Part 6 (1/2)
”That's a very different thing,” protested the Unwiseman. ”Fis.h.i.+n' for whales is a nice gentle sport as long as you don't catch any. But of course if you're going to take his side against me, why you needn't go.”
And the Unwiseman rose up full of offended dignity and walked solemnly away.
”Dear me!” sighed Mollie. ”I'm so sorry he's angry.”
”Nuvver-mind,” whistled Whistlebinkie. ”He won't stay mad long. He'll be back in a little while with some more misinformation.”
Whistlebinkie was right, for in five minutes the old gentleman returned on the run.
”Hurry up, Mollie!” he cried. ”The sailor up on the front piazza says there's a school of Porpoises ahead. I'm going to ask 'em some questions.”
Mollie and Whistlebinkie sprang quickly from the steamer chairs and hurried along after the Unwiseman.
”I've heard a lot about these Schools of Fish,” the Unwiseman observed as they all leaned over the rail together. ”And I never believed there was such a thing, because all the fish I ever saw were pretty stupid--leastways there never were any of them could answer any of the questions I put to 'em. That may have been because being out o' water they were very uncomfortable and feelin' kind of stiff and bashful, but out here it ought to be different and I'm going to examine 'em and see what they're taught.”
”Here they come!” cried Mollie, as a huge gathering of porpoises plunging and tumbling over each other appeared under the lee of the vessel. ”My what a lot!”
”Hi there, Porpy!” shouted the Unwiseman. ”Por-pee, come over here a minute. What will seven times eight bananas divided by three mince pies multiplied by eight cream cakes, subtracted from a Monkey with two tails leave?”
The old man c.o.c.ked his head to one side as if trying to hear the answer.
”Don't hear anything, do you?” he asked in a moment.
”Maybe they didn't hear you,” suggested Mollie.
”Askem-something-geezier,” whistled Whistlebinkie.
”Something easier?” sniffed the Unwiseman. ”There couldn't be anything easier than that. It will leave a very angry monkey. You just try to subtract something from a monkey some time and you'll see. However it is a long question so I'll give 'em another.”
The old gentleman leaned forward again and addressing the splas.h.i.+ng fish once more called loudly out:
”If that other sum is too much for you perhaps some one of you can tell me how many times seven divided by eleven is a cat with four kittens,”
he inquired.
Still there was no answer. The merry creatures of the sea were apparently too busy jumping over each other and otherwise indulging in playful pranks in the water.
”They're mighty weak on Arithmetic, that's sure,” sneered the Unwiseman.
”I guess I'll try 'em on jography. Hi there, Porpee--you big black one over there--where's Elmira, New York?”
The Porpoise turned a complete somersault in the air and disappeared beneath the water.
”Little Jacka.s.s!” growled the Unwiseman. ”Guess he hasn't been going to school very long not to be able to say that Elmira, New York, is at Elmira, New York. Maybe we'll have better luck with that deep blue Porpoise over there. Hi-you-you blue Porpoise. What's the chief product of the lunch counter at Poughkeepsie?”
Again the Unwise old head was c.o.c.ked to one side to catch the answer but all the blue porpoise did was to wiggle his tail in the air, as he b.u.t.ted one of his brother porpoises in the stomach. The Unwiseman looked at them with an angry glance.
”Well all I've got to say about you,” he shouted, ”is that your father and mother are wasting their money sending you to school!”
To which one of the Porpoises seemed to reply by sticking his head up out of the crest of a wave and sneezing at the Unwiseman.