Volume Ii Part 27 (1/2)

”That,” says the priest, in a plaintive voice, pitched to the exact point between lamentation and veneration, ”is the ring of St. Ursula.”

”Indeed,” says C., ”her ring!”

”Yes,” says the priest, ”it was found in her tomb.”

”It was found in her tomb--only think!” says C., turning gravely to me. I had to look another way, while the priest proceeded to introduce, by name, four remarkably yellow skulls, with tastefully trimmed red caps on, as those of St. Ursula and sundry of her most intimate friends. S. looked gloriously indignant, and C. increasingly solemn.

”Dere,” said the priest, opening an ivory box, in which was about a quart of _teeth_ of different sizes, ”dere is de teeth of the eleven thousand.”

”Indeed,” echoes C., ”their teeth!”

S., at this, waxed magnificent, and, as a novel writer would say, swept from the apartment. I turned round, shaking with laughter, while the priest went on.

”Dere is a rib of St. ----.”

”Ah, his rib; indeed!”

”And dere is de arrow as pierced the heart of St. Ursula.”

”H.,” says C., ”here is the arrow that killed St. Ursula.” (The wicked scamp knew I was laughing!)

”Dere is the net that was on her hair.”

”This is what she wore on her hair, then,” says C., eyeing the rag with severe and melancholy gravity.

”And here is some of the blood of the martyr Stephen,” says the priest, holding a gla.s.s case with some mud in it.

In the same way he showed two thorns from the crown of Christ, and a piece of the Virgin's petticoat.

”And here is the waterpot of stone, in which our Lord made the wine at the marriage in Cana.”

”Indeed,” said C., examining it with great interest; ”where are the rest of them?”

”The rest?” says the priest.

”Yes; I think there were six of them; where are they?”

The priest only went over the old story. ”This came from Rome, and the piece broken out of the side is at Rome yet.”

It is to be confessed that I felt in my heart, through this disgusting recital, some of S.'s indignation; and I could not help agreeing with her that the odor of sanct.i.ty, as generally developed in the vicinity, was any thing but agreeable. I did long to look that man once steadily in the eyes, to see if he was such a fool as he pretended; but the ridiculousness of the whole scene overcame me so that I could not look up, and I marched out in silence. The whole church is equally full of virgins. The altar piece is a vast picture of the slaughter, not badly painted. Through various gla.s.s openings you perceive that the walls are full of the bones and skulls. Did the wors.h.i.+p of Egypt ever sink lower in horrible and loathsome idolatry? I had heard of such things; but it is one thing to hear of them, and another to see them by the light of this nineteenth century, in a city whose streets look much like the streets of any other, and where men and women appear much as they do any where else. Here we saw, in one morning, the splendor and the rottenness of the Romish system. From those majestic arches, that triumphant chant, there is but a step down to the wors.h.i.+p of dead men's bones and all uncleanness.

We went also into the Jesuits' church. The effect, to my eye, was that of a profusion of tawdry, dirty ornament; only the railing of the choir, which was a splendid piece of carving, out from a single block of Carrara marble.

The guide book prescribes, I think, no less than half a dozen churches in Cologne as a dose for the faithful; but we were satisfied with these three, and went back to our hotel. As a general thing I would not recommend more than three churches on an empty stomach.

The outer wall of Cologne is a very fine specimen of fortification, (I am quoting my guide book,) and we got a perfect view of it in crossing the bridge of boats to return to our hotel. Why they have a bridge of boats here I cannot say; perhaps on account of the width and swiftness of the river.

Having heard so much of the dirt and vile smells of Cologne, I was surprised that our drive took us through streets no way differing from those of most other cities, and, except in the vicinity of the eleven thousand virgins, smelling no worse. Still, there may be vile, ill-smelling streets; but so there are in Edinburgh, London, and New York.

From Cologne we went, at four o'clock, to Dusseldorf, a little town, celebrated for the head quarters of the Dusseldorf school of painting.