Part 24 (1/2)

'It's a hair of the dog that bit us,' said Mendel, who, with Peleg, had lingered to back up Barzinsky.

'Of the mad dog!' exclaimed the _Parna.s.s_. 'And you're all raging mad.'

'It's the only sane way,' urged Peleg. 'When he sees his rivals open----'

'You!' The President turned on him. 'You are not even a marine-dealer.

Why are you open?'

'How could I dissociate myself from the rest of the Sub-Committee?'

inquired Peleg with righteous indignation.

'You are a set of sinners in Israel!' cried the _Parna.s.s_, forgetting even to take snuff. 'This will split up the congregation.'

'The congregation through its Council gave the Committee full power to deal with the matter,' said Barzinsky with dignity.

'But then the other marine-dealers will open as well as the Committee!'

'I trust not,' replied Barzinsky fervently. 'Two of us are enough to cut down his takings.'

'But the whole lot of you would be still more efficacious. Oh, this is the destruction of our congregation, the death of our religion!'

'No, no, no,' said Solomon soothingly. 'You are mistaken. We are most careful not to touch money. We are going to trust our customers, and keep our accounts without pen or ink. We have invented a most ingenious system, which gives us far more work than writing, but we have determined to spare ourselves no trouble to keep the Sabbath from unnecessary desecration.'

'And once the customers don't pay up, your system will break down.

No, no; I shall write to the Chief Rabbi.'

'We will explain our motives,' said Mendel.

'Your motives need no explanation. This scandal must cease.'

'And who are you to give orders?' shrieked Solomon Barzinsky. 'You're not speaking to a _Schnorrer_, mind you. My banking account is every bit as big as yours. For two pins I start an opposition _Shool_.'

'A Sunday _Shool_!' said the _Parna.s.s_ sarcastically.

'And why not? It would be better than sitting playing solo on Sundays.

We are not in Palestine now.'

'Oh, Simeon Samuels has been talking to you, has he?'

'I don't need Simeon Samuels' wisdom. I'm an Englishman myself.'

XX

The desperate measures of the Sub-Committee were successful. The other marine-dealers hastened to a.s.sociate themselves with the plan of campaign, and Simeon Samuels soon departed in search of a more pious seaport.