Part 18 (2/2)

”'No, no,' said he, 'that kind of excuse will not do. One gentleman to another, indeed! Whom are you talking to? I insist on your treating me with reverence and respect. Perhaps you do not know that I am _St.

Paul_?'

”'Indeed!' said I, 'I was not aware that I was speaking to that holy Apostle, to one whom I hold in extreme reverence, and whose writings I have made my study.'”

After that, it seems, they got on very well together for the rest of the interview. Warren was able to delight him with his knowledge of Cappadocia, Phrygia, and Pamphylia, and the little incident of leaving his cloak at Troas, his s.h.i.+pwreck, and a vast number of things which the Apostle seemed very pleased to hear, while he conducted himself with that pious dignity which well deserved the obsequious reverence of the official visitor. On parting, St. Paul said,--

”You are rather _mixed in your Scriptures_; the only thing you are accurate about is _leaving my cloak at Troas_.”

On Warren's next visit he resolved to conduct himself with more reverence. St. Paul was looking much the same as on the previous occasion. Sam genuflected, and held down his head, putting his hands devoutly together, and making such other manifestations of reverence as he thought the case required.

St. Paul looked at Warren with wonderment, and was evidently by no means satisfied with his salutations.

”Who the devil,” said the madman, ”do you think you are making those idiotic signs to? Whom do you take me for?”

”St. Paul, your holiness.”

”'St. Paul, your holiness,' he repeated. 'My ----, you ought to be put into a lunatic asylum and looked after. You must be stark mad to think I am the holy Apostle St. Paul. What put that into your silly brains?

Down on your knees, villain, at once, and prostrate yourself before _the Shah of Persia_--the dawn of creation and the light of the universe!'

”I thought this was coming it pretty strong,” continued Sam, ”but as it was all in my day's work, I conformed as well as I could to my instructions. The difficulty was in knowing how to address His Majesty, so I stammered, 'Dread potentate!' and seeing it pleased him, 'Light of the universe,' I cried, 'it is morning! May I rise?'

”'I perceive,' said the Shah, 'you are a genius,'”

”What did you think of his state of mind after that?” I asked.

Sam laughed and answered: ”I thought he was getting better, more rational, and thanked him for his good opinion. 'Mighty potentate,'

said I, 'monarch of the universe, I apologize for my mistake, but I was at _St. Luke's_ yesterday,'

”'My faithful Luke!' said he, and clapped his hands. I knew once more where he was.

”'The last time,' said I (thinking I would rather have him the amiable Paul than the savage Shah), 'your Majesty informed me that you were the holy Apostle St. Paul!'

”'So I am,' answered the Shah.

”'I am at a loss, your Majesty, I humbly confess, to understand how your immortal Highness can be at one and the same time the blessed Apostle St. Paul and the Shah of Persia,'

”'Because you are such a d.a.m.ned fool!' replied His Highness.

”Here was the fierceness of the Shah, but immediately the gentleness of the Apostle restored him to a more amiable mood, and coming towards me with a smile, he said,--

”'The explanation, my dear sir, is simple;' and then, in a quiet, confidential tone, he added: '_It was the same mother, but two fathers_!'”

”I had another experience not long after in the same asylum,”

continued Warren. ”One of my patients told me he had married the devil's daughter when I was asking him about his relations. 'She was a nice girl enough,' he said, 'and although my people thought I had married beneath me, I was satisfied with her rank, seeing she was a Prince's daughter. We went off on our honeymoon in a chariot of fire which her father lent us for the occasion, and had a comfortable time of it at Monte Carlo, where all the hotels are under her father's special patronage.'

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