Part 12 (2/2)

'Oh my G.o.d!' Lissy claps her hand over her mouth. 'You didn't have s.e.x with him.'

'Worse! I told him all my secrets.'

I'm expecting Lissy to gasp, or say something sympathetic like 'Oh no!' but she's staring at me blankly.

'What secrets?'

'My secrets. You know.'

Lissy looks as if I've told her I've got an artificial leg.

'You have secrets?'

'Of course I have secrets!' I say. 'Everyone has a few secrets.'

'I don't!' she says at once, looking offended. 'I don't have any secrets.'

'Yes you do!'

'Like what?'

'Like ... like ... OK.' I start counting off on my fingers. 'You never told your dad it was you who lost the garage key that time.'

'That was ages ago!' says Lissy scornfully.

'You never told Simon you were hoping he might propose to you ...'

'I wasn't!' says Lissy, colouring. 'Well, OK, maybe I was ...'

'You think that sad guy next door fancies you ...'

'That's not a secret!' she says, rolling her eyes.

'Oh right. Shall I tell him, then?' I lean back towards the open window. 'Hey Mike,' I call. 'Guess what? Lissy thinks you-'

'Stop!' says Lissy frantically.

'You see? You have got secrets. Everyone has secrets. The Pope probably has a few secrets.'

'OK,' says Lissy. 'OK. You've made your point. But I don't understand what the problem is. So you told some guy on a plane your secrets-'

'And now he's turned up at work.'

'What?' Lissy stares at me. 'Are you serious? Who is he?'

'He's ...' I'm about to say Jack Harper's name when I remember the promise I made. 'He's just this ... this guy who's come in to observe,' I say vaguely.

'Is he senior?'

'He's ... yes. You could say he's pretty senior.'

'Blimey.' Lissy frowns, thinking for a few moments. 'Well, does it really matter? If he knows a few things about you.'

'Lissy, it wasn't just a few things.' I feel myself flush slightly. 'It was everything. I told him I faked a grade on my CV.'

'You faked a grade on your CV?' echoes Lissy in shock. 'Are you serious?'

'I told him about feeding Artemis's spider plant orange juice, I told him I find G-strings uncomfortable ...'

I tail off to see Lissy staring at me, aghast.

'Emma,' she says at last. 'Have you ever heard the phrase ”too much information?”'

'I didn't mean to say any of it!' I retort defensively. 'It just kind of came out! I'd had three vodkas, and I thought we were about to die. Honestly, Lissy, you would have been the same. Everyone was screaming, people were praying, the plane was lurching around ...'

'So you blab all your secrets to your boss.'

'But he wasn't my boss on the plane!' I cry in frustration. 'He was just some stranger. I was never supposed to see him again!'

There's silence as Lissy takes this all in.

'You know, this is like what happened to my cousin,' she says at last. 'She went to a party, and there, right in front of her, was the doctor who'd delivered her baby two months before.'

'Ooh.' I pull a face.

'Exactly! She said she was so embarra.s.sed, she had to leave. I mean, he'd seen everything! She said somehow it didn't matter when she was in a hospital room, but when she saw him standing there, holding a gla.s.s of wine and chatting about house prices, it was a different matter.'

'Well, this is the same,' I say hopelessly. 'He knows all my most intimate, personal details. But the difference is, I can't just leave! I have to sit there and pretend to be a good employee. And he knows I'm not.'

'So what are you going to do?'

'I don't know! I suppose all I can do is try to avoid him.'

'How long is he over for?'

'The rest of the week,' I say despairingly. 'The whole week.'

I pick up the zapper and turn on the television and for a few moments we stare silently at a load of dancing models in Gap jeans.

The ad finishes, and I look up again, to see Lissy looking at me curiously.

'What?' I say. 'What is it?'

'Emma ...' She clears her throat awkwardly. 'You don't have any secrets from me, do you?'

'From you?' I say, slightly thrown.

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