.”

”It's the only thing that can help, my Khalla.” Tragar stroked her cheek again. ”You honor me with your trust and with the gift of your body. I swear I will never treat you with anything but gentleness and respect.”

”Thank you.” Emily was touched by his little speech. It was almost as though he was swearing a vow to her, one he intended to honor no matter what.