Part 46 (1/2)
”Me eyes is crossed,” sighed Kate. ”No, love,”
”Not crossed,” cried Pat. ”Be jaber, 'Tis jist that aich is jealous of The beauty av its neighbor.”
The other day the head of a boarding-school noticed one of the boys wiping his knife on the table-cloth, and pounced on him at once.
”Is that what you do at home?” he asked indignantly.
”Oh, no,” answered the boy quickly, ”we have clean knives.”
JOHN--Say, do you want to get next to a scheme for making money fast?
TOM--Sure I do.
JOHN--Glue it to the floor.
”Pa,” said little Willie, who had been reading a treatise on phrenology, ”what is a b.u.mp of destructiveness?”
”Why--er--a railroad collision, I suppose,”
He always kneeled before the maid And kissed her finger tips; But he lost out. Another man Came by and kissed her lips.
”Charley, dear,” said young Mrs. Torkins, ”I hope you are not going into politics.”
”What made you think of that?”
”I heard you talking in your sleep about 'standing pat.'”
A man and his bride by the parson were tied, And when the performance was done, ”Alas!” exclaimed he, examining his fee, ”I add one to one and make one.”
MISTRESS (to cook who has fallen down stairs)--I hope that you did not hurt yourself, Mary?