Chapter 41 (1/2)

I’m always in awe of writer Tong Hua’s ability to keep the plot moving so briskly and sensibly, on top of creating unforgettable characters in so many of her stories. Both skills come to play now that Lost You Forever is deep into the third and final volume of the epic novel, with no signs of slowly down or losing steam. Zhuan Xu finally unites the vast wilderness under one rule, finis.h.i.+ng the dream left by his grandfather the Yellow Emperor. Along the way much was sacrificed, from family to love, and the cracks are starting to show in Zhuan Xu’s tight self-control now that he’s gotten to the very top.

I really like his character even if my boo is forever Xiang Liu, in many ways Zhuan Xu is the male counterpart to Xiao Yao so we can consider the novel having two main characters in Xiao Yao and Zhuan Xu. In that respect, Jing and Xiang Liu are simply the male leads to Xiao Yao whereas Zhuan Xu’s story is just as front and center as Xiao Yao’s journey, and compared to her he’s had it just as rough in different ways. At this point, everyone has gotten what each wants except for Zhuan Xu, so will he continue the status quo or shake things up for a final grasp at his personal happiness? I’m guessing he’s not going to watch Xiao Yao leave his side that willingly.

Chapter 41 – Full of Emotion Yet Seeming Emotionless:

Even though Zhuan Xu already married many women, Xiao Yao had actually never prepared a wedding present for him before. Every time Zhuan Xu had one prepared on her behalf and Maio Pu send it out in her name. Many times Xiao Yao didn’t even know what the present was.

This time it was the wedding of Zhuan Xu and Ah Nian and also the first time Xiao Yao prepared a present personally. She really wanted Zhuan Xu and Ah Nian to be happy, even if she knew Zhuan Xu could get everything in this world but the simplest of happiness might be beyond his reach. So while she was wis.h.i.+ng for Zhuan Xu to make Ah Nian happy, she was also hoping Ah Nian could bring some happiness to Zhuan Xu. At least Ah Nian grew up with Zhuan Xu and was not like all his other women.

The night before the wedding, Zhuan Xu walked in as Xiao Yao was inspecting the wedding present.

Xiao Yao spread her arms and blocked the view of the present “Don’t look, you’re not allowed to look. This is for you to open with Ah Nian.”

Zhuan Xu wasn’t interested in the slightest, not even sparing it a glance, before grabbing Xiao Yao outside with him “Go walk with me in Qi Qing Garden.”

Xiao Yao was dejected “You don’t even care about my present.”

“Yes! I don’t care because I don’t even want it!”

Zhuan Xu took giant strides so Xiao Yao had to run to catch up. It wasn’t until entering Qi Qing Garden did Zhuan Xu slow down. Xiao Yao raised her head to look at Zhuan Xu “Did you drink? You’re not drunk, are you?”

“No!” Zhuan Xu coldly scoffed “Tomorrow is not just any wedding, it’s when the Xuan Yuan Emperor marries the Gao Xing Princess. The armies inside the Gao Xing borders and at the outskirts combined are greater than a hundred thousand men. This is a matter as important as the world, what right do I have to get drunk!”

Xiao Yao stared quizzically at Zhuan Xu “I thought you would be a little happy at least to marry Ah Nian. In your heart, is Ah Nian the same as all the women living on Zhi Jin Summit?”

“Ah Nian is not the same as them! But that not the same is also not the same as me wanting to marry to her!” Zhuan Xu angrily punched the water and sent a water spout into the air before the drops fell back down.

In the past, Zhuan Xu didn’t want to get married either but he controlled his emotions well, but this time he was losing control so Xiao Yao asked “If you don’t want to this much, why did you agree?”

Zhuan Xu turned and stared angrily at Xiao Yao “Why did I agree? Don’t you all think I would naturally agree? Did you even care what I wanted? All you cared about was that Ah Nian got to marry me! In your mind, I already had so many women, it wouldn’t matter to add one more Ah Nian!”

Xiao Yao’s temper flared up “But isn’t that the truth? There are so many women on Zhi Jin Summit, what’s the difference in adding one more? Years ago you could happily marry Xing Yue, compared to her Ah Nian isn’t any bit worse off. Has Ah Nian given you less than Xing Yue did? She is bringing to you the peace and stability of all of Gao Xing!”

Zhuan Xu’s expression was dark and livid, his chest rising and falling fast as he pressed closer to Xiao Yao step by step “When was I ever happy to marry Xing Yue? You tell me now what kind of happy I was to marry her!”

Xiao Yao took steps back and remembered that she ran back to Gao Xing during that wedding so she never watched Zhuan Xu get married. She sheepishly said “The tea houses of Gao Xing said your wedding was lavish and exciting, the entire world saw you happy and thrilled!”

Xiao Yao backed up to the pavilion support beam and had nowhere else to go but Zhuan Xu continued to stalk towards her. Xiao Yao sat down on the steps and pressed up against the beam “Zhuan Xu, don’t act drunk as an excuse to throw a fit! If you have the guts then you throw this fit tomorrow in front of the wedding guests!”

Zhuan Xu pressed both arms on the beam and encircled Xiao Yao right in front of him, bending down until he was face-to-face with her and spit out each word clearly “Let me tell you, each time I’ve gotten married I’ve been miserable. The time I married Xing Yue, I was so miserable I hated myself, and even hated you!”

Xiao Yao leaned back acting like she was going to kick him off “Let me tell you, if you keep acting up I’m going to fight back!”

Zhuan Xu stared at Xiao Yao as his head slowly lowered. Xiao Yao stared with her eyes wide as saucers “I’m going to kick you!”

Just as Zhuan Xu’s lips was about to touch Xiao Yao, he suddenly turned his face and rested it on Xiao Yao’s shoulder, breathing heavily.

Xiao Yao softly asked “Zhuan Xu, what’s gotten into you?”

Zhuan Xu raised his head and lightly rubbed Xiao Yao’s head before sitting down beside her “You’re right, I don’t have the ability to do as you said! So tomorrow I’ll let the world see my happy face!” If he had the ability, then why would he have needed the Tu Shan and Chi Sui clans many years ago to help him win the throne, and in the process handed Xiao Yao to them with his own hands.

Xiao Yao looked at Zhuan Xu but his face was turned away so she couldn’t see his expression “Why are you so upset today? In the past I can understand your feelings but right now I don’t have a clue. Fine, I’ll admit I only thought about Ah Nian and didn’t consider what you wanted. But I really thought……one more wouldn’t make any difference!”

“Xiao Yao!” Zhuan Xu’s voice contained his rising anger.

Xiao Yao quickly added “Don’t be like this! If you really don’t want to marry Ah Nian then let’s find a way to call off the wedding.”

Zhuan Xu was silent and then said calmly “How to cancel? The wedding is tomorrow and the entire world knows it. One hundred thousand soldiers are standing by. One wrong move and the world descends into chaos, and Ah Nian will hate you and me forever!”

“I don’t know! I don’t care if Ah Nian hates me, or hundred thousand soldiers, or world peace, all I care about is that if you’re not willing then I will support you! Let’s find a way, we can find a way together.”

For him, Xiao Yao was willing to risk her life, and be at odds with the entire world. But she wanted to live the rest of her life with another man. Zhuan Xu started laughing, and it wasn’t clear if his laughter was sorrow or joy.

Xiao Yao jumped up “I’m going to find my dad!”

Zhuan Xu stopped her with a smile “There are already tons of women on Zhi Jin Summit, it really doesn’t matter to add one more. I just drank too much today but am fine now!”

Xiao Yao stared at Zhuan Xu who patted the spot next to him so she sat down. Zhuan Xu said “Same rules, don’t prepare a present for me, don’t say congratulations, and tomorrow don’t even show up at the wedding!”

“But how am I going to explain to Ah Nian and my dad?”

“You’re the Princess stricken from the Gao Xing royal family register, your attendance is what would be awkward.”

Even though Xiao Yao really cared about Ah Nian and the Grand Emperor, but neither was as important to her as Zhuan Xu so she said “Fine, tomorrow I’ll hide myself away.”

Zhuan Xu lazily leaned against the beam and used his fingers to flick at the lake, and with each flick he would send a power surge into the water and a spray would burst from the surface.

Xiao Yao wrapped her arms around her knees and stared at the water bursts on the lake, and after some time suddenly asked “You were never happy even once?”

Zhuan Xu’s answer was immediate “Never.”

“I think you will be happy one of these days, eventually you’ll meet a woman you love.”

“I also want to know what it feels like to marry a woman I love. I want to feel genuine happiness, I want to accept other people’s congratulations with true joy.”

Xiao Yao’s heart hurt and she said “You will!”

Zhuan Xu smiled “I believe that too, I believe if I have the patience to keep waiting then I will wait for that day to come.”

“Yes, it will come. But when that day arrives, you can’t treat Ah Nian poorly because of her.”

Zhuan Xu tenderly smiled at Xiao Yao so she sa.s.sed “What are you smiling about?”

Zhuan Xu smiled “When I marry her, I will listen to her on everything.”

“What?” Xiao Yao jabbed her finger at Zhuan Xu “You……you have some backbone, will you? What do you mean listen to her on everything? You’re the ruler of an entire kingdom!”

Zhuan Xu drawled “This is different than having no backbone. As long as I marry her, then I will take her side on everything. Whatever makes her unhappy, I won’t do it.”

Xiao Yao started pinching him to get the point across “What if she doesn’t like me, or she says bad things about me? Will you listen to her then?”

Zhuan Xu was laughing so hard his shoulders were shaking so Xiao Yao demanded “Answer me!” Zhuan Xu kept staring at Xiao Yao and saying nothing so Xiao Yao continued to threaten him “Tell me clearly now! When that day comes, are you going to listen to her or listen to me?”

“Can’t I listen to both?”

“No!”

“Maybe both will have the same point of view?”

“What if it’s not the same?”

“What if there is never a case when it’s not the same?”

Xiao Yao grew anxious “Zhuan Xu, tell me now so that I can make preparations for the day when I’m not in your good graces anymore!”

“Then of course I will listen to……..” Zhuan Xu paused “….you!

“Oh! That’s more like it!” Xiao Yao breathed a sigh of relief before realizing how immature she was being. But then she saw how Zhuan Xu’s expression had lightened up and he seemed very happy, so it was worth being teased by him.

Xiao Yao asked “Feeling better?” Zhuan Xu nodded. Xiao Yao added “Then when you’re unhappy tomorrow, think of all that you’ve accomplished, and even if you’re unhappy you can still make Ah Nian happy!”

Zhuan Xu stared at Xiao Yao so she quickly added “It’s not that I care about Ah Nian more than you. It’s just that this is the best way for you……oh you know what I mean.”

Zhuan Xu could have said “Okay” or “Sure”, but he instead answered “I’ll listen to you”, clearly still remembering their earlier conversation. Xiao Yao laughed and smacked him.

Zhuan Xu grabbed Xiao Yao’s fist in one hand and the other pressed on the beam behind Xiao Yao’s head, smiling down at her “Qi Qing Garden is your favorite spot on Five G.o.ds Mountain. Going forward I’ll construct a replica of Qi Qing Garden on Xiao Yue Peak on Sheng Nong Mountain for you.”

Xiao Yao understood Zhuan Xu’s intention, even though her mom was long gone, her dad still maintained the places her mom frequented to remain exactly the same. But from now on this place no longer belonged to her dad, and Ah Nian would naturally renovate it based on her own wishes. All the memories that belonged to Xiao Yao were gradually getting lost.

Xiao Yao stared at the bamboo forest in the distance and said nothing. After a pause she smiled and shook her head.

It wasn’t that she didn’t want it, but Xiao Yue Peak wasn’t her permanent residence either so why waste the effort? She could consider having Jing build her a Qi Qing Garden in Qing Qiu.

Zhuan Xu turned his head aside, the smile still lingered on his lips but his eyes were cold.

The two sat there in silence, each thinking their own thoughts, until Xiao Yao said “Let’s go back and rest, tomorrow you have to rise early.”

The two stepped out of the pavilion to see that the stars were blanketing the sky. Both slowed their steps at the same time. When they were small, during the summer after bathing, they would play in the outside corridors and then lay down to look at the stars above when they got tired.

Zhuan Xu softly said “Often I would miss the days on Cao Yun Peak, but back then Cao Yun Peak didn’t belong to me and I had no power to keep you beside me.” He vividly remembered when Auntie was sending Xiao Yao away and he begged to have her stay, promising to take care of Xiao Yao, but his Auntie answered that he didn’t have the power to protect himself much less her.

Xiao Yao was silent but her expression was solemn and sad. She arrived at her residence and said “It’s all in the past! Now Xuan Yuan Mountain, Sheng Nong Mountain, and Five G.o.ds Mountain all belong to you.”

Zhuan Xu smiled “Yes, all belongs to me!”

Xiao Yao felt that Zhuan Xu’s smile didn’t have any happiness in it so she worried asked “Tomorrow’s wedding…..”

Zhuan Xu waved his hands for her to go inside “Have I ever screwed anything up? Go rest and have Miao Pu and Xiao Xiao take you out to sea tomorrow to play.”

Xiao Yao thought and realized that from childhood until now Zhuan Xu had never made a single mistake! She was relieved so nodded her head and went inside.

Zhuan Xu slowly walked under the stars – yes, he would never make a mistake, because only when he never made any mistakes could Xiao Yao make as many mistakes as she wanted. It was why she could be Qi Yo’s daughter and still live without a care in the world.

Zhuan Xu said in his heart: Auntie, do I have enough ability now to protect myself, and to protect Xiao Yao?

In mid-Autumn, at the bright of noon, the Xuan Yuan Black Emperor Zhuan Xu took the Gao Xing Princess Gao Xing Yi as his Empress.

On the day after the wedding, the Grand Emperor summoned his officials and announced his abdication due to his ill health, pa.s.sing the throne to Zhuan Xu for the future of all Gao Xing people.

The court was in an uproar but since the Chang Yi and Bao Hu tribes already defected to Zhuan Xu, and the Qing Long and Yi He tribes supported the Grand Emperor, as well as the Emperor’s Five G.o.ds Army, the remaining dissenters had no choice but to accept the reality.

Under the protection and escort of hundreds of armed soldiers, Zhuan Xu became the Emperor of Gao Xing. The war between Gao Xing and Xuan Yuan ended, the two kingdoms merged under the authority of the Black Emperor.

From then on, nearly the entire vast wilderness was under the control of the Black Emperor.

But this was not a successful end but a difficult beginning, as now there were three tribes bickering for power with Zhuan Xu. But his path to power was always difficult so his personality developed to being forgiving and generous, intelligent and thoughtful, and he used his vast wisdom to handle all the complaints and conflicts and resolve it one by one.

Zhuan Xu did not marginalize Ru So, who defeated the Xuan Yuan army time and again during the war, and instead used him greatly as his loyal official. Even the officials who disagreed with him in the past were not punished and Zhuan Xu continued to listen to their opinions. For those few who harbored ill will and fomented discord, Zhuan Xu did not hesitate and punished them harshly.

Under the support and guidance of the Yellow Emperor and the Grand Emperor, Zhuan Xu got past the most difficult phase until all the officials understood and accepted that he truly was the Emperor to all.

After Zhuan Xu’s wedding, Xiao Yao lived on Five G.o.ds Mountain a bit longer until she was confident that the Grand Emperor’s health was fine. After abdicating, he managed to stabilize his healthy but real recovery could not come until he left everything behind on Five G.o.ds Mountain.

Seeing that the Grand Emperor was doing well, Xiao Yao decided to go back to the Middle Plains first with Jing. Arriving on Sheng Nong Mountain, she saw it was still the same, the exuberance of Five G.o.ds Mountain didn’t reach all the way there.

Xiao Yao asked the Yellow Emperor “Xing Yue didn’t object?” The Yellow Emperor casually answered “Of course she’s not happy but she’s a smart woman. She can’t stop it and knows it doesn’t affect her position here. It’s better than Zhuan Xu marrying Ah Nian and bringing her back to Xuan Yuan Mountain.”

Xiao Yao thought about it and agreed. Ah Nian lived on the far away Five G.o.ds Mountain, and even if Zhuan Xu needed to be there more in the coming years until Gao Xing was fully stabilized and integrated, he would still be spending the majority of his time on Sheng Nong Mountain. So in reality Ah Nian may also have the Empress t.i.tle and Five G.o.ds Mountain, but Ah Nian wouldn’t be wielding real Empress authority or take away anything from Xing Yue.

Xiao Yao mused “Dad really is wise, he knew that only by letting go of everything could he ensure Ah Nian’s happiness and peace her entire life.”

The Yellow Emperor’s expression grew solemn “Very few can clearly see, even fewer can see clearly and choose to give it all up, and even less do so willingly. In the past I didn’t give him enough credit for his breadth of character. It’s just too bad your mom first met……” The Yellow Emperor sighed and let his words trail off.

Xiao Yao took out a silk pouch and handed it over “Zhuan Xu wanted me to give this to you. He said that he doesn’t have time to study it so wanted Grandfather to give it a shot.”

The Yellow Emperor opened the pouch and inside was a jade shaped like half a goose egg. He took out the other half already in his possession and put it together to form a complete jade egg. He sighed, hundreds of years later it was finally complete, the River Drawing Mountain Book. Legend had it that the person possessing it would rule the world. But in truth it was first ruling the world before a person could possess it. No wonder Qi Yo and Zhuan Xu could care less about it.

Xiao Yao curiously asked “What’s hidden inside?”

The Yellow Emperor said “I’ve been studying it for hundreds of years and have an idea. Soon we’ll know for sure.”

The Yellow Emperor closed his eyes and injected his power into the jade egg, and after a few moments he opened his eyes and sighed loudly.

Xiao Yao asked “Grandfather, what did you see?”

“Inside is a map of the entire vast wilderness, notes on various spiritual maze construction, and a section of the journal of the Great Emperor Pan Gu.”

“Looks like this really contains the personal items left behind by the Great Emperor Pan Gu. What does it say?”

“Just notations on what regions with different climates are suitable for planting what crops, much like the medical journal left behind by the Flame Emperor. This contains the things the Great Emperor Pan Gu still hadn’t completed. The mazes are not intended for battle but to a.s.sess the climates of places and help a.n.a.lyze how to plan crops.”

Xiao Yao thought about it and understood “The Flame Emperor wanted to help heal the world’s ails, while the Great Emperor Pan Gu was thinking of keeping his people from ever being hungry.”

The Yellow Emperor nodded and sighed “So the secret to ruling the world was never any mystery, to keep the people healthy and fed would then naturally lead to ruling a content world.”

The Yellow Emperor looked out on the fields deep in though. Xiao Yao smiled, her grandfather was going to be busy again. In addition to completing the Flame Emperor’s legacy, he now wanted to complete the Great Emperor Pan Gu’s wish that the people were well fed.