Part 21 (2/2)

She walked to the side, attracting the goblins' attention away from the dragon. She was such a pretty girl that this was no problem; every jury-eye was riveted to her as she shook out her luxurious black hair and breathed deeply. ”Yes, I shall prove all that and more,” she said with new emphasis. ”At great length. I call as the first witness the human child Ivy. Someone better untie her so she can testify.”

”Oh, no you don't!” Gorbage cried. ”No conniving goblin tricks here! She can speak well enough tied!”

Ivy walked up. Only her hands were tied. Gorbage glared at her. ”You sniveling little snit, do you swear to blab the truth, most of the truth, and nothing much except the truth, or else?”

”Sure,” Ivy agreed, interested in this procedure. She had never been to a trial before. Stanley chomped through another strand. ”I generally do.”

Now Glory took over. ”Did you see this feathered freak here on this perch corrupting any innocent goblin girls?” Hardy winced but didn't squawk; he realized what was happening.

”No,” Ivy said stoutly.

”What?” Gorbage demanded in high dudgeon.

”All he did was kiss her,” Ivy said. ”My father does that to my mother all the time, except when they think I'm looking.”

There was a stir of ire in the jury. ”Pollution!” a jury-goblin muttered.

Ivy's brow wrinkled. ”I thought plooshun was bad water.”

”That too, honey,” Glory murmured, smiling obscurely. She adjusted her clothing, again riveting the jury. ”I now call the defendant as witness.”

”That liar can't be sworn in!” Gorbage protested. Glory made a quarter-smile. ”Is that true, defendant? Are you unable to swear?”

Hardy let out a stream of profanity that wilted the adjacent vegetation and sent wisps of smoke curling up from the post he perched on.

Glory's ears turned bright orange-red and her mouth caved in as if she had swallowed her teeth, but she turned to her father. After a couple of attempts, she managed to speak. ”I don't understand a word of that, of course. Tell me. Father--is that or is that not adequate swearing?”

Gorbage hastily wiped a gape of incredulous admiration off his face. ”Got to admit--that's one thing a harpy can do pretty well,” he grudged.

”Very well,” she said primly. ”I am taking the judge's word that you have been properly sworn in. Defendant, did you ever kiss any goblin girls?”

”Only one,” Hardy said.

There was another stir in the jury. ”The c.o.c.k confesses!” a goblin muttered. ”Get the rope ready!”

”And what is your intent toward said girl?” Glory asked.

”To marry her and take her away from all this,” the harpy testified.

Gorbage turned mottled purple. ”The audacity of this cretin! Execution is way too good for him!”

”But, Father,” Glory protested innocently, ”you have always maintained that the only fate worse than death is marriage.”

There was a stifled sn.i.g.g.e.r from the jury. Gorbage glared, and the sound snigged out. ”Get on with it!” the judge gritted.

”I trust I have made my case,” Glory said with a certain demure smugness. ”Now let the defender take over.”

Hugo took the center stage, his hands still bound behind him. There was a faint crunch as Stanley separated another strand of the net. It was a tough net, but the dragon had strong teeth.

Ivy just knew Hugo would do a brilliant job in an impossible situation; already he looked handsome and confident, despite being bound. She saw several of the jury-goblins do double takes, as if seeing him for the first time; they had not realized how competent he would turn out to be. ”Is there any law against harpy-goblin marriages?” he asked rhetorically. Famous lawyers were good at rhetoric. Ivy knew, though she wasn't quite certain what the term meant.

Gorbage and the jury burst out laughing. They rolled on the ground, expelling black tears of mirth.

”I gather, from this unbecoming levity, that there is no law,” Hugo concluded suavely, just the way Ivy had known he would. A defender of his caliber could not be rattled by crude behavior.

”Indeed, historically there have been many such liaisons. Any of you could marry a harpy hen if you wanted to.”

This set off an even more ferocious siege of merriment. Not even a c.o.c.katrice would care to marry a harpy hen!

”And so a goblin girl can marry a harpy c.o.c.k if she wants to,” Hugo concluded brilliantly. ”There is no cause for a trial, let alone an execution. I therefore move that this court be adjourned and the defendant set free.”

Suddenly the goblins were sober. ”Outrageous!” Gorbage exclaimed. ”Marry a harpy? Why not eat zombie refuse while you're at it?”

”But there is no law,” Hugo insisted. ”Therefore Hardy can't be executed for--”

”Yes he can!” Gorbage insisted. ”For polluting and corrupting my innocent daughter!” The goblins of the jury applauded.

Ivy had to admit to herself that the situation looked bad, but she maintained confidence in Hugo's ability to handle it. Things always looked darkest just before the dawn; that was part of the script. And Stanley was now halfway free of the net. Before long he would be ready to fight, and she was sure he had built up plenty of white-hot steam.

”Very well,” Hugo said smoothly. ”I call the defendant as witness.”

”Sure, the c.o.c.k's already incriminated himself proper,” Gorbage said. ”Let the birdbrain do it some more.”

Hugo faced the post. ”Bird-br--uh. Defendant, has the subject of marriage between you and the goblin girl been broached before this date?” Hugo was sounding more like a lawyer as Ivy's confidence in him grew.

”Yes,” Hardy said.

”Who broached it?”

”Well, actually she did. I mean, I would have asked her, but she asked me first.”

Gorbage scowled but did not interfere.

”And you accepted?” Hugo persisted.

”Certainly. I was flattered. A pretty thing like her, with such lovely legs--”

Hugo turned to the jury, which was looking at the legs in question. ”Note who was doing the corrupting. She asked him. So if one of them has to be executed--”

”No!” Hardy cried. ”Don't try to incriminate her! I don't want my freedom at her expense! She's the sweetest, most innocent creature imaginable! She never corrupted anyone! I surely am the guilty party!”

Gorbage nodded. ”I couldn't have put it better myself.” Hugo eyed Hardy speculatively, as if the defender were a dragon toying with trapped prey. ”Are you denying your prior testimony?”

The harpy was taken aback. ”Well, not exactly--”

”Then you may step down.” Hugo glanced at the perch and rope. ”Figuratively, of course. I call Ivy as next witness.” Ivy came forward again. She had been working at her bonds but couldn't get her hands free.

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