Chapter 32 (2/2)

Xiao Yao stared at Xiang Liu and her eyes were blinded in pain by his whiteness like a cloud and like the snow. Tears came to her eyes, Fang Feng Bei took her away and now Fang Feng Bei was dead and would never appear again. From now on it was only Xiang Liu. That irresponsible, do whatever he wanted, taught her archery, took her through the world seeking the simplest of pleasures, that man was now dead.

He once said – she and he were just temporarily companions in this unpredictable life seeking happiness. He never lied to her!

Xiang Liu quietly stared at Xiao Yao, his face was like a ten thousand year old snow mountain, cold and inscrutable.

Xiao Yao abruptly turned around and grabbed a pail of water from the well and splashed the cold water on her face. When she lifted her head her face was all wet. she didn’t know if her tears came down and mixed with the water or was forced back and never fell.

Xiao Yao went to the kitchen and found a biscuit and laid down on the gra.s.s pallet in the courtyard to munch on it and bask in the sun.

Xiang Liu asked “Has your sleepless problem not been cured yet?

Xiao Yao acted like she didn’t hear him. After what happened yesterday, who cared whether she slept well at night. A more prudish lady would have committed suicide by now.

Xiang Liu asked “You don’t want to go outside to walk around?”

What was there to see outside? It had been seventy years and even if the streets were the same, the people were all gone. If the people were all gone then why the walk down memory lane? If she didn’t go see then she could preserve the happy memories. If she went to look then she might find all the flaws in her memories.

Xiang Liu said nothing more and quietly read the sheep skin cloth in his hand.

Xiao Yao nibbled on the biscuit and gradually fell asleep. She felt like she was back in Hui Chun Clinic and napping in the courtyard with s.h.i.+ Qi quietly working beside her. She would natter to s.h.i.+ Qi that the Autumn afternoon was the highlight of the day and have him go lay on the pallet with her to bask in the sun.

A string of children’s laughter roused Xiao Yao from her sleep and she flipped over. She subconsciously glanced towards s.h.i.+ Qi and instead saw only pure white. Xiao Yao covered her eyes with her hands but she didn’t know what she was trying to cover.

Xiang Liu and Xiao Yao lived in Qing Shui Town for over a month just like that.

In the morning when Xiao Yao was still sleeping, Xiang Liu would go out. Xiao Yao never went out and when she slept she would toss and turn like she was still awake. When she was awake it was like a daze and she was dreaming. To say she hated Xiang Liu, but she never resisted and never tried to run away. To say she didn’t hate Xiang Liu, she never spoke to him and acted like he didn’t exist.

It was now early Winter and the temperature was dropping. Xiang Liu still wore a simple all-white robe and often did work in the courtyard. Xiao Yao had weak powers and couldn’t stay in the courtyard anymore so she often wrapped herself in a blanket and sat by the window.

Xiang Liu would often stare at Xiao Yao for a long long time. Xiao Yao sometimes couldn’t sense it and when she did sense it she didn’t mind and let him continue to stare at her.

When the first snowflakes fell, it was the first snow of the Winter. Xiao Yao reached out her hand but the snowflakes were too wispy and melted the moment it touched her palm.

Xiang Liu walked into the room and closed the window for her.

Xiao Yao opened it. Xiang Liu closed it again.

Xiao Yao opened it again. Xiang Liu closed it again.

Xiao Yao went to open it again but Xiang Liu used his power and Xiao Yao couldn’t open it at all.

Even since she left Chi Sui Castle, Xiao Yao had been calm but now she couldn’t endure it any longer and punched the window violently before glaring at Xiang Liu.

Xiang Liu coolly said “What kind of person I am, you’ve known all along. Since you dared to make a deal with the devil, you ought to have the courage to accept the consequences.”

Xiao Yao was taken aback because Xiang Liu was absolutely correct. Their deal was completely fair. Even if she could do it over and knowing the consequences of today, to protect Zhuan Xu she would still choose to move the voodoo bug into Xiang Liu. It had simply been too long since Xiang Liu asked her to fulfill her end of the bargain. She had also seen Fang Feng Bei as real, so their relations.h.i.+p was covered by this tender sweet layer like a gauzy veil. Xiao Yao simply forgot that their relations.h.i.+p was always just a transaction, so no matter what he chose to ask of her, she had no right to be angry.

Xiang Liu sat down and started drinking wine and stared at Xiao Yao. There was a conflicted look in his eyes, unclear what he was thinking about.

Xiao Yao finally spoke “When can I leave? What is your plan?”

Xiang Liu didn’t answer her question and just tossed a jug of wine to Xiao Yao “This wine is specially made strong liquor, one sip and it’ll knock a person out.”

There was no brazier lit in the room so Xiao Yao was chilled “No matter how strong the wine, it won’t let me drink my woes away!”

She picked up the jug and took a big large gulp. The strong wine hit her throat and burned its way down to her belly, instantly warming her body and relaxing her mood.

Xiao Yao continued to drink and Xiang Liu kept her company and also silently drank.

Xiang Liu suddenly asked “Do you want to marry Feng Long?”

Xiao Yao’s expression changed, she appeared to try and snap herself alert. Xiang Liu’s eyes were piercing bright and his voice tender and soft as he asked “Do you want to marry Ye s.h.i.+ Qi?”

Xiao Yao murmured “I do.”

Another question was right at the tip of Xiang Liu’s lips but he was actually torn until a moment later he asked “Who do you most want to spend your entire life with?”

Xiao Yao opened her mouth to answer but her expression showed her internal struggle as her mind refused to let her say what her heart felt.

After multiple struggles she became more and more pained and her body began to shake as she clutched her head “Hurt…..hurt…..” Xiang Liu had used his power to try and see into Xiao Yao’s heart but Xiao Yao’s mind was too strong willed. If she encountered something that even she refused to think about, then she would unexpectedly oppose answering it and the headache was the result of her refusal to answer the question.

Xiang Liu was afraid that she would injure her soul essence so he didn’t dare push her and quickly pulled back his probe and said “If your head hurts, rest!”

Xiao Yao wearily rested on the pillow with her forehead furrowed in pain.

Xiang Liu covered her with a blanket and Xiao Yao suddenly opened her eyes “Why?”

Xiang Liu stared at Xiao Yao and didn’t know exactly what she was asking why about. Was it why he forced her to become a runaway bride? Or was it why he used his powers to probe the true feelings inside her heart?

Xiao Yao gave up asking and closed her eyes to murmur “I’m so hurting……Xiang Liu, I hurt………”

Xiang Liu’s hand pressed on Xiao Yao’s forehead and he said in a low voice “You’ll forget what just happened and after a good night’s sleep it’ll all be fine!”

Xiao Yao fell asleep but there was a sardonic smile on her lips as if mocking “Even after a good sleep it won’t all be fine!”

When Xiao Yao woke up, her head felt like splitting and she sensed something strange happened last night but no matter how much she tried to remember she couldn’t figure it out so she gave up.

Perhaps it was due to waking up early today Xiang Liu had already left.

Xiao Yao washed up and had breakfast before going to sit in a daze in the courtyard under the sun. The sound of children playing reached her.

She opened the courtyard door and saw seven or eight kids playing house. They were currently having a pretend wedding and Xiao Yao couldn’t help but lean against the door and watch them. She suddenly remembered Ma Zi and Chuan Zi, when she found them and brought them back they were about the same age. But they weren’t as noisy back then, they were quiet and fearful, working hard and eating little, afraid she would toss them back out. It wasn’t until after a long time did they believe she and Lao Mu wouldn’t kick them out just to have one less mouth to feed.

That was all nearly ninety years ago now! The gra.s.s on Ma Zi and Chuan Zi’s graves had grown multiple times but her memories of them were still so vivid like yesterday.

An old woman with a face full of wrinkles and hair all white sat near the wall and watched the kids. She appeared ancient but was full of life still and her clothing was neat and clean. She beamed with happiness as she watched the kids play.

The old woman beckoned to Xiao Yao “Little lady, come here to sit under the sun.”

Xiao Yao walked over and sat beside the old woman, it was warm with the sensation of the Spring afternoon.

The old woman said “I haven’t seen you before? Are you Bao Zhu’s…..”

Xiao Yao didn’t know who Bao Zhu was but likely Xiang Liu transformed into a human or his subordinate did so and Bao Zhu must be who the old woman thought was her neighbor. Xiao Yao said “Relative. I recently arrived here.”

The old woman said “Are the kids bothering you? You haven’t had kids yet?”

Xiao Yao sighed “Who knows if I’ll have the good fortune to have kids in this lifetime.” She broke off her wedding to the Chi Sui clan leader and ran off with another guy. Likely no man would dare marry her in this lifetime.

The old woman said “You decide if you will have good fortune in your life.”

Her words didn’t sound like an uneducated country woman and Xiao Yao glanced at the old woman and then looked around her surroundings. It seemed familiar – if some arrangements were changed around and the residence smaller and older…..Xiao Yao suddenly asked “Is this Hui Chun Clinic?”

The old woman said “Yes!”

Xiao Yao was startled and then asked “Tian Er?”

The old woman was taken aback and sadness flitted across her eyes “Since my Chuan Zi died, it’s been a long time since I heard someone call me that name. How do you know I’m Xan Tian Er?”

Xiao Yao said “I….I heard the old folks in town mention it once.”

Xan Tian Er laughed “Likely they were gossiping about how I was once a prost.i.tute and doesn’t deserve to live such a good life. But I did live an entire lifetime with Chuan Zi, we had four sons and one daughter, and now I have ten grandson, eight granddaughters, and three great-grandchildren.”

“Lao Mu, Ma Zi, Chun Tao, how are they……..”

“They are all gone, I’m the only one left.”

Xiao Yao was silent for a long time before asking “Lao Mu…..how was he when he pa.s.sed?”

“Lao Mu had no children of his own but Ma Zi and Chuan Zi treated him like their own father. They took care of him until he was old no worse than a real son would have done. Chun Tao and I were also good daughter-in-laws and we took care of Lao Mu until he pa.s.sed with a smile on his face.”

Xiao Yao smiled, she didn’t make an effort to find out not because she didn’t care, but because she cared too much. Now she knew they lived a good life it was like a dam had broken. Xiao Yao asked Tian Er “Did Chuan Zi ever find fault with you? Did you ever feel unhappy? Did you regret anything in this lifetime?”

Xan Tian Er felt this girl’s questions were odd but from the first moment she saw her, she felt this strange kins.h.i.+p so she answered “It’s not like a prost.i.tute with a client, only sweet without the bitter. How could our days together not be stumbling and fumbling at times? After I had two sons, Chuan Zi and I almost broke up but I couldn’t withstand his pleading for forgiveness so we stayed together. But looking back I’m so relieved I didn’t just leave in anger at that time.”

To push a woman who gave birth to two sons to leave, Chuan Zi really must have committed a huge infraction. But mistakes and wrongs can be seen in an instance or viewed in a lifetime. After her life was almost at its end, Xan Tian Er looked back and decided her forgiveness was the right decision. Xiao Yao asked “A person can only see what is right before her, not what is ahead for the lifetime. How does one know that a decision in that moment, even if it’s painful, is the right decision that one won’t regret down the road?”

Xan Tian Er answered “Not only am I unable to answer your question, even a G.o.d or G.o.ddess living hundreds more years can’t answer it. Isn’t a person’s lifetime like walking a desolate road? No one has walked it before you so each step is stepping on unknown ground. Some walk a road with a good view, others have a poor view. But no matter what the view is, there will always be jagged cliffs, broken paths, dangerous beasts, perhaps one wrong step and one will tumble or maybe one wrong turn and one will head the wrong way. Because it’s a desolate road that is unknown and dangerous, everyone wants to find a companion to walk it with. Another set of eyes, another pair of hands, each taking care of the other. I warn you of a fork in the road, you warn me of a cliff ahead, we hold hands to cross together, joining forces to beat back a dangerous beast…….two people stumbling and fumbling an entire lifetime together and that’s how it happens.”

Xiao Yao said nothing.

Xan Tian Er appeared to remember something and she squinted her eyes and also said nothing. The sound of children laughing startled Xan Tian Er and she stared at her great-grandchildren with Chuan Zi and smiled “I smiled and I cried in my life, it’s been worth it!”

Xiao Yao never could have imagined the Xan Tian Er standing at the end of her life would be so content.

Xan Tian Er counseled Xiao Yao “Little lady, you have to remember that whatever you want, you have to believe it exists. If you refuse to believe it, then how can you give your true heart? If you don’t plant the seeds, you can’t have a happy harvest.”

The kids had moved on from the wedding to having kids, the little girl was anxious about not being able to have a “baby” and the little boy was anxious about going to see the “doctor” and the “doctor” gave them medicine wrapped in leaves to go home and “brew.” The “doctor” solemnly told the “couple” that their nightly activities would need to be decreased to every three days and not to rush it in the eagerness to get pregnant.

Xiao Yao burst out laughing and Xan Tian Er awkwardly explained “They play all day in the clinic and eavesdrop on a lot of the adult conversations with patients.”

Xiao Yao said “It’s been a long time since I’ve been happy. Today, I’m really happy.”

Xiang Liu came back and stood beside the tree to watch Xiao Yao and Xan Tian Er.

Xiao Yao stood up and stroked Tian Er’s head “Tian Er, you did well. I know Chuan Zi must have understood and appreciated that he got a great wife. Lao Mu and I are both very happy.”

Xiao Yao walked towards Xiang Liu and Xan Tian Er’s voice broke as she called out “You….who are you?”

Xiao Yao turned back and smiled at Xan Tian Er but didn’t answer her question. She and Xiang Liu walked through the copse of trees and disappeared.

The tears in Xan Tian Er’s eyes fell and she struggled to stand up so she could kneel and bow in Xiao Yao’s direction.

Xiao Yao said to Xiang Liu “Why didn’t you tell me that the kids disturbing me everyday with their loud playing are Ma Zi and Chuan Zi’s grandchildren and great-grandchildren?” Life was so hard to predict, the two quiet little kids she took in years ago now left her a gaggle of loud boisterous offspring to give her a headache.

Xiang Liu coolly said “I told you to go out and walk around the first day when we got here, you’re the one who wasn’t interested.”

Xiao Yao said “I’ve been gone for so long now, it must be a mess back there?”

Xiang Liu said nothing.

Xiao Yao asked “You did what you wanted but you let the Fang Feng family bear the brunt of the consequences. Fang Feng Yi Yang must have to help her family weather the storm, and since she’s now the Tu Shan clan leader’s wife, even the Tu Shan clan has been dragged into it.”

Xiang Liu coldly laughed “Did you think I kept you from getting married so that Zhuan Xu would get into a tiff with the Four Great Clans? I’ll tell you the truth, that was but half the reason!”

“The other half!”

“Tu Shan Jing hired me to go stop your wedding. He promised that if I could keep you from getting married, he would give me thirty-seven years worth of army provisions for the soldiers.”

“What?” Xiao Yao couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Jing hired Xiang Liu to ruin her wedding?

“If you don’t believe me you can go ask Tu Shan Jing yourself.”

Xiao Yao asked “When are you going to let me leave?”

Xiang Liu casually said “I already got what I wanted, you can leave anytime!”

Xiao Yao turned to leave and Xiang Liu said “A word of reminder, the voodoo bug still connects us so if you tell the world I’m Fang Feng Bei, don’t blame me if I hurt your heart and you die from the pain.”

Xiao Yao stopped and looked back at Xiang Liu.

“Don’t believe me?”

Xiao Yao’s heart was suddenly cut with so much pain like a sword pierced it, the pain so excruciating she fell on the ground in a slump.

Xiang Liu appeared to hold her life in his hands and he coldly said “If you don’t want to die, then don’t say a word!”

Xiao Yao was in such pain her face was ashen and cold sweat dotted her face. She sat up and smiled “Is this the reason you never had time to go to Jiu Li to break the voodoo bug? You want to control my life and death so that one day you can hold me hostage to your will? General Xiang Liu, you really are something!”

Xiang Liu smiled and turned to leave. With a whistle his white condor descended and he vaulted on its back and disappeared in the clouds.

The pain in Xiao Yao’s heart vanished but it was so painful that her body was still weak and needed some time to recover her strength. After some time, she slowly got up and walked towards town.

Qing Shui Town had to have a place where Zhuan Xu collected information. Xiao Yao didn’t know where it was and it was even harder for her to know where the Grand Emperor had his secret spies. It was easiest for her to find a Tu Shan clan business and she went into the nearest jewelry store and asked to see Yu s.h.i.+n.

The clerk saw Xiao Yao was very forceful so summoned Yu s.h.i.+n out.

Xiao Yao said to Yu s.h.i.+n “Take me to Qing Qiu, I want to see Tu Shan Jing.”

Yu s.h.i.+n noted that Xiao Yao called the clan leader by his full name and wasn’t happy about it. He just smiled and wasn’t going to do anything but Xiao Yao impatiently said “Tu Shan Jing will see me! If I’m lying, you will only make a useless trip and I’m in your hands and you can punish me however you want. But if what I say is true and you turn me down, you’ll upset Tu Shan Jing.”

Yu s.h.i.+n lived in the world of jewelry and saw many customers and was good at discerning those with power. He made a decision and summoned a cloud carriage to take him and Xiao Yao to Qing Qiu.

On the cloud carriage, Yu s.h.i.+n asked Xiao Yao “Why do you want to see the clan leader?”

Xiao Yao furrowed her brows and said nothing. Why? She had so many whys to ask Jing! Why stop her wedding? Why hire Xiang Liu? Why? Why?

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