Chapter 25 (1/2)

This is the chapter in Lost You Forever where the s.h.i.+t hits the fan for Xiao Yao and Jing. It’s high time these two faced the enormity of the pressures against them getting together rather than stubbornly cling to the hope that Jing can just somehow make it happen. I think Jing’s intelligence is no less than Zhuan Xu or Xiang Liu, but he lacks the ruthlessness of the other two and that is exactly what he needs to overcome his grandmother and Fang Feng Yi Yang plotting against him. I know Xiao Yao loves Jing especially for his kindness, but that kindness served them well when he was just Ye s.h.i.+ Qi but as Tu Shan Jing he has the weight of two powerful forces tugging at him. On on side is familial duty to one of the most powerful clans and the other is his love to be with a princess so lofty in position that even his position in life is merely good enough for her. I’m not asking Jing to suddenly grow some b.a.l.l.s but he does need to make a choice one way or the other rather than just standing in place. This leaves other people making things happen for him, and later on in the novel it’ll become clearer and clearer that Jing is the elusive safety net for Xiao Yao that requires others around her to make happen for her.

By this time in the story bratty Ah Nian is really becoming an endearing thing to have around for Xiao Yao. She’s really growing into being Xiao Yao’s little sister in every way especially in how annoying she can be paired with real sisterly affection. Xiao Yao needs family more than romantic love and might even be content if to be spinster even her family never left her side. But she’s too darn special and easy to love it’s no wonder three amazing men love her even if they aren’t fighting over it. I still can’t get over the glimpses we see of how much Xiang Liu does for her without ever revealing it and asking nothing in return. Scouring the world for the most rare items and having the best bow forged for her is a present as perfect as their thirty-seven years spent in that clam sh.e.l.l. Every time Xiao Yao is with Xiang Liu or Bei, it feels like an escape for her from the real world problems. The concern is that it’s fleeting because Xiang Liu had already pledged his life to General Gong Gong even before he met Xiao Yao. So even if she loses Jing, there isn’t another guy around that can give her the unreserved commitment she wants.

Chapter 25 – Suddenly Hear the Sorrowful Wind Tune:

In the morning, Xiao Yao took Shan Hu and Miao Pu and left Sheng Nong Mountain.

She had another task in mind and used the excuse of needing to buy some items to shop around on the street before finally diverting her maids to allow her to sneak into the Tu Shan clan messenger store. She handed over a wooden box to the shop owner to ask him to deliver to Qing Shui Town

It was all poisons Xiao Yao made, and even though Xiang Liu already asked Zhuan Xu for payment of her “medical bills”, but it was her life that he saved. In the three months Xiao Yao was at Five G.o.ds Mountain, she rifled through all the rare herbs and medicines stored there and created a lot of poisons to thank Xiang Liu.

After she paid the bill and left the store, she saw the street was filled with stores and lots of people were busy with their business. She couldn’t help but smile, having experienced so much separation and heartache, every time she saw such simple bustling life she felt happy even if it had nothing to do with her.

As she looked around, she saw a familiar figure.

Fang Feng Bei was riding a winged horse through the crowds, his expression gentle with a smile on his lips, just like any regular son of a rich family.

Xiao Yao was rooted in place and watched him come closer to her through the dense thrum of bustling ordinary life. Even knowing it was hopeless, she still fervently wished that this ordinary world could keep him in it.

Fang Feng Bei stopped before her and asked with a smile “You’re back?”

Xiao Yao smiled back “I’m back.”

The two of them, one asked and the other answered, as if they really were next door neighbors or close friends, but Xiao Yao distinctly remembered their last parting in front of the gambling den. He was filled with angry intensity while she bolted like a frightened rabbit.

Fang Feng Bei asked “Have you been seriously practicing archery?”

“Getting a second chance at life, do I dare slack off? I practice every day.”

Fang Feng Bei nodded and added “There can never be enough skills that can protect a life.”

Xiao Yao asked “How long are you in Zhi Yi for? Do you have time to teach me archery? I got a great bow from the Jin Tian family and wanted to show it to you.”

Fang Feng Bei smiled “Coincidence is better than scheduling, how about now?”

Xiao Yao thought and knew she could get to Qing Qiu in half an hour plus another day to get the Grand Madam her pills would be fine “Sure!”

Fang Feng Bei vaulted back on the winged horse and Xiao Yao grabbed his hand and vaulted on in front of him.

Miao Pu and Shan Hu arrived and Xiao Yao waved to them “Wait for me at Little Zhu Rong’s residence” and then they were off without any regard to the two maids hollering and hopping. In a moment she and Fang Feng Bei were gone.

The winged horse stopped at a remote canyon and it was the place Xiao Yao and Fang Feng Bei used to practice archery.

Fang Feng Bei asked “Your bow?”

Xiao Yao opened her hand and a silver bow appeared in her palm.

Fang Feng Bei squinted to carefully check it out and then nodded “Not bad!”

Xiao Yao asked “What do you want me to shoot?”

Fang Feng Bei plucked some leaves and tossed it into the air, the leaves turned into a green bird and under his powerful direction, the bird flew into the air and disappeared into the clouds,

Fang Feng Bei said “I just used a third power.”

Xiao Yao calmed her heart and pulled back her bow, with a whoosh her arrow flew out and a green bird fell from the sky.

Fang Feng Bei reached out his hand and the bird dropped in his hand, the silver arrow pierced it right in the heart.

Xiao Yao smiled “Master, are you pleased with your disciple?”

Fang Feng Bei smiled at Xiao Yao “I’ve always been pleased with you as my disciple.”

Xiao Yao blushed and glared “I was talking about archery!”

Fang Feng Bei looked all innocent “I was also talking about archery! What did you a.s.sume I was talking about?”

Xiao Yao was exasperated and said “I can’t win any argument with you, I can’t win any fight with you, so there is nothing I would dare a.s.sume!”

Fang Feng Bei took the bow from Xiao Yao’s hand and inspected it “If just for fun, this is enough, but if you want to kill a person, you need to be more hardhearted.”

Xiao Yao smiled “This weapon’s entire purpose is to kill. I plan to smear the arrow in poison so that once it’s released, it’s surefire death.”

Fang Feng Bei handed the bow back with a smile “Congratulations, you’ve graduated.”

The bow vanished in a silver light and disappeared into Xiao Yao’s arm “I graduated?”

“Your power is low but for your archery to get to this level it’s already the top. You’ve mastered everything I can teach you. From now on, you don’t need to learn archery from me anymore.”

Xiao Yao’s heart shook and suddenly she felt so adrift and lost. It was a joking offer between them tens of years ago, but as time pa.s.sed in a blink, they were standing here now and so much had happened.

Fang Feng Bei laughed “What” You’re going to miss me being your Master?”

Xiao Yao glared “I was thinking that since I graduated, shouldn’t you get me a graduation present?”

Fang Feng Bei furrowed his brows and sighed and said with sadness “A long time ago I wanted to give you a bow when you mastered archery. But now you have a great bow already, so I won’t need to give it to you.”

Xiao Yao snarked “I highly doubt you would be willing to spend money to buy me a good bow.”

Fang Feng Bei stared at the silver crescent moon mark on Xiao Yao’s arm and smiled but said nothing.

Xiao Yao solemnly bowed “Thank you for teaching me archery.”

Fang Feng Bei lazily laughed “This archery technique is a Fang Feng family secret, giving it to you, I don’t feel bad at all. Years ago I said I would teach you archery if you played with me. The only thing I spent was my time, and the only payment you gave was your time. This was a very fair transaction.”

“Each transaction is so clear for you, clearly you never get taken advantage of!”

Fang Feng Bei smiled and stared “Do you want to take advantage of me?”

Xiao Yao mocked herself “I can’t out wit all nine of you heads, I’m happy to have an even deal between us.”

Fang Feng Bei stared a the clouds in the distance for a few moments before speaking “Today I didn’t teach you archery but since we’re out already, spend the rest of the day with me as a thank you for your master!”

Xiao Yao said “Sure!”

_________________________

Xiao Yao and Fang Feng Bei came back in the late afternoon together.

Miao Pu and Shan Hu saw her and relaxed. Xiao Yao leaped off the winged horse and waved goodbye to Fang Feng Bei and entered the Little Zhu Rong residence.

Xing Yue accompanied Xiao Yao to the Evergreen Residence and waited for Jing Ye to open the door. Xing Yue sat to Xiao Yao “I won’t entertain you guys.”

Xiao Yao said “Coming and going, we already see your home as our home. Don’t worry about me, I’ll head straight to Qing Qiu with Jing later.”

Xing Yue smiled “Sure, say hi to the Grand Madam on behalf of me and Gege.”

Jing Ye led Xiao Yao inside the room “Master, the Princess is here.”

Jing stood before the table and quietly stared at Xiao Yao, his eyes reflecting a quiet control.

Xiao Yao’s heart twinged and felt like he was a bit off. She asked “What? Don’t welcome me? The Grand Madam’s pills are almost done so let’s go to Qing Qiu!”

Jing appeared to snap out of it and walked over wanting to embrace Xiao Yao but hesitated and only took her hand.

Xiao Yao smiled “Let’s go!”

“Yes.” Jing pulled Xiao Yao out the door. The two got in a cloud carriage and Jing remained strangely quiet.

Xiao Yao thought it was about her leaving for Gao Xing without saying goodbye and explained “I went to Gao Xing alone to help me think. We’ve been forced along by situations and I wanted you to have time to think clearly. Plus I needed to spend some time with my dad.”

Jing said in a low voice “Xiao Yao.”

“Yes?”

“Xiao Yao.”

“Yes, I’m here.”

“Xiao Yao……”

Xiao Yao stared at him quizzically but Jing said nothing more.

They arrived at Qing Qiu at dusk and Jing took Xiao Yao to greet the Grand Madam.

They entered the Grand Madam’s courtyard and there were a row of bird cages in the corridor and inside some canaries were napping.

A very alert and energetic canary was sitting on the Grand Madam’s shoulder and she was feeding it spiritual nuts. It ate one and happily chirped. It saw Jing and Xiao Yao come in and appeared to know they were going to discuss important matters so it nudged the Grand Madam’s hand and chirped a few times before flying out the window.

Xiao Yao smiled “That little thing doesn’t need a cage anymore.”

The Grand Madam smiled “It’s so smart, it knows I have nuts for it and we treat it all like precious treasures so none of them want to leave.”

Xiao Yao took the Grand Madam’s pulse and the Grand Madam said “No need to take my pulse, I know I am doing well. In the past when I slept I didn’t like bird calls disrupting my sleep, but now when I hear the canaries call I sleep even more restfully.”

Xiao Yao said to Se Mai Er “You’ve been taking good care of the Grand Madam. I’ll need another bowl of your blood.”

Se Mai Er reverently bowed to Xiao Yao “This is what I ought to do.”

Hou said to Xiao Yao “All the supplies are ready.”

Xiao Yao said to everyone “To make the medicine I need to get a good night’s rest. I’ll be off now.”

The Grand Madam said “The Princess needs to rest so no one go bother her!”

Xiao Yao had dinner and then went to sleep.

The next day she woke up and inspected all the supplies and checked that everything was prepared. She had the maids summon Se Mai Er and Doctor Hu Zhen and had him take a bowl of Se Mai Er’s blood.

Like last time, Xiao Yao spent seven days and nights making the medicine and made one hundred pills. But this time she had Hu Zhen watch everything and since he knew medicine and was very bright, he learned the technique from her completely after seven days. Next time Hu Zhen could independently make the pills for the Grand Madam.

Hu Zhen thanked Xiao Yao, as a doctor spending the last seven days with Xiao Yao he learned more than just how to make one medicine.

It was nighttime by the time the medicine was ready and Xiao Yao had Shan Nu pack it into bottles. Xiao Yao was exhausted and skipped dinner to just head to bed.

It was noon by the time she woke up and the first thing she said was “I’m so hungry.”

Shan Hu and Miao Pu quickly brought out breakfast and Xiao Yao wolfed it down and then rested before saying to Shan Hu “Prepare a bath.”

After soaking her body in the herb water did Xiao Yao regain her energy. Miao Pu sat beside her and said “Princess.”

“Yes.”

“I saw Fang Feng Yi Yang go to Master Jing’s residence but Jing Ye was cold and blocked the door and wouldn’t even let her in. She didn’t even give her any face and she likely dared be so rude because Master Jing told her to. Thank G.o.d Master Jing has finally put his foot down!”

Xiao Yao smiled “Some things, if it’s meant to be yours then it’s yours, if it’s not then staring isn’t going to keep it there.”

Miao Pu pursed her lips and said nothing more.

Xiao Yao got dressed and did her hair and then took the pills to see the Grand Madam.

Jing, Hou, Yi Yang, and Lan Mu were all there talking with the Grand Madam.

Xiao Yao handed the pulls over and Hou asked “Can’t you make more?” Hou didn’t trust Xiao Yao and having the Grand Madam rely on Xiao Yao for the pills made him feel like Xiao Yao had something on her.

Xiao Yao casually explained “With the Tu Shan clan wealth you can get whatever medicinal supplies you need. But you can’t take too much blood from Se Mai Er. One bowl every three months is the limit. If you take more her blood will thin and the medicine brewed will not be as effective. If the Grand Madam ingests it then it won’t suppress the pain. Se Mai Er’s body needs to be in optimal health so that her blood drawn is at its best.”

Actually Xiao Yao’s explanation she just made up, she didn’t trust Hou and the Grand Madam either and was worried they would hurt Se Mai Er to get her blood, so what she said was meant to keep them in line. Hou and the Grand Madam didn’t know any voodoo so they had to somewhat believe Xiao Yao and couldn’t afford to discount what she said.

Xiao Yao changed the subject “I taught Hu Zhen how to make the pills so later when I can’t come, he can make it for the Grand Madam.”

The Grand Madam and Hou were astonished, they couldn’t believe Xiao Yao would teach Hu Zhen the method. Even normal medical teachings was worth a lot of money, much less a medical technique that could extend the life and lessen the pain of the Grand Madam of the Tu Shan clan.

Hou summoned Hu Zhen and asked “The Princess said you can make the pills yourself. Is that true?”

Hu Zhen answered “It’s true, thanks to the Princess teaching so patiently.”

The Grand Madam watched Hu Zhen grow up and knew his personality was reliable and careful, otherwise she wouldn’t have entrusted him to care for the unconscious Jing years ago. The Grand Madam was rea.s.sured and had him leave.

The Grand Madam smiled at Xiao Yao “Princess you are royalty and the medicine making process is so arduous, having you also have to come here, I feel really imposing.”

Xiao Yao acted like she didn’t understand the subtext and smiled “It’s hard so thankfully Hu Zhen learned it.”

Jing stared at the smart and aware Xiao Yao and felt his heart ache. He knew what his grandmother meant by that, she was an old woman who was at the end of her life and he simply couldn’t castigate her.

Xiao Yao sat for a bit and was about to bid farewell to the Grand Madam and head back to Sheng Nong Mountain by dinnertime. She was about to open her mouth when she saw Yi Yang standing by the pallet suddenly wobble like she was about to pitch over.

Xiao Yao yelled “Hurry help her…” but before she finished speaking Yi Yang had collapsed in a faint on the ground.

The Grand Madam called out “Hurry, hurry…..”

The maids put Yi Yang on the pallet and called “Doctor, get the doctor!”

Yi Yang regained consciousness and tried to sit up “I’m fine, likely didn’t sleep well last night and got a little bit woozy.” She sat up and then promptly threw up on the maids.

Before the doctor arrived the Grand Madam asked Xiao Yao “Princess, can you please check first.”

Xiao Yao walked to the pallet and put her finger on Yi Yang’s wrist and a second later her face changed. She wobbled herself as if she was going to collapse and the maid propped her up.

The Grand Madam anxiously asked “What is it? Is it serious?”

Xiao Yao took a deep breath and sat on the pallet with the maid’s a.s.sistance. She controlled her emotions and took Yi Yang’s pulse again. A moment later she pulled her hand back and walked to the side. She hid her shaking hand in her sleeve and even felt her legs were trembling, but she forced a smile and casually said “Miss Fang Feng is expecting.”

The entire room turned silent in an instant, so silent a leaf dropping could be heard. Everyone’s expression was odd, expecting was a happy occasion, but unmarried and expecting was not.

The Grand Madam spoke first and asked Yi Yang “You and Jing…..”

Fang Feng Yi Yang glanced at Jing and her face turned beet red and her tears fell “Grandmother please forgive Jing….it’s not his fault…..it’s all my fault! It’s my being stupid…..:

She pretty much confirmed that the baby was Jing’s with that and everyone’s expression lightened. Unmarried pregnancy might be embarra.s.sing but the Grand Madam was at the end of her life and having a great-grandchild was of utmost importance.

The Grand Madam grabbed Yi Yang’s hand and her happiness was all over her face “I can die without regret now! I can die without regret now!”

Yi Yang kept her head lowered and kept crying and saying shamefully “I….I….I didn’t have the face to tell Grandmother.”

The Grand Madam looked at Yi Yang like a treasure “It’s not your fault! It’s my fault! Because of my health I didn’t force the wedding sooner. Don’t worry, I’ll have the elders prepare the wedding immediately.”

All the maids started congratulating the Grand Madam while Xiao Yao stared at Jing and saw his expression was full of despair with his face stark white in pain.

Xiao Yao smiled, she initially had a bit of hope that the child had nothing to do with Jing.

Everyone in the room gathered around the pallet so Xiao Yao turned and walked out. No one noticed her leaving other than Jing and he appeared to want to say something but no words came out.

Miao Pu and Shan Hu saw Xiao Yao walked out with a smile as if she was in a good mood.

Miao Pu asked happily “Princess, anything good happened?”

Xiao Yao said “Back to Sheng Nong Mountain.”

The maids replied “Yes!”

The three of them got in a cloud carriage and returned to Sheng Nong Mountain. Miao Pu asked “Princess, I heard a lot of chatter in the Grand Madam’s room, what happened?”

Xiao Yao smiled as if she didn’t hear it and Miao Pu asked again “Princess?”

Xiao Yao looked at her and smiled “What?”

Miao Pu shook her head “Nothing. Princess, are you….okay?”

Xiao Yao laughed “Me? I’m fine!”

Shan Hu and Miao Pu felt Xiao Yao appeared fine but was strangely happy in a way that made them feel totally weird.

It was nighttime when they returned to Zhi Jin Palace.

Ah Nian saw Xiao Yao and ran out all pouting “Jiejie, you have to help me! Zhuan Xu gege took me to see the plum blossoms and Xing Yue tagged along. She acts like Gege’s wife in front of me, like she’s my sister-in-law. She appears polite to me but secretly she’s always undermining me! She keeps talking about this clan and that clan and Zhuan Xu gege talks to her so he doesn’t have time for me. I listen beside him but Xing Yue tells me this stuff is boring and tells me to go elsewhere to play and I don’t need to keep her company. Who the h.e.l.l was keeping her company! Zhuan Xu gege actually took her side and told me to go play! Jiejie help me get rid of Xing Yue! Before coming to Sheng Nong Mountain I said it was fine if Gege has other women” Ah Nian stomped her foot “But that doesn’t include Xing Yue. Other than Xing Yue, I can accept anyone else!”

Xiao Yao smiled and staggered off to her room.

Ah Nian shook Xiao Yao’s arm “Jiejie, jiejie, are you going to help me?”

Zhuan Xu walked out and saw Ah Nian pleading with Xiao Yao and smiled at the cuteness, but he immediately sensed something was off. Xiao Yao was as dazed as a wooden doll and Ah Nian was tugging her to the point that Xiao Yao was about to fall over. He cried out “Ah Nian, let go….”

Before he finished saying it, Xiao Yao’s body pitched forward and Zhuan Xu flew up to catch her in his arms and Xiao Yao spit up blood on Zhuan Xu’s collar.

Zhuan Xu immediately picked Xiao Yao up in his arms and rushed inside the court while yelling “Bring the doctor!”

Ah Nian was stunned and followed behind Zhuan Xu and anxiously tried to explain “I didn’t use force.” But her frustration with Xing Yue, now she wasn’t so sure “Maybe…..I used a little.”

Zhuan Xu carefully placed Xiao Yao on the pallet and she used her sleeve to wipe the blood from her lip and smiled “Don’t worry, this is a congealed blood clot on my heart, it’s better to spit it out.”

Xiao Xiao brought the doctor and rushed there but Xiao Yao said “Really no need!”

Zhuan Xu glared at her and Xiao Yao had no choice but to hand her wrist to the doctor and after he examined her he signed to Zhuan Xu.

Ah Nian read the sign language and explained to Xiao Yao “He said you are suddenly so distraught that your spirit couldn’t move through your body, but to keep your sorrow tamped down it caused harm to your heart and what you spit out was a congealed blood clot on your heart. It’s better now and you have to rest well in the coming days and not to have wild mood swings.”

Zhuan Xu had the doctor leave and Ah Nian asked “Jiejie, what happened? Who caused even someone like you to be so sad?”

Xiao Yao smiled “Someone like me? As if I don’t have a heart.”

Zhuan Xu said “It’s just us three in this room, if you can’t even smile then stop forcing a smile for others to see!”

Xiao Yao smiled “It’s not smiling for others, it’s just a habit because I can’t cry. Because life is just like this, cry one day, laugh one day, since I have to live it no matter what, it’s better to live it with a smile. People like smiles, no one likes tears.”

Zhuan Xu felt his heart ache while Ah Nian seemed to understand something and stared at Xiao Yao in a daze.

Zhuan Xu asked “Do you want dinner?”

Xiao Yao smiled bitterly “I actually can’t eat right now so give me some soup and leave it there! I’ll drink it when I’m hungry. You guys go eat. I’ll sleep and it’ll be better.”

Zhuan Xu dragged Ah Nian out and said to Shan Hu “Look after the Princess well.” He glanced at Miao Pu and she immediately followed Zhuan Xu.

Xiao Yao took a sleeping pill and drowsily fell asleep.

In the middle of the night, Xiao Yao woke up but was in discomfort and couldn’t get up because her body felt weak.

Zhuan Xu was resting in the outside room and immediately woke up and rushed inside. He helped Xiao Yao sit up and wrapped her in a coat before handing the still warm soup to her. Xiao Yao sipped the soup and felt her chest relax a bit.

Zhuan Xu touched her forehead “A bit feverish but the doctor said your const.i.tution is unique so don’t take medicine yet but drink more liquids. What’s most important is that you remain calm and peaceful.”

Xiao Yao leaned back against the pillow and asked “Why are you outside keeping watch? Aren’t there maids left in Zhi Jin Palace?”

“I’m worried about you.”

“I’m fine, from small until now what haven’t I experienced? Will I really go die because of a man?”

“Yes, you’re totally fine because the person who spit up blood was totally not you.”