Part 33 (1/2)

'im; wot d'ye think o' that?”

But persons in much higher station were no less at times fond of chaff, which I always took good-humouredly. A story of Lord Grimthorpe, who, many years after, had some fun with me at times over my little Jack, will appear in his reminiscences a little farther on.

I used to lead Jack with a string in the same manner as I had done the other, for educational purposes, and Lord Grimthorpe jocularly called me Jack's prisoner. But I must let him tell his own story in his own way when his turn comes.

The Midland Circuit was always famous for its ill accommodation of her Majesty's Judges, and of late years even in the supply of prisoners to keep them from loitering away their days in idleness or lonely diversions.

I always loved work and comfortable lodgings, and may say from the first to the last of my judicial days set myself to the improvement of both the work and the accommodation.

Some Judges in their charges used to discourse with the grand jury of our foreign relations, turnips, or the state of trade; but I took a more humble theme at Aylesbury, when I informed that august body that the quarters a.s.signed to her Majesty's Judges were such that an officer would hardly think them good enough to billet soldiers in.

”My rest, gentlemen, has been rudely disturbed,” said I, ”in the lodgings a.s.signed to me. My bedroom was hardly accessible, on account of what appeared to be a dense fog which was difficult to struggle through. I sought refuge in the dressing-room. Being a bitterly cold night and a very draughty room, some one had lighted a fire in it; but, unfortunately, all the smoke came down the chimney after going up a little way, bringing down as much soot as it could manage to lay hold of. All this is the fault of the antiquated chimneys and ill-contrived building generally. My marshal was the subject of equal discomfort; and I think I may congratulate you, gentlemen, not only on there being very few prisoners, but also on the fact that you are not holding an inquest on our bodies.”

The grand jury were good enough to say that there was ”an inst.i.tution called the Standing Joint Committee, who will, no doubt, inquire into your lords.h.i.+p's subject of complaint.” The ”Standing Joint Committee”

sounded powerfully, but I believe no further notice was taken, and the question dropped.

”That's a nice un,” said one of the javelin-men at the door when a friend of his came out. ”Did yer 'ear that, Jimmy? Orkins is a nice un to talk about lodgings. Let him look to his own cirkit--the 'Orne Cirkit--where my brother told me as at a trial at Guildford the tenant of that there house wouldn't pay his rent. For why? Because they was so pestered wi' wermin. And what do you think Orkins told the jury?--He was counsel for the tenant.--'Why,' he says, 'gentlemen, you heard what one of the witnesses said, how that the fleas was so outrageous that they ackshally stood on the backs o' the 'all chairs and barked at 'em as they come in.' That's Orkins on his own circuit; and 'ere he is finding fault with our lodgings.”

It was not long after my arrival at Lincoln, on the first occasion of my visiting that drowsy old ecclesiastical city, that I was waited upon, first by one benevolent body of gentlemen, and then another, all philanthropists seeking subscriptions for charitable objects.

One bitterly cold morning I was standing in my robes with my back to the fire at my lodgings, waiting to step into the carriage on my way to court, when a very polite gentleman, who headed quite a body of other polite gentlemen, asked ”if his lords.h.i.+p would do them the honour of receiving a deputation from the L. and B. Skating Club.”

I a.s.sented--nothing would give me more pleasure; and in filed the deputation, arranging themselves, hats in hand, round me in a semicircle.

”We have the honour, my lord, to call upon your lords.h.i.+p in pursuance of a resolution pa.s.sed last night at a special meeting of our club--”

”What is the name of your club?”

”The L. and B. Skating Club, my lord.”

”What is its object?”

”_Our_ object, my lord?”

”No, the object of your _society_. I can guess your object.”

The leader answered with a smile of the greatest satisfaction,--

”Er--skating, my lord.”

”Your own amus.e.m.e.nt?”

The head of the deputation bowed.

”Do you want _me_ to skate?”

”No, my lord; but we take the liberty of asking your lords.h.i.+p to kindly support our club with a subscription.”

”When I see,” I replied, ”so much poverty and misery around me which needs actual relief, and when I look at this inclement weather and think how these poor creatures must suffer from the cold, it seems to me that _they_ are the people who should apply to those who have anything to bestow in charity; not those who are the only people, as it would appear, who can take pleasure in this excruciating weather.

See if your club cannot do something for these poor sufferers instead of collecting merely for your own personal amus.e.m.e.nt; contribute to their necessities, and then come and see me again. I shall be here till Monday.”