Part 3 (1/2)

HE--I'll go to-morrow and buy a diamond engagement ring.

SHE--Now, George, for the first time your talk has the true ring in it.

”I am told,” said she, saucily, ”that though you are a military man, you are afraid of powder.”

”To prove that the a.s.sertion is calumnious,” replied he, ”I have only to do this.”

Whereupon he lightly kissed her on the cheek, and his lips showed that he was not.

MRS. PENDERGAST (in disgust)--You call these shades alike! Is there anything you can match?

MR. PENDERGAST--Yes. Pennies.

Pressed for work--cider.

Never out of print--the calico counter.

”Is this a fire insurance office?”

”Yes, sir; can we write you some insurance?”

”Perhaps you can. You see, my employer threatens to fire me next Sat.u.r.day, and I'd like some protection.”

”We should never complain, whatever may befall us,” said the minister. ”The moment we grow dissatisfied we become unhappy.”

”Do you really think so?” she sighed.

”Yes,” returned the good man; ”the first woman who complained of her Lot, was turned into a pillar of salt.”

”Tommy,” said mamma, tearfully, ”it gives me as much pain as it does you to punish you.”

TOMMY (also tearfully)--Mebbe it does, but not in the same place.